Inappropriate, but not Unlawful

"It's wonderful to have a friend like you..someone to depend upon and come back to."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

I was seated outside at Monsoon Café at 2PM on Thursday, September 16th (a few days ago) in Santa Monica, California when two police officers walked by. I overheard just four words.

One officer said to the other, “Inappropriate, but not unlawful.”

After a bit of discussion on the matter (with Alan Freiman) we took it to mean that one can get away with a lot in this town without it being ‘against the law’.

My advice:
When in doubt just be GOOD!

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 22, 1984
Saturday

I’m getting my car a ‘clean through’ in terms of changing oil, filter and lube at Gomes Tire Service over in Oakland. Then I plan to head over to Great Western Savings for a loan of $5000 at a fixed-rate for one year to clear my credit card debt.
“Ugh to those damn credit cards with nineteen to seventeen percent annual percentage rates!”

I learned that Great Western does not accept personal loans, only mortgage and home equity loans. And so, it’s their loss. I will have to see Patelco Credit Union next week sometime.

Once I arrived home at 9:15AM (or so) Suzy Miller called to invite me to Ole’s Waffle Shop for breakfast. She treated me and it was quaint conversation. It seems that every time I go to Ole’s now there is someone to look at or there is someone that finds me interesting to look at. I guess that is a good thing. I must be eye-catching. Suzy is eye-catching, too.

I went bicycling after Suzy looked at some pictures that I had over at my mom’s house. Suzy didn’t feel like biking right away. She wanted to lie out and catch some sun rays for a while first.

I went cycling and I saw the blond girl from Denmark that I met when Wayne, Paul and I went to Baxter’s nightclub that night. She’s a bit OW (overweight).

I also met Alfonse who is from Colombia. He is looking for a job and a place to live. We had a good talk. I don’t know too much about this chap, so I’m playing it cool. I saw the movie SCARFACE and don’t want any Colombia drug lords in my life.
Suzy still did not end up biking with me today because she thought I wasn’t coming over. Instead, she promised a fellow apartment mate a bike ride alongside him as he jogged.
“Oh, okay,” I said after she explained that one.

Then I went home and expected Frank Vasconcellos to call me. He never did.

I decided to go to the movies with Suzy instead. At about 6:30PM when I was just walking out the door the telephone rang. It was Karen Jackson (of England) calling me from San Francisco.
“Hello. I called to see what you were up to. I thought you might want to go out tonight.
“Well, I just made plans with my friend, Frank. I will call you tomorrow about going out on Sunday night,” I replied, knowing full well I would not be able to go out for ‘short on cash’ reasons.
“Oh, well, I just returned from Santa Cruz anyway. That will be good,” Karen said.

I spent one-hundred dollars real quick:
$20 for gas
$20 for BART ticket
$20 for Oil, Lube and Filter change
$20 for Dinner and movie with Suzy
$20 for miscellaneous lunch, and photo developing

Suzy and I went to see a ‘Sneak Preview’ screening of ‘Irreconcilable Differences’ but ended up seeing ‘Windy City’ instead from 9:30pm to 11:30pm. We shared a small pizza at ‘Ye Olde Pizza Joint’. It was fun. We had a good time. There was no kiss goodnight sharing but then again I didn’t make the initiation for one. I wondered if she would have liked me to kiss her.

That kissing thought was immediately erased when Suzy said, “That flick reminded me of Don, my ex-boyfriend.” I thought that was a shitty thing to say to me. We decided against dancing over at the Black Angus.
“I feel I am a party pooper tonight,” Suzy said.

I dropped Suzy off at her apartment, went home, jerked myself a soda and started to sleep.

PHOTO: 1980s,
Paloma

I decided to telephone Paloma. She was really very happy to hear from me. We kept it brief but it was nice to hear her voice once again.

Paloma will call me tomorrow and we shall carry on with our 'catching up' conversation.

Already her beauty was now too full-blown, too opulent.
A rose, wide open to its fullest extent, just at the moment before it begins to fade.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path:

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Thank Heavens for Harriet

What harm is there in dreaming, if it eases pain?
What good is reality,
if it blots out hope?
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"

When I worked at Charles Schwab & Co. in the 1990’s I had a client who would come to visit me semi-frequently. Her name was Harriet Cutler. She was an elder lady and we ‘hit it off’ with conversation and fondness for one another. She was certainly old enough to be my grandmother but I could still see ‘the young woman’ in her. I even told her so.

When I left Charles Schwab in 1999 we continued our friendship, mostly by the exchange of postcards. She would still travel and would share anecdote happenings of her family, travels and books in her correspondence. She volunteered at the local Santa Monica Library and would love to inspire children to read.

One time I asked her to recommend one of her favorite books to me. She suggested a passion for “Spring Moon” by Bette Bao Lord. I did read that book and absolutely loved it. I learned a lot from it. The story took me to Old China and it shared much wisdom. I gave Harriet much praise for the recommendation.

One time Harriet sent me a photo of her when she was very young after I had requested it. It was fun to see that. She loved to read and write. I loved that about her.

Time has passed and her postcards were becoming fewer and fewer. I did arrange the few times we met for lunch in Santa Monica. It was always my treat.

PHOTO: October 19, 2001
Michael J Armijo, Harriet Cutler
Book Sale, Santa Monica Library
It makes me smile NOW to see how happy I made her feel in the above photograph. I did not really notice it at the time but as I see this photo I recall the snugness of the hug.

Only days ago, on August 28, 2009, I received a phone call from Marcie, Harriet’s daughter. It seems Harriet passed away on July 6, 2009.

She will be very much missed by me. Marcie said that she had an emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer and went through rehabilitation steps. She had been doing just fine. Eventually, she was under 24-hour hospice care at home, passing away in the comfortable setting of her own home. I imagine her surrounded by her many books. I wish I knew more of the titles on her bookshelf. Thank heavens for having a little bit of Harriet in my life.

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 16, 1984
Sunday

I received a phone call from my mother in the morning. She is just fine. All is good.

I telephoned Karen (of England) and we made plans to take the ferry to Angel Island today. We were too late for the noon ferry ride, so I drove her out to my ‘necks of the woods. She liked Alameda. We did some sun bathing out at South Shore Beach and she threw me for a loop when she spoke.
“This reminds me of New Zealand, very much,” Karen said.
I laughed in wonder, having never been to that part of the world.

I saw a guy named John (from La Val’s Pizza) at the beach. He’s a nice guy. I have run into him a few times. Is it just a coincidence?

Karen and I headed for Orange Julius at around 3PM and then over to the Ice-Cream Dock for dessert. We went to my place and I began to nap as she took a shower. The sand can be evil when you are lying out at the beach.
After the shower, Karen came out wearing only a towel and said, “I want to go to bed.”
I was already lying in bed in my underwear.
“Sure,” I said, wondering if she meant ‘sleeping in bed’ or ‘the naughty-naughty in bed’.
We lay there together naked under the covers (I slipped off my underwear). I liked the warmth of her body against mine. I began to make very minor attempts as we both touched a bit.

The sun had both of us quite tired and this was about all that I can say as we both snoozed for a bit. I felt awkward and was kind of nervous.

Soon enough I found myself getting up and I took Karen back home to San Francisco. She was home by 8pm on this Sunday night. I got lost via side streets as I was in the tenderloin area (I think) and then drove through Mission Boulevard and 6th Street until I finally found an entrance to the Bay Bridge.

I went over to mom’s house and munched on some mixed-nuts and sipped thirstily at the orange juice that was remaining in the refrigerator.

I returned back to my house. I was bummed out mainly from my lack of performance with Karen. The freckles on her back were a slight turn off. I guess ‘I could have’ taken advantage of the sensual situation but she seemed the type who just wanted to lay there while I did all of the work.

I telephoned Chris Cordellos. His friend, Grant, answered the telephone. This bummed me out, too. Chris started to insinuate that Grant is ‘the one’ now. I assume they are an item. I acted rather drab on the phone.
Suddenly, Chris said, “I think my mom would sell you her bar for a thousand dollars”.
“Yeah, if only I had the money.”
We pretty much closed our connection at this point.

I guess I miss the Chris Cordellos companionship. I will have to realize that there are new paths I can take.

Now for my shower…
It was a long-awaited shower, too. I am tempted to now call Jim Koran in Los Angeles but I would rather not chance the listening to his recording device again. I will wait for his reply from the card I mailed to him.

I saw a beautiful girl on the beach today (never mind that I was on the beach already with a beautiful girl). This beautiful girl was with that geeky bartender who works at McGee’s Pub on Park Street. He was also with Janice Van Gundy the day I had traffic school.

I saw Michele Mikami at the South Shore Shopping Center, too (another pal from Alameda High School).

I kept thinking of Karen (of England). She told me she kept a diary. I wonder what she wrote about me on this day. The English wench stole a roll of film from me. I did not have the heart to demand that she return it.

She would ask him to find the telltale sign of a beginning or an end.
He never could, and each time she smiled and said,
"It is as it should be".
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"

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The Portrait Gifts: Janet Lance Hughes & Chris Davis

Part of growing up is learning how our actions effect other people and how we handle that power. It's kind of what it's like to be 'a parent' or 'a friend'.
-as heard while watching
KYLE-XY, Season II


Do you ever crave a Cheese Danish? Alan found the place for one in Santa Monica, CA. It’s only $1.60 for one pocket. It’s called VIENNA PASTRY. It’s at 1215 Wilshire Blvd. (and there is a convenient post-office next door to mail any letters you may need to send off).
http://www.bing.com/local/details.aspx?lid=YN79x983381&qt=yp&what=vienna+bakery&where=Santa+Monica%2c+CA&s_cid=ansPhBkYp02&mkt=en-us&q=vienna bakery, santa monica

Now, if you have some extra time and you want the BEST coffee I have had in ages go to the Intelligentsia Café at their new Coffee Bar in Venice, CA at 1331 Abbott Kinney Blvd. They are turning coffee into the science of tasting and loving (something STARBUCKS has totally missed). Look at their website for their other locations (including Chicago and New York):
http://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/

I must honorably mention two special people who have made a point to ‘gift me’ my very own portrait in their own unique style.

Janet Lance-Hughes is a university lecturer, artist and consultant to a variety of businesses. She lives in London, England and worked as a Fashion Design and Marketing instructor and tutor at the prestigious Central St. Martin School of Fashion & Design. She is a member of the Chelsea Arts Club in London. I am excited to see her in Hay-on-Wye in May 2010 when she will present me with my portrait. She has a special method of painting and creating and it will be interesting to see the final masterpiece.

Chris Davis is from the New Castle, England area. He is passionate about photography and design. He established ‘Specular’ which enables him to produce artwork, design and photography for clients. He had a three-dimensional new concept to portraiture that he will produce for me. I am anxious to see his final masterpiece as well.

It is so kind of them to do these portrait gifts for me/of me, but the true 'GIFT' is the 'gift of them'.

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 22, 1984
Sunday

I woke up at 10AM (very late for me). I did not visit Nici Maurino last night either. She invited me but I guess I am not as anxious to f--k her as she is to get f--ked by me. I keep recalling the night she slept over and how she pressed her ‘you know what’ up against my behind. She was ‘wet’ too. She really is not my type.

Yesterday, Nici told me she left early that morning because her ‘period’ was starting and she figured I did not carry tampons. She made more intimate condescending remarks in a teasing sort of way as she spoke to me over the phone.

PHOTO: Different Spokes

I left on my bicycle at 11AM for the BART station and took a ride to the Embarcadero Station in San Francisco. I got lost for a good while as I searched for Golden Gate Park for the Company Picnic. By 1PM I found it. I hung out in The City with Karyn Kossoff. She is so cute. Her smile and laugh is irresistible. I like her mood and positive outlook. I talked to the Assistant Manager, Colleen, for a while, too. I have seen her somewhere. Maybe it was a quick sighting while I was jogging or bicycling along Shoreline Drive in Alameda. Colleen says she lives in Alameda.

I scraped my left knee playing ‘tug of war’. I drank a lot of beer and I could sense some of the guys from the office ‘checking me out’. I couldn’t take it (it made me feel uncomfortable). I like Ryan Hargrave, he’s a nice guy. I spent a lot of the day talking to Karyn Kossoff. I sensed her attempt to ask if I was gay. She did not ask because she knew the answer (per her tub mate, Bob, who probably asked my longtime pal, Barbara Reynolds). Then, Patty Reid, the overweight one, asked me at around 7PM that night.
“Are you gay?” Patty asked in a point blank kind of way.
“No,” I said with a scathing, dirty look.
I denied it because (for ONE) I hate the term. I am not gay. I am ‘happy’ and any sexual partner I choose is MY business. And my preference (be it male or female) is 'and does' depend on my mood. I know every individual has half & half concepts of sex with either/or sex because I have seen the way straight men look at me and straight women look at other women. Something ‘sexual’ crosses their minds. There is no denying it. It just depends on who and where the attraction begins and where the circumstances end.
PHOTO: Image of a boy after
being asked 'Are you gay?'

I left Golden Gate Park by 7:30PM and was home by 9PM. That's pretty good considering I had to ride from Golden Gate Park to a BART station and get off at Fruitvale and ride my bike into Alameda.

That night, I left a telephone message on Karyn Kossoff’s answering recorder. I then proceeded to drift off to sleep.

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The Adam Lambert Lookalike

"Every one has a double somewhere in the world" is a common phrase.
When I visit parts of Spain I feel the connections in the familiar faces especially in Zaragoza, home of the Armijo Palace.
-Michael Joe Armijo

It happened on March 24, 2009.
"Do you watch American Idol?" asked Brenda, my friend in Jacksonville, Florida.
"No, why?" I asked, "is there someone I should watch via youtube.com?"
"There's a guy on the show who reminds me of you. His name is Adam Lambert," she said.

The next day I received a note on my FaceBook wall from my longtime friend, Suzi Miller, in the Denver, Colorado area.
Suzy wrote, "Have you seen any of American Idol? Adam reminds me of you when we were in our twenties."

I thought it ironic to hear of this news over two days. I proceeded to write this on my FaceBook status on March 26, 2009:

Michael J Armijo is 'sorta' flattered that two people in the last 2 days say "I" remind them of the new Amer Idol hero, Adam Lambert. Could we be distant cousins? It must be the trademark eyebrows. LOL

There were several replies to my status statement, including the one that wrote 'You could be his Dad'. That truly seems more reasonable. I could be his father. Lambert is 27 years old (born January 29, 1982) and I will soon be 5 decades old (on May 26, 2009).

Suzy wrote again, "If you saw him in Wednesday nights' performance, he changed his style up, fixed his hair more like you and that's when I really saw the resemblance."

This morning's Sunday New York Times had another article about Adam Lambert. There is a photo of him next to Liberace, Prince and David Bowie that implies that the young man is "gay". Who cares whether he is or not? Let him be.
And if the three photos I found (below) via an internet surf are any indication the likely answer is a definite affirmative.




He is one talented musician. If I were his son I'd be proud of the chap.

Twenty-five years ago today:

April 12, 1984
Thursday

This morning I telephoned Chris Cordellos.
"Jim came to visit last night and he didn't say one word. I think it was because Barb, Leandra and some other chick was here," Chris said.
Chris was really freakin' out about the fact that Jim didn't say much to him. Was it a case of the 'silent treatment'?

I ordered some trendy summertime tank tops and two pairs of pants from the International Male catalog today.
I shared lunch with my brother, Tony, and his date, Helen, in the company cafeteria. I telephoned mom.
"You have a letter here from Michael Thoennes. That's what it says on the return address," mom said.

I read the card from Michael Thoennes later that evening. He wrote 'I think of you day and night'. I couldn't help but freak out a bit when I read those words. He also wrote that he wasn't going to call me anymore because he wasn't sure where I stood with him. It was kind of him to write this letter. I just don't think I want any deeper involvement with him other than friendship at this time.

I have a recurring appointment at The Sperm Bank on Wednesdays at 5:30PM. I will stick it out a little longer to see what happens. I really just want to wait on the news that someone was impregnated and then 'end my good deed'.

I did not ride my bike today but I went to see a very pregnant Sherri and I picked up my mail that was there. I had my Bicycling Magazine and my car payment bill waiting for me.

While at home I hung out with Tony and we watched a few situation comedy programs on TV (Gimme A Break, Cheers and Family Ties).


The "Cheers" episode made me realize how we tend to take loved ones for granted. When someone new starts to be fond of your loved one, you want your loved one all back to yourself.

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Heartbreak Alley

"I shall be better for having known you."
-from the British film
Daniel Deronda

I am in the mood to do a tribute sort of blog today. I want to share two sorrowful stories that began as pleasure excursions. It gives us all a wake up call as to how a random mishap can turn our lives around.

The first one involved two NFL football players and two of their good friends. They sailed into the Gulf of Mexico on a fishing trip on February 28, 2009 when the boat overturned in the choppy waters. I read a few online articles and found them confusing as to 'who was who' in terms of these players. I decided to 'cut to the chase' by writing this condensed tribute story while clarifying 'who is who' through these photographs.

PHOTO: These are the players pictured here respectively (Corey Smith, William Bleakley, Victor Marquis Cooper and Nick Schuyler):


Corey smith was a free agent defensive lineman.

William Bleakley was a former University of South Florida football player.

Victor Marquis Cooper owned the boat and was an Oakland Raiders linebacker.


Nick Schulyer was a former twenty-four year old former University of South Florida football player.

Nick was the sole survivor in this unfortunate tragedy. Nick Schuyler said that he and Bleakley were the last two survivors. Bleakley encouraged Nick to stay upbeat as they hung on to the boat and talked to each other through the last night in the dark terrifying waters.
"It's the longest thing possible you can imagine. We just kept saying that we weren't going to go out like this," Nick Schuyler said.

PHOTO: 2007-Nick with his girlfriend, Paula Olivera.

Nick was found clinging to the hull of the twenty-one foot Everglades boat on Monday afternoon,March 2, 2009. The search for the remaining three athletes was called off on Tuesday, March 3, 2009.

PHOTO: William Bleakley during a game

"He saved my life. I'll never ever forget Will. I'm only here today because of what Will did," Nick Schuyler told reporters.

The second story involves actress, Natasha Richardson. She was born in England on May 11, 1963. She ventured out on a Montreal ski vacation with her husband, Liam Neeson, and her two sons (Michael and Daniel Neeson).

She died of injuries from a blunt impact to the head after falling on a Canadian ski slope. She passed away two days later at Lenox Hill hospital in New York City on March 18, 2009 (yesterday).

I now wish I had seen her On-Broadway in 'A Streetcar Named Desire' in 2005 when I had the opportunity. She was such a talent and will be greatly missed by many.
She had been scheduled to perform in a revival of Stephen Sondheim's "A Little Night Music" this year, after a January benefit performance of the show. We can still see her 'forever' in her many films.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001670/

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 19, 1984, Tuesday

During my lunch hour I went to Brooks Camera. To my own embarrassment the problem with my camera was that it just needed new batteries. That minor problem had not even dawned on me.

I drove to Berkeley, CA after work and bought a camera at Denevi's. I'm glad I bought it, too. It was on sale for $49.95. Yes, I charged it on my Preferred VISA. I used it again.

The weather today was so very Springtime. I was about to go bike riding when Chris Cordellos called to interrupt my escape. We got to talking about the Billy Idol concert on Friday night. We also discussed my possible visit to Arcata on the April 1st weekend.
"I'm worried about you being down there in Alameda all alone," Chris said.
To put it plainly his concern is that I may get 'picked up' by someone else. This was flattering to hear. It boosted my morale but I assured him that it was hardly likely.

I did call Nadine tonight though. She wasn't home. I was surprised when she called me but her call was only to say that she received a third notice from Pacific Bell without being referred to an outside collection agency.
"What is this?" I asked myself silently. I'm not even 'at work' now!
I tried to console her worries. She didn't seem to listen to my reasoning. I was actually willing to drive over to visit her but she was going to dinner with her visiting Arkansas girlfriends.
"I'll call you back tonight," Nadine said, making me believe that she really enjoys my conversation.

Chris and I wanted to remain on the telephone all night long. I have a good time talking with him. He's my "VBF" (Very Best Friend) right now. I remember when 'others' were my very best friends. Chris seems extra special now.

I continued taping ninety minutes of select KQAK music. I wanted to create a tape of great music for Chris because I felt guilty that I didn't really give him anything for his 21st Birthday. I am taking him to see Billy Idol and I did treat him to dinner. I guess it will balance itself out. I just feel this tape of selected music is a touch more personal. He will be one that appreciates the time and effort it took to create.

When I went to eat salad and a pork chop with my Dad I looked in the mirror. I was surprised to see some color in my face. It must be from the bike riding. It's good that I take in the sun gradually. Chris said he was 'lobster red' from his visit to the beach. I am envious. I want more free beach time, too.

I called Chris after 11 o'clock when the long-distance rates were 60% off. He was tired, so we didn't talk as long as usual.

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Father Michael Is In San Francisco

“If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”
--Michael Bogosian

Is it not interesting how some people reenter your life after much time has passed? You have to wonder if there is a reason someone returns after years gone by.

If some of you have been reading my transcribed entries from my journals of twenty-five years ago you may recall when I wrote:

...Michael Padazinski called. He works in the adjacent department at work (RTOC-Residence Telephone Order Center). We had a good talk. We plan on getting together soon to talk about his big decision to join the seminary... Will he become a priest?

Well, I thought to do a google search on Sunday afternoon (yesterday) and I found out that Michael Padazinski did actually become a priest:
http://clsa.org/content/?q=node/443

I wrote him a handwritten letter to his San Francisco address today. I’ll let you know if I hear back from him.

Since I found my old friend/priest, Michael, I think I will have to play this one minute tune sung by Bobby Darin for me, him and the quote noted above by Michael Bogosian:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M58eoKaI2g0

Twenty-five years ago:

January 5, 1984

“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I repeated.
“Are you going to apologize?” Barbara Reynolds asked.
“For what?”
“Are you going to apologize?” She repeated.
And so, we still have not made up. I am surprised she is still holding a grudge over such a silly thing.

I ate a little lunch today (a turkey-avocado sandwich) with Helen and my brother, Tony. I had another hard-working day and reviewed my long-distance phone calls on my own telephone bill. I had calls made to:
Leah of Danville, CA
George Jones of Sunnyvale, CA
Steve of Cupertino, CA
Bill Helbush of Concord, CA
Jim of Concord, CA.
That was the jest of the long-distance calls that were listed.

I had ordered a bicycle plaque and a lamp via mail-order and the packages were waiting for me at mom and dad’s house.

I found a ‘Love of Information’ poem on my dining table that made sense. I had to keep it.

In my mailbox I received a neat looking BIKE Card from Paige LaBris in Sacramento, CA. I have not written or called her. I will have to put that on my agenda of things to do. She wants to come over for a visit. She is very welcome but I hate to drive up to Sacramento, back home, up again and back! She’ll have to find her own way to get here.

I exercised today and paid a few bills. I can’t wait until next Thursday (PayDay).
Dave Vigil invited me out next Saturday to double-date. It might be fun but who do I have to accompany me? Tammy? Paloma? Leslie? Helen? Suzy? Someone new?

It was funny when I left work today. There’s a parking attendant fellow that I see every day. I just thought I’d mention him in my journal today because I see him all of the time. He always greets me. He seems friendly enough.
Juanita Lane ‘sort of’ talked to me today. We made up. She is happy again (I think). She is still a bit disturbed about the fact that I didn’t get her a Christmas gift. Odd. I told her I would surprise her. We discussed a movie outing but she’s pissed off again because I’ve seen everything she wants to see (Scarface, Silkwood, Gorky Park). Oh well…what can I say?

I told Leslie Fonseca that I’d call her by Friday to see about getting together after 9pm (when she gets out of work). I did receive one phone call tonight from Bill Helbush. He was bored and was trying to talk his friend, Kevin, into seeing “Octopussy” (the movie). He kept saying how bored he has been feeling.
“It will probably all blow over by the end of January,” Bill added.
I guess it is nice that he ‘at least’ gave me a courteous phone call. I should appreciate his thoughtfulness.

I received another call from a “hanger upper”. I think it was Nici Maurino. I saw her today at the “Pot Belly Deli”.
It amazes me how she actually gave a nonchalant, “Hi”.
I returned the greeting and opened the door for her as she left. She actually “asked” me to open the door for her. It was as if her “blow up” attitude during our last date meant nothing. Time does heal wounds. However, the wound I received with that ‘back stabbing experience’ last July 1983 has not completely healed. There is still an unseen scar that reminds me of the event. All of this means something…I know.

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