Disappearances

Everything that is ever thought or done by people disappears. All human reasoning and actions die, because the minute they’re done with, they belong to a time past and they don’t come back.

…Well, they may survive for a while, but they are on borrowed time.

What is history then…History is only what we keep hold of in order to explain the present in a way we like.

But things, things last. They last beyond the time when their significance has been forgotten.
-Morag Joss
Half-Broken Things

Twenty-five years ago today:

October 6, 1984
Saturday

I telephoned Sue Miller about Ole’s Waffle Shop for breakfast. She agreed and we are going to go. She mentioned that she had some news about Bonnie Jayne, our Alameda High School classmate and friend.

“Bonnie called me and she had a rearrangement of her custody hearing for her daughter, Crystal Joy,” Sue said.

Sue kept on going with the Bonnie stories. Bonnie was currently living with some guy named Melvin Jackson (possibly of Native American Indian descent) in Oakland somewhere. She had not mentioned plans of returning to Alameda but she was working nights at some factory where they make string beans. And during the day Bonnie worked at a Temporary Services Agency.
“Bonnie told me to say hello to you,” Sue added.
“I miss her, but there's always a story with her. She's always pulling a disappearing act.” I said.

PHOTO: July 1975,
A Photo I took of Bonnie Jayne
during our School Days

Suzy and I walked over to ‘Piggy Malones’, a card/gift shop. I purchased my fair share of cards and postcards (a full $11.00 worth). I returned home after that and got on the bike.

I decided to ride via Doolittle Drive and out into Lake Chabot and Castro Valley (one of my favorite getaway riding locales).

On my way I saw mom in her front yard, watering down a window screen. I stopped for a quick five minutes or so to bid her farewell.

I continued on the journey and saw dad walking on Harbor Bay Parkway. I stopped to talk to him for a minute. He smiled from ear to ear when he realized it was me. I guess Dad has decided to get serious about his weight (205 pounds) and do something about it. I was happy to see that he was taking this long walk. After our brief talk I continued on the journey to Lake Chabot.

I rolled my tongue at a few people during the ride and I think it phased their day—in a good way (especially the blond cyclist that was going around the Lake).

I saw two little twin boys who were so cute. Little did I know at the time of riding that Mike Miller and I would be dancing with two twin girls from Danville that very evening! They weren’t all that cute.

After my ride and during my ride a thought crossed my mind.

‘If I ever got killed riding my bike I would want everyone to know that at the moment before the collision I would be thinking, “Oh My God…No No No!” However, just before the collision I had and have had the greatest of greatest feelings while riding my bike. Death on my bike would hurt (most definitely) but once it was over it will have been my Joy Ride to (Death) the End. My spirit will surely live on—as well as my memorabilia. Things tend to last a long time.'

I still want to start my People File. I will do it. I can even will a personal item to each person as instructed within each file. What a great idea.

Mom and Dad came over to my pad while I was riding my bike. Mom made my place all the more ‘spic and span’. She loves doing it. I love her thoughtfulness for doing so.

Mike Miller and his friend, Greg Manachevitz called and we were all going to go out. I had previously telephoned Paloma but she did not return my call while I was at home. When I tried calling her again she was not at home.

Mike Miller drove Greg to some overweight girls’ house in Oakland on 8th Avenue. Mike and I met her seventeen year old sister. They had a 5th grade chubby brother, too. He reminded me of me when I was that age.

Mike and I ended up leaving and ate at NIKKO’s in San Francisco on Van Ness. We walked by the Hard Rock Café but we didn’t get in the ridiculous line. It was hard finding a parking space. I was happy that Mike was doing the driving for a change. We cruised around the Kabuki Club and then headed over to Barnaby’s. I enjoyed one Long-Island Iced-Tea and I Madras cocktail. We had a good time hanging out there. We met some twin girls from Danville and danced with them. Though I like Mike a bit more than I should—we always have a good time when we go out.

On our way home some idiot went through a red light illegally. I am really glad that Mike went by his instincts and did not “GO” on the green light or we both may have been “gone” at that very instant.

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The Massive Obesity Epidemic

The world is deceptive, it looks so solid, yet people can leave it so abruptly.
-Morag Joss
"Half-Broken Things"

As a follow-up to my recent MSG: The Danger Zone BLOG I came across this article from a very dear friend (below) that I had to share with all of you today. Think twice about what you put in your mouth.

“If you can’t pick it, don’t eat it.” (Meaning if you cannot pick it from a tree or under the ground: vegetables are cool.) Or at least be moderate in what you have usually been eating. It’s not an easy task to avoid MSG.

Here is an excerpt of an article that was sent to me by a dear friend, Hanne Reid, in British Columbia, Canada. There are references that defend the claims:

MSG (a slow poison)

The food additive MSG (Mono-Sodium Glutamate) is a slow poison. MSG hides behind 25 or more names, such as Natural Flavoring." MSG is even in your favorite coffee from Tim Horton's and Starbucks coffee shops!

I wondered if there could be an actual chemical causing the massive obesity epidemic, and so did a friend of mine, John Erb. He was a research assistant at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, and spent years working for the government. He made an amazing discovery while going through scientific journals for a book he was writing called The Slow Poisoning of America.

In hundreds of studies around the world, scientists were creating obese mice and rats to use in diet or diabetes test studies. No strain of rat or mice is naturally obese, so scientists have to create them. They make these creatures morbidly obese by injecting them with MSG when they are first born. The MSG triples the amount of insulin the pancreas creates, causing rats (and perhaps humans) to become obese. They even have a name for the fat rodents they create: "MSG-Treated Rats."

When I heard this, I was shocked. I went into my kitchen and checked the cupboards and the refrigerator. MSG was in everything: Campbell soup, the Hostess Doritos, the Lays flavored potato chips, Top Ramen, Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper, Heinz canned gravy, Swanson frozen prepared meals, and Kraft salad dressings, especially the "healthy low-fat" ones. The items that didn't have MSG marked on the product label had something called "Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein," which is just another name
for Monosodium Glutamate.

It was shocking to see just how many of the foods we feed our children everyday are filled with this stuff. MSG is hidden under many different names in order to fool those who read the ingredient list, so that they don't catch on. (Other names for MSG are "Accent, "Aginomoto," "Natural Meat Tenderizer," etc.)

But it didn't stop there. When our family went out to eat, we started asking at the restaurants what menu items contained MSG. Many employees, even the managers, swore they didn't use MSG. But when we ask for the ingredient list, which they grudgingly provided, sure enough, MSG and Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein were everywhere.

Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, every restaurant -- even the sit-down eateries like TGIF, Chili's, Applebee's, and Denny's -- use MSG in abundance. Kentucky Fried Chicken seemed to be the WORST offender: MSG was in every chicken dish, salad dressing and gravy. No wonder I loved to eat that coating on the skin -- their secret spice was MSG!

So why is MSG in so many of the foods we eat? Is it a preservative, or a vitamin? Not according to my friend John Erb. In his book The Slow Poisoning of America, he said that MSG is added to food for the addictive effect it has on the human body.

Even the propaganda website sponsored by the food manufacturers lobby
group supporting MSG explains that the reason they add it to food is to make
people eat more. A study of the elderly showed that older people eat more of the foods that it is added to. The Glutamate Association lobbying group says eating more is a benefit to the elderly, but what does it do to the rest of us?

"Bet you can't eat just one," takes on a whole new meaning where MSG is concerned! And we wonder why the nation is overweight!

MSG manufacturers themselves admit that it addicts people to their products. It makes people choose their product over others, and makes people eat more of it than they would if MSG wasn't added.

Not only is MSG scientifically proven to cause obesity, it is an addictive substance. Since its introduction into the American food supply fifty years ago, MSG has been added in larger and larger doses to the pre-packaged meals, soups, snacks, and fast foods we are tempted to eat every day.

The FDA has set no limits on how much of it can be added to food. They claim it's safe to eat in any amount. Many more of the studies mentioned in John Erb's book link MSG to diabetes, migraines and headaches, autism, ADHD, and even Alzheimer's. So what can we do to stop the food manufactures from dumping this fattening and addictive MSG into our food supply and causing the obesity epidemic we now see?

Several months ago, John Erb took his book and his concerns to one of
the highest government health officials in Canada. While he was sitting in
the government office, the official told him, "Sure, I know how bad MSG is.
I wouldn't touch the stuff." But this top-level government official refuses
to tell the public what he knows.

The big media doesn't want to tell the public either, fearing issues
with their advertisers. It seems that the fallout on the fast food industry
may hurt their profit margin. The food producers and restaurants have been
addicting us to their products for years, and now we are paying the price
for it. Our children should not be cursed with obesity caused by an addictive food additive.

But what can I do about it? I'm just one voice! What can I do to stop the poisoning of our children, while our governments are insuring financial protection for the industry that is poisoning us?

This message is going out to everyone I know in an attempt to tell you the truth that the corporate-owned politicians and media won't tell you. The best way you can help to save yourself and your children from this drug-induced epidemic is to forward this article to everyone. With any luck, it will circle the globe before politicians can pass the legislation protecting those who are poisoning us.

The food industry learned a lot from the tobacco industry. Imagine if
big tobacco had a bill like this in place before someone blew the whistle on
nicotine?

If you are one of the few who can still believe that MSG is good for
us and you don't believe what John Erb has to say, see for yourself. Go to
the National Library of Medicine at www.pubmed.com. Type in the words "MSG Obese" and read a few of the 115 medical studies that appear.

We the public do not want to be rats in one giant experiment and we
do not approve of food that makes us into a nation of obese, lethargic, addicted sheep, feeding the food industry's bottom line while
waiting for the heart transplant, the diabetic-induced amputation,
blindness, or other obesity-induced, life-threatening disorders.

With your help we can put an end to this poison.
Do your part in sending this message out by word of mouth, e-mail, or by
distribution of this printout to your friends all over the world and stop
this "Slow Poisoning of Mankind" by the packaged food industry.

Blowing the whistle on MSG is our responsibility, so get the word out.
Be extra vigilant in checking labels from now on.

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 26, 1984
Wednesday
Paloma did call last night.
“Some photographer at the fitness center wants to take pictures of me,” Paloma said in her sexy French accent.
“What did you say?”

She explained how she shunned him off in her own cute way. I, myself, would love to take some photographic shots of her…actually!

I gave my usual sperm donation today but there was still no word on positive pregnancy results. Time will tell…again, I guess. I still have my recurring appointment on Wednesday. I can use the money—even if it’s pocket change. It will pay for lunch and the toll rides into the City. Laughter.

Lunch was fun with Bobbie, Pat and I as we went for the Ambrosia New Potato Salad at Emporium, followed by yogurt for dessert.

After work I made my sperm donation as mentioned previously and then went cycling along Shoreline Drive. Who do I run into? Of course, I see Linda Nannizzi ride past on her bike in the opposite direction. I did a simple nod as she went by. I rode only from 6:30PM to 7:10PM. I began to wonder how school was treating Linda these days.

I did not call Paloma today even though I said I would. She’s probably at her Hilltop Fitness Center having the bodybuilders ‘spot her’ anyway.

Christmastime is upon us. I already noticed the signs of it while at Emporium today.

I had a good time reading Bobbie’s EROTICA book today.

It was mind boggling to learn the PREMIS/LAC calling business features today on top of everything else we’ve learned. Tomorrow is the big ‘Business Office’ day.

I picked up my pictures tonight. The reprints from the slides and pictures of Wayne, Paul and Ashley totaled twenty-six dollars. Ouch! It’s time to get serious. I need to save my bucks and pay and clear those damn bills of mine. My goal is to get (and have) it together by March 1985.

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The Beauty of BING

What happens to all the things you might say or want to say, but don't?

Well, they don't lie about in your head indefinitely waiting to be let out. For a time they may stay there quite patiently, but then they shuffle off and fade until you can't locate them anymore, and you realize they're not coming back. By then you're past caring.
-Morag Joss
"Half-Broken Things"

PHOTO: Kiera Knightley,
Blu-Ray, "The Edge of Love"
as photographed from our new Ultra-Slim SAMSUNG TV screen

I am really beginning to LOVE it at www.BING.com

You simply go to the site and CLICK on SHOPPING and then CLICK on ‘Your cash back account’ to register for FREE. When you buy stuff by using BING as your 'starting point' you can only earn up to $2500 in savings every calendar year.

They make it so EASY, too. Check it out and be sure to compare prices and look for and "CLICK ON" the BING Cash back option. I know where I plan to be doing a lot of my holiday shopping this year.

I am a little late on the BING bandwagon myself. I just made my first two purchases:
1) a ‘personalized throw blanket’ gift purchase for a charming little girl and
2) a ‘nose and ear trimmer’ for myself.
What can I say? It’s terrible when one starts to grow hair in the nose and ears
…but ‘Thank God’ for good grooming.

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 10, 1984
Monday

Chris Cordellos and I found Paula’s house. Paula is Chris’ sister. She lives in Venice, CA and we went to visit her today. She was ecstatic and surprised to see Chris. We stayed with her for a few hours, conversing in her living room. It really smelled like “Stanley”, her dog. It was such a grotesque odor! How do people live this way? I was so happy to get some fresh ocean air afterwards.

During the day Chris and I ventured out to Santa Monica Beach to lie out and ‘catch some rays’. We sort of tried to catch up on much needed sleep (or tried to). There were a lot of kids on the beach because it was a holiday (Admission Day). It was pretty nice at the beach in Santa Monica despite the cloudy overcast moments.

After our ‘laying out’ long enough we went over to SUPERCUTS. We both got our respective haircuts and it cooled us off a bit.

We drove into West Hollywood and browsed at the International Male clothing store. We both drooled at things that were simply not affordable.

We stopped at SAFEWAY for refreshments and it was not long before our cranberry juice and Coca-Cola got very HOT. Too bad we didn’t have an ice-maker in the car. That just might be a useful invention.

We returned to Paula’s pad at about 5:30PM and met her ‘roommate’. She was what we described as an ‘old maid’ with dirty blond hair. She was very nice but so inquisitive. She wanted to know all about us.
'What do you do Chris?'
'And what do you do, Michael?'
It went on and on like that with all sorts of questions like where we grew up, how long did you live there, what next, etc.

Paula dressed up a bit and we accompanied her to visit a few of her ‘burn out’ friends. Then Chris and I escaped to Griffith Park to check out the Los Angeles views. I also played chauffeur into Hollywood. We ate Mexican Food near the Grumman’s Chinese Theater. It was very tourist-like walking around Hollywood Boulevard, so that was okay. We felt tired after a while and headed back to Paula’s.

We foolishly slept in Paula’s backyard that evening even though it was sprinkling (from a sprinkler on the other side of her fence). The lawn was wet. Suddenly all of these mosquitoes quietly appeared. It was murder (for me). Mosquitoes adore me. I had to get out of there and transported myself to my car for hopeful sleep. What a crazy vacation escape! Chris found the mosquitoes disruptive as well and slept in his sisters’ car after he realized my good idea. I actually went to Paula’s car later but could not stand the mosquitoes (or Stanley the dog fleas???) that were inside her car! I immediately left that scenario and returned to the back seat of my car. Oh what a night…I could easily change the words to that song...
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=oh+what+a+night%2C+four+seasons&qs=n&docid=1209971245833&mid=5C47D0ECEB1AE0E9C51E5C47D0ECEB1AE0E9C51E&FORM=VIVR2#

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Don't Misunderstand Me

I want to explain, because it is suddenly extremely urgent and important that, in the end, we are not misunderstood.
-Morag Joss
in the book "Half Broken Things"

There was another song I heard repeatedly while driving along in France and Spain in May 2009 that caught my ear. It is called 'World, Hold On' and I share the tune with you today. It has a special beat while it reminds us all to brace ourselves and 'open up your heart' to what you really feel.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=world+hold+on+lyrics&docid=872954659610&mid=1E0B4C6A76FE1B4CCFE71E0B4C6A76FE1B4CCFE7&FORM=VIVR5

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 5, 1984
Thursday

I have only one more workday in Downtown Oakland!

I telephoned Frank Vasconcellos on my lunch break because I had no plans at lunchtime. Frank had said he would come over to visit tonight. I had forgotten about that.

I rushed home after work and had a quick light bite at mom’s place.

At about 6:15PM Frank called from the Fruitvale BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) station where I picked him up (of course). I introduced Frank to my pad here at: 3348 Solomon Lane. He seemed rather impressed with the townhouse but did not talk about it much. I think he wanted to 'move in'. We decided to go to the Red Robin in San Leandro for a drink. I had an avocado burger and a melon ball. Frank enjoyed a banana milkshake.

We went for a ride into the Hayward Hills and we caught up on each others’ latest “goings on”. It was fun because we laughed a lot about nonsense. I drove Frank home where I had a glass of water and was cordially introduced to his mother and sister.

Frank told me he was having some trouble with some new guy named Carlos. Earlier in the evening I had fun reading him old entry excerpts from my journal/diary. He liked hearing the parts about him from our old times. The June 1983 parts from when we had first met were fascinating to him.

I came home and crashed on my bed for a while. I called Mary (Danny’s roommate) and was speaking to her when my call waiting interrupted. It was Danny Garcia calling me from San Jose, California.
“You won’t believe it. I placed eighth and did not make the finals,” Danny said in a sad, monotone voice.
I could tell Danny was feeling down. I tried to encourage him as he seemed to quickly ‘get over it’.
“Listen why don’t you come over tomorrow?” Danny asked.
“Okay,” I said happily, “That’s a great idea”.

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