Tell Me Why

"How quickly LIFE changes."
-Dresden
(2006 German mini-series)

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 7, 1985
Thursday

Dale couldn't hold back this morning.
"I had a dream about you last night, Michael...but I don't remember it."
"Oh great, then why tell me?"
"I'm glad you're starting to share and open up with me."
"Yeah, who knows what I'll tell you next."
"Don't forget. You can murder me by one phone call to my wife, Dee."

The morning was a bit depressing. I wanted to go home, so I signed up for AX (Absent Without Pay) time. It didn't happen. They needed representation today.

Dale and I were supposed to go to the San Francisco 24-Hour Nautilus gym but I forgot my tennis shoes. We didn't go. Dale wanted to still go by driving to my house after work to get my shoes. I talked him out of that at lunchtime. We ate at Wendy's.

Dale saw his ex (Terry) from 1982 on that corner of Market Street again.
"I wonder...should I give Terry some bonds and his birth certificate that I still have from him?" Dale asked.
"You should dump them and let bygones be bygones."
"Hmmm...I'm still kind of curious as to what he's up to these days."
"I can relate," I said as I pondered the goings on of George Jones. I wonder what he is doing and then I realize I am better off not knowing.

Larry, my second-line manager mentioned that he'd heard that my brother, Tony, was trying to transfer in to our SDC (Sales Development Center) office.
"I'm not so thrilled with the idea," I confessed to Dale.
Dale sighed. "I can relate."

One section is supposed to wear Chinese clothing tomorrow in honor of the Chinese New Year.

After work, Dale and I went for a drink at The White Horse in Berkeley. We had White Russians and Tom Collins cocktails.
"You know, Michael, my wife, Dee and I made a decision that if we have a boy we're going to name him Andrew Michael-Joseph Orlando!"
"Wow! Really? That would be my very first namesake! That really makes me feel good and special, Dale."
Dale said some truly nice things to me tonight. It's amazing what a Tom Collins can do.
"I would name my son that because I'd like him to grow up to be like you. You're so calm, cool, collective, compassionate. And you have a love of people. You are caring."
He was ever-so-kind. I love Dale's friendship. Sometimes we get into lewd discussions but it's all in fun and I like his off-the-wall sense of humor.

My White Russians were kicking in as I shared with Dale a bit about my relationship with George Jones in 1983. I said nothing too revealing. I did tell him about my going out with Tammy Duhr and seeing Frank Vasconcellos at that 'gay' skating rink in San Leandro. I told him of my meeting people like Bryan and Rick Clark there, too.

After Dale had dropped me off at my car at the Fruitvale BART station I was driving in my car and noticed something unusual. My cassette tapes were missing! My Greg Khin Band "Happy Man", my INXS tape and my new tapes by Bronski Beat and Alphaville "Big In Japan" that mom bought for me last Saturday. That pushed me down a level. After I pulled up to my garage I saw that my GENIE garage door opener had disappeared. I was down and out again. The "Tell Me WHY" song by Bronski Beat seems so apropos to hear right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THCGwvwTiDA

I parked outside and walked in to share the news with Marty.
Marty shrugged. "Ahh man."
He had one of those 'too bad' attitudes. I almost got an impression that he was really thinking "Hee Hee Hee, tough cookies" in the back of his mind. Maybe it was just my imagination but I also hate when Marty regularly says, "What's that?" after every statement I make.

I went to the gym and that was when I noticed the knife torn slit on the side of my convertible top. Another downer!

I immediately drove to the gym for stress release. While on the Life Cycle I saw Bryan from the old 'gay' skating rink days.
He stopped by my Life Cycle and said, "Hey, I've been slacking off and I'm trying to go to the gym again."
"That's good," I smiled as I remembered how I always liked him. We talked a while and then I continued with my work out.

I was trying to forget about the added character my car now has with the slit on the convertible top (and the trouble I have to deal with in getting another GENIE garage door opener now). And now that I have this #$%@&-Marty rooming with me I am in no mood.

I saw this Hispanic fellow at my gym who kept eyeing me. I followed him into the Alpha Beta grocery store where I bought some black cloth tape for my convertible top. I wanted to conceal the slit. I was suspicious of the Hispanic guy's flaunting and questionable ways but I just left and went home.

I telephoned Dale, then Steffanie, then Dad for much needed consolation about my robbery and burden at the Fruitvale BART station tonight.

I am beginning to feel and catch Steff in her lies.
"I am going to Great America because some band I know invited me for this Sunday."
"Oh yeah, which band?"
She hummed and hawed and didn't seem to have a quick enough answer. She's a "fibber". What's real? What's 'for real' with her?

I have not JO'd since last Sunday. I need it now for relaxation after the mishaps of this evening. At least I got paid $588 and an extra $41 check (which was the verifying cancellation of my auto insurance). I can use all the refunds I can get at this point.

It's funny. In the last six months three items of mine that were lost or stolen were difficult for me to cope with. There was my Beverly Hills umbrella, my lock that I had since my high-school days and now: my car mats, my cassette tapes and my GENIE garage door opener. Who knows what will be next? It's kind of a let down since a lot of those items have special sentimental value. They can never be replaced.

I wonder about the Garage Door Opener deal. I will have to call GENIE tomorrow for the scoop on what to do. I am distraught.

I called Jim Koran in Los Angeles. He wasn't home, so I left a message for him. He called back at 11:30PM or so. He made a nice comment when I shared my robbery story.
"Why do things like that happen to the 'nice' people?"
He's such a pal. I needed humanitarian comfort like that.
Jim added, "I'm coming to Northern Cal next weekend, so I may see you there."
He says he won't be leaving until 9:30PM next Sunday night, so I hope to see him. We shall see. (?)

The wild, turbid feelings of the previous night had by this time completely passed away, and it was almost with a sense of shame that he looked back upon his mad wanderings from street to street, his fierce emotional agony.
-Oscar Wilde
"Lord Arthur Savile's Crime"