-Miss Potter (2006 Film)
Twenty-five years ago today:
April 18, 1985
Thursday
I wrote a letter to Paloma, laying my ground rules to our marriage. I also wrote to Bobbie Renbarger, telling her about my roommate, Marty and my possible marriage to Paloma.
Thinking it over…things have changed. The three factors that made me change my mind to instruct Dale to call the bank to stop payment on the fee for my Immigration fiancé forms were:
1. Margaret Lai’s story of influence of her own relationship.
2. The attractiveness of the blond gal on ‘The Grafenberg Spot’ X-rated flick I saw last night
3. And mom’s words: “Do you love her? Don’t jump the gun.”
I am not going to marry just because my brothers got married.
Margaret Lai married an American citizen for the sole reason of coming into this country.
“At the time, I thought I was in love,” Margaret said.
“So what do you recommend?”
“Michael, I recommend a NO vote on doing the marriage deal even if I don’t know the total relationship between you and Paloma. The doubt and wonder will always be there.”
Another factor is the fact that Paloma said, “Thank you” after I told her we were getting married in July. The “Thank You” remark just did not go over well with me. Despite the involved letter I wrote Paloma about our ideal marriage I feel it is a “NO GO” now. I plan to write her a “Dear Jane” later.
Dale was on a client premise visit in Antioch today. He gave me a couple of Pac Bell sales referrals. He placed a stop payment on that check requiring a five-dollar fee. Dale arrived at about noon and then we went to the Galleria for pizza. I explained to him what changed my mind.
“Michael, I am so relieved.”
“You are?”
“Yes, I gave Margaret Lai a hug for influencing you.”
“Steff thought I was doing the right thing, so did my mom. And so did Mary McTiernan when I decided to not go through with it under these circumstances.”
“You are,” Dale said, patting me on the back.
“Well, I feel good. Now the major part is to explain this to Paloma.”
“You can do it.”
“I will call her on Monday explaining the complications. I’ll just say it’s a ‘no go’ and I will send an upcoming letter with more explanation. I will need to work on that.”
I had a scoop of vanilla ice-cream and strawberries during my break. Yummy.
After work Dale and I went to Mary’s and then we all went to Foster City. Mary pretended to be Dale’s wife for some sales pitch. I was a friend that tagged along. It was fun to do the pretend role play. We all had a good laugh. Dale won a prize to observe an American Travel Package Plan. I didn’t think it was worth it. Our interviewer was a gal named Patrice Curtin. She was a good liar and seemed very nervous as a sales representative. We calmed her down a bit (but just a bit). Dale joked around to Patrice.
“Michael often accompanies my wife and me on vacations. He’s a very close friend,” Dale explained.
I thought that was so funny that he could say it with a straight face while Mary and I looked so serious. We really did have a good time except it was embarrassing because there were only couples. We were the only ‘trio’. We all gathered in a conference room to view a slide show. A representative appeared and announced each of the couples names individually. We were hoping to be announced last (being the only trio and all). Oh no…we were the third ones to be called. A lot of them laughed and made a few ‘hissing’, weird remarks. We just laughed off the embarrassing moment. What else can one do in times of distress and embarrassment? One has to laugh it off. At least that is my personal escape.
Whoop-Dee-Doo! I will have to say that we all deserve an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor (me); Best Actress (Mary) and Best Supporting Actor (Dale).
After the whole spiel we went to TGIF’s in San Mateo. I treated them to drinks, appetizers and dinner. I am now well fed for the week from that place! It was so filling. It was fun there, too. There were many men looking to pick-up. I saw some definite “QBL” types (Questionable). There were a lot of checking-me out looks (of which I felt some).
Steff and I are having dinner on Saturday. Dale told Mary about the dinner. I denied it because it’s none of their business what I plan to do.
It was strange that Sue Fischer didn’t answer her door when we stopped at her place in Millbrae. Oh well (?).
After TGIF’s Dale dropped Mary McTiernan off at her house. On the way to my car in the San Francisco parking lot I told Dale, “You blew it.”
“When?” Dale asked.
“You blew it when you told Patrice Curtin that her Aunt was Jane Curtin--the same Jane Curtin that slept with Tom Selleck in that movie.”
“I don’t think there was anything wrong with that statement.”
“Well, you blew it when you said that.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh…and I can’t believe when that one married man got some coffee and you said ‘MT’. Did you know that Mary heard that?”
“Mary and Sue both have no idea about my previous history as a lover of men.”
“Yeah, but Dale…that isn’t really HISTORY, is it?”
I didn’t have the heart to go on about it with him. I believe Mary and Sue know already. It was only a month ago that Mary asked me, “Didn’t Dale used to be...before he got married?”
I didn’t really deny it. I didn’t really totally agree either. Or did I? Regardless, they know! I made Dale think twice. Sometimes he blurts blunders and only thinks about what he says a long time later. One example is the line about Jane Curtin and Tom Selleck tonight. We didn’t exchange too many words during the drive to my car. We listened to alternative rock KQAK tunes.
I think Dale was gathering thoughts in his mind.
Earlier tonight I said, “Dale, you are always bad mouthing me.”
Mary nodded.
I think Dale realized it was true. He was thinking it over but never revealed the fact.
I mean, he doesn’t ‘bad mouth’ me a whole lot when we are alone. In fact, he compliments me rather regularly. I rarely hear a positive word about me when we are with other people. Maybe it is my imagination but now that I think more about it. It’s very true.
I drove home and wrote out a few checks, then went straight to bed. Yawn.
I was feeling hollow and raw, like a canteloupe that had been split in half and scraped.
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times", a novel
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