Three Types of Friends

There are three types of friends:
Those like food, without which you cannot live;
Those like medicine, which you need occasionally;
And Those like an illness, which you never want.
-Solomon Ibn Gabirol (1021-1058)
Hebrew poet,
aphorist

An aphorist is someone who formulates aphorisms or who repeats aphorisms.

An aphorism is a short, concise and significant instructive saying.


Twenty-five years ago today:

October 12, 1984
Friday

Another day at the SDC (Sales Development Center) and things, words, story lines are all beginning to develop.

I sat at Earl’s desk today. Earl is in my section. Earl was not in the office, so I took calls from his desk. Barbara Reynolds and Kent Wood had floating holidays today. Joe is still on vacation. Dolores and Bobbie both got E-time without pay. I was the only one left in the transition section. I sat next to a guy named Hal and near Margaret Lai. Margaret seems to know a lot. I took more orders today than ever before. I had one Disconnect, one New Connect, one T & F and RCF, one Change Order and one Record Order.

Hot Dogs were prepared for lunch for the entire office today. It’s all part of the morale and camaraderie game. The hot dogs were good though! That’s one nice freebie treat.
PHOTO: Left to Right-Carl, Hank, Michael
Elizabeth Center (pink), ?, Joe, ?, Earl, ?

Karyn Kossoff took E-Time as well. I was to meet them all at Barnaby’s for drinks later. It turned out to be one very interesting evening. I got the feeling that a lot of people showed up there because I was introduced in the Office General Information File as loving to go there. Maybe not…who knows? Regardless, Colleen, the Supervisor, was there. She had a Perrier and an Irish Coffee. She’s nice, but…
Michelle Falls was there. She had an acne problem on her cheeks because you can see the after effects. She was born in England and she is nice, too. Her eyes are very spooky.

Lee Chandler made a late arrival and he and Colleen left together (they’re the two managers, so it was understandable). I did not really get to talk to them much.

Elizabeth Center (who is in my group) and I arrived together. She let me join her in her new Impulse automobile. I happened to notice that Michelle Falls had a nice black Ferraro car, too. Whoa! I danced with Michelle, Denise (AT&T gal and good friends with Ryan and Ron), Karyn and Elizabeth.

Fernando was there but he left early. Ron was asking me questions about Fernando, wanting to know more about his identity and role at the office. Linda left early because she had to drive to Fresno. She is leaving the office on Wednesday for good. Her husband is a coach and has a new job in Fresno. She is ready to scream about having to leave.

I spoke to Hank quite a bit. We spoke of earthquakes and each others’ feelings when one is close to death. I used my almost drowning incident before my 21st Birthday as an example.
PHOTO: While in a raft, the day I almost drowned
Sandy Renk, Michael J Armijo
May 25, 1980, American River, Sacramento

I am sure now that Hank is attracted to me because he grabbed my crotch area when we all crammed into the elevator. That kind of ‘blew me away’. I think Ron and Ryan have some sort of attraction for me, too. I often hear those little snide whispering remarks. I can’t help but feel it’s about me at times because I get ‘the look’. There was one instance when Ron was mentioning voyeurs (people who enjoy watching others have sex).
“I’d like to be a voyeur,” I said.
“You should watch Ryan and me,” Ron said.
Ryan followed-up by saying, “We both once put an ad in the paper about two blond guys, inviting voyeurs to observe. Some fellas would answer the ad and jack off as they got into it.”
I was amazed to say the least. I thought my ‘I’d like to be a voyeur’ line would shock them but they shocked me right back! They were all drunk and on ‘who knows what’. Ryan gently placed his shoe near Tom’s rear end. Tom turned around in surprise.
“He enjoyed it,” I whispered in Ryan’s ear.
Ryan liked that comment coming from me. I could tell.

The mishap of the evening was when I saw Karyn on Tom’s lap. Then on another lap and another lap. Ron was on Elizabeth’s lap and vice versa. I was “invited” to get on Patty Reid’s lap. After a while, I wanted “OFF”. Then Patty wanted a kiss ‘Bye-Bye’, so I gave her a peck. She grabbed my neck and bit my lip! Ugh! It was not good. I then heard Karyn say, “I’m going to vomit!”
I observed Ron trying to control Karyn behind a nearby wall.

“Karyn is head over heels over you from the way she reacted,” Ron said.
I felt gross about kissing Patty (Fat Lard Lady) but I was in a drunkard stupor predicament. This is exactly how I explained it to Karyn (because it was true).
“I’ll never let you forget it,” Karyn said in an elevated non-Pebbles voice.
I thought, “That’s all I need…a reminder of that!”
PHOTO: Karyn Kossoff, 1984


By 9PM the group had diminished to Tom Kidwell, Ron Shelly, Elizabeth Center, Karyn Kossoff, Michelle Falls, Ryan Hargrave, Hank and I. We decided to all meet at Ryan’s apartment.

Karyn, Elizabeth, Michelle, Tom and I arrived before Ryan and Ron did. Karyn and I didn’t want to chance it like the last time, so we left via taxi and then via BART.
I was in bed alone by midnight or so.

I forgot another significant conversation of the day between myself and Patrick Woolridge. It was his last day in the SDC. He’ll be an ASR (Account Sales Representative) which is a managerial position but with not all that much more money. He wants to start his own communications consulting business with some other chap named Travis.
“I have a lot of recurring clients now,” Patrick explained.
Patrick turned out to be quite informative. He earned a 'simpatico' nod in my book.
“I would be out and into Directory Yellow Page Sales by January if I were you,” Patrick advised.
“I don’t know about that but that would be great!”
“Rene’s lover recently made Assistant Manager in Directory,” Patrick added.
I remembered meeting Rene’s lover at Irene’s party.
“I’d make a few phone calls to see what he could do because he knows a lot of people in Directory Sales and other departments. And try and get in close with Ethel because she is knowledgeable with a lot of people. She’ll help you as long as you help her. She’s getting older and is a bit worried about her place in the company.”

Patrick went on to explain that he has reassured Ethel that she’s the “Mother” of the office. Now I want to get in good with Ethel. I think I will get along with most everyone as long as I don’t judge tightly against any one.

I do want Directory Sales so bad. I now hope that Patrick might be able to pull strings for me.
“With your looks, smile and dress you can get into any choice department.”
Patrick was probably a bit sloshed when he made that comment. In either case, if he can make a move for me by January 1985, then Hurrah!

I received a surprise phone call from Helen Wong.
“I have a tentative Big Sale order for some Electronics firm to pass on to you,” Helen said. She also added that her condo is on hold temporarily.
“Do you think I can stay with you for a few days?”
“Sure.”

I am all for Helen staying over. I can just imagine the possible meals she’d make. She is fun. She may be moving in here (temporarily) on Sunday, October 14.

Read More

The Cocktail Party: London

“I suppose I was naïve to think in that first rush of feeling I had for you that it could all come right
simply because I wanted it so much.”
-Ian McEwan
‘Enduring Love’

I was fortunate on my post-50th Birthday as dear friends (Lord John Eatwell and Lady Susan Digby-Eatwell) sponsored and arranged for a cocktail party on my behalf in their Chelsea, London flat on June 3, 2009. I took portraits photos of the guests and ‘dear friends’ that were in attendance.

The guest list:
Alan Freiman, Marina Del Rey, CA
Lord John Eatwell & Lady Suzi Digby-Eatwell, Cambridge, England
Chris Davis, New Castle, England
Nigel & Pompi Parry, Salisbury, England
Tim and Janet Lance-Hughes, Hay-On-Wye, England
Bret Lopez and Mimi deBlasio, Napa Valley, CA
John & Marion Leghorn, Birmingham, England
Ed Digby & Jess, London, England
Ali Digby, Manchester, England
Marie-Paule Michel, Geneva, Switzerland
Herb Braha, Playa Del Rey, CA
Dov & Zoe Hoenig, London, England
Marcia Firesten, Los Angeles, CA

Suzi Digby arranged for her pastry chef to make me a Birthday cake in the form of a suitcase with places like ‘New York’, ‘Paris’, ‘London’, 'L.A.' and ‘Napa Valley’ used as frosting decor. And I thought this was the only cake I was going to have:
http://007gentleman.blogspot.com/2009/06/50th-birthday-dinner-in-barcelona-spain.html

I was overwhelmed. It was too lovely. I kept sipping Champagne, thinking my Birthday was over days ago. Fun things just kept happening non-stop. It was the sweetest party. We were all able to mingle easily amongst each other. Chris Davis, a fellow photographer friend, took these great photos during the venue:








You may view more of Chris Davis' dynamic photography at this site:http://www.redbubble.com/people/specular

Twenty-five years ago today:
July 13, 1984
Friday

Well, it was six months ago today that I met Chris Cordellos and we are ‘sort of’ still good buddies. That’s great.

I woke up this morning and have been very good about doing 50 pushups and 100 half-sit ups each morning. Now I’m off to eat pancakes at mom’s house. Then I plan to go bike the rest of the day (until 3PM when I go to The Alameda Courthouse to see good ole Charlie Brown again.

I ended up spending more time with mom than I expected. I tagged along with her to see Grandma (in my car with the convertible top down). The weather has been so fine during this summer breeze month.

I started to go biking but I ended up with a flat tire, so I took it into the Alameda Bike Shop on Park Street. Mom and Dad dropped me off at the Alameda Courthouse at 3PM. I met with Charlie Brown at about 3:30PM and he set it up so that I could go to Traffic School. I still had to pay a $10.00 Court fee and then $15.00 for the class. I chose to take the Traffic School class tomorrow (July 14th) just so I can get it all over with!

Mom and Dad rented two movies (CUJO and TOOTSIE), so I watched it with them until it was suddenly midnight. I headed home and fell fast asleep in hopes that no rabid ‘Cujo’ dogs would enter my dreams.

Read More

You're So Vain

“It’s funny how old friends
always make you think.”
-as heard while watching
VANITIES, A New Musical

Do you remember that song by Carly Simon called “You’re So Vain”?
Yes, me too. I remember singing to it in the early 1970s.
I never really saw myself as vain but I liked that part when she sang the part that goes...
‘I bet you think this song is about you…don’t you…don’t ya’.
Tell me, did you think that song was about you?
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you're+so+vain&docid=860538929728&mid=55E7257B6A2A2C44DF0655E7257B6A2A2C44DF06&FORM=VIVR17
Well today’s blog is not about YOU being so vain but the lyrics do have some implications.


‘I Can’t Imagine’ is one of the songs you’ll hear while watching the new musical, VANITIES, playing at the Second Stage in New York City. I can’t imagine a more perfect show for any woman to see with two of her old high-school chums. It’s a bit ‘chickee-flickee’ but there are four scenes that will capture your attention.

Scene I: It is Autumn 1963 in a small Texas town with three high school cheerleaders, Mary, JoAnn, and Cathy acting like typical teens. Mary is the blond played by Lauren Kennedy, a very experienced stage actress. She actually has a website: http://www.laurenkennedy.com/

JoAnn is the brunette played by Sarah Stiles and has her TWITTER following via her ID: lulubellestiles.

Cathy is the redhead played by Anneliese Van Der Pol who has appeared in 100 episodes of the popular Disney Channel show ‘That’s So Raven’ as Chelsea Daniels.

Scene II: Fast forward to Spring 1968 at a sorority house in a Dallas, Texas college town. These three same longtime girlfriends are doing their typical routine of ‘finding themselves’. Mary decides on a career as an ‘interior decorator’. JoAnn has randomly ended up as a Music major but really wants to be a married homemaker. Cathy is getting her degree in Physical Education.

Scene III: This is my favorite ‘Tea Party Reunion’ scene that takes place on a penthouse terrace in the Summer of 1974. It shows the ‘test of time’ and how the three young women have grown apart in varied directions.
“I should have known you’d become one of those liberated women,” says JoAnn, the Connecticut homemaker to Mary, the erotic Art Gallery owner with the promiscuous sexual appetite.
Cathy has left her P.E. teaching position as she has met a wealthy man (who owns the Penthouse) and has encouraged her to continue the pursuit of ‘finding herself’. Dramatic fireworks and dialogue add sizzle and sadness to their friendship in this scene.

Scene IV: Finally, it is Winter many years later in that small town of Texas. Mary’s mother had died and the three girls appear reunited and ‘forgiving’ at the funeral. A full circle of memories from their childhood suddenly have more significance. Their love for each other emerges again in a ‘feel good’ kind of way. The chemistry between these three is great. I have a feeling we will see more of these talented ladies 'as time goes by'. Watch n' see. I have a good EYE.

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 11, 1984
Wednesday

The current situation that Barbara and I have is so laid back. We worked a bit on calling card crap and finished up on Lee Chandler’s special project. Then Barbara and I took a long hour and a half lunch. This time we ate at some Vie de France Restaurant which was quite good. The day passed quickly. In fact, the days go by so very fast in The City. The big production job of my day was Xeroxing 160 copies for Lee Chandler!

I arrived home to a surprise. I receive my traffic notice, so I immediately drove into Central Alameda to see Charlie Brown again. I still cannot believe his name is Charlie Brown! This time the office had just closed. Charlie urged me to return to the office a bit after 3PM on Friday. Luckily, I have Friday as a day off, so I will do it. What a pain!

I had another great bicycle ride this evening (just like yesterday).

Mom and Dad came by to visit me and helped to straighten up my pad a bit. They wanted to shampoo the rug in the living room area today (as they did in their home). Why not? When they left it was about 7:30PM and still daylight. You guessed it. I went bicycling again and I saw some very interesting faces (especially coming home in a car at the stop sign at Island Drive and Fir Avenue).

I was home by 9PM because I stopped over at mom and dad’s house. I just went straight to bed when I got home. No one called me. There were no calls from Danny or Chris, of course. Oh well, maybe they have and I am just not home when they call. Maybe I ought to get an answering service.

Surprise! I ended up seeing the 1981 EXCALIBUR movie with Suzy Miller.
I so loved that film!
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=excalibur&docid=687909831111&mid=ADC4021E1107D51B96AAADC4021E1107D51B96AA&FORM=VIVR23

Read More

The Model

"You have no idea what goes on inside me,
and as far as I know,
you've never even wondered."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

In the late 1980s I met a model named Dustin Nipper. She was tall, gorgeous and reminded me very much of an actress known as Morgan Brittany.

PHOTO: Morgan Brittany

She was a lot younger than I. She was about eighteen and I was around twenty-eight at the time.
She seemed more mature than the typical eighteen year old; whereby, I thought we made an 'eau de naturale' couple when we went out.

I remember meeting Dustin's dad (who reminded me of the actor, Perry King).

PHOTO: Perry King

She lived with her mother in Pleasanton, CA as her folks were divorced. Her mother was quite nice and attractive as well but it was a little bit uncomfortable going into Dustin’s bedroom and playing “kissy kissy”. It is still an unforgettable memory for me (and probably for her). They were 'great' kisses, after all.

When I would hear that classic tune by KRAFTWERK called ‘The Model’ I would think of Dustin. I loved pedaling my bike to that tune.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=kraftwerk%2C+the+model&docid=653196460434&mid=D593C439FC79F7E58DE8D593C439FC79F7E58DE8&FORM=VIVR

I never continued to see Dustin on a regular basis because I ended up moving to Los Angeles in October 1989 for career reasons. We wrote to one another a few times and our connection simply faded with time.

Fast-forward to the Internet age and Dustin had read some of my book reviews on Amazon.com. She managed to email me and we reconnected after many years. It was fun ‘catching up’ and learning that she was still living in the Northern California Bay Area with her husband.

PHOTO: At 'IL VICOLO' Ristorante,
Paris, France

Alan and I met her and her husband, Amit, in Downtown Napa for lunch one day a year or so ago. Thanks to email and FACEBOOK we keep in touch more regularly.

Coincidentally, we learned that Dustin and her husband, Amit Bhatnagar, were planning a trip to Europe at the same time we were. We managed to arrange a dinner together in PARIS at a place called IL VICOLO (34, Rue Mazarine, 75006, Paris). The Italian wine was just what we all needed after the process of getting settled after the long flight. They had flown in from San Francisco (versus our New York), so they had a few more hours of adjustment challenge.

We ventured on to Spain while they explored Rome, Italy. I know they had as great a time as we did.

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 14, 1984
Thursday

Well, I have been falling behind with writing in my journal. It is time to play ‘catch up’. Let’s see if I can recall all the way back to Thursday (as it is Sunday now). I am lying out on the Alameda South Shore Beach right now, feeling the good sun and listening to tunes.

I know I went to work on Thursday, June 14th. I believe Helen Wong brought lunch and we ate at the cafeteria with Cedric Green.

After work I rode my bike, too, of course. I remember dropping by to give Sherri some mail that she received at the Cook Lane townhouse address. It was mail about a Baby Pageant. I guess Ashley is going to be in her first Baby Beauty Pageant. Sherri gave me some tickets to sell (at my office) for votes for Ashley (for The Baby Pageant 1984, Queen of Diablo Valley).
“I will try and sell the whole book for you,” I said excitedly.

I received a package from International Male (my black night shirt, Moroccan madras shorts and underwear arrived).

Once home I was rather bummed out. I guess with Chris away I did not really want to go out ‘on my own’. So, I turned in early on a Thursday night.

Read More

The Online People Experiment

"I didn't know they made them like him any more."
-Nial Kent in his novel
"The Divided Path"

I remember attending Sacramento State University in the early 1980s and my English professor required an intensive research 'term paper' of me and my classmates. I had to provide detailed proof of my research using an in-depth survey questionnaire that I had to design, implement, write and re-write. I went about town interviewing people on my subject. The subject I chose was “Friendship Formation”. It was fascinating for me to understand ‘mutuality’. Mutuality, as an example, is when you are walking down the street and a stranger has eye contact or manages a smile your way. This is a form of ‘mutuality’. It means that you connected and that this minor incident had the potential of a friendship forming.

Allow me now to fast forward to the beginnings of the social communications Internet age when I remember my entry and experience into the online social-networking world. I learned of www.MySpace.com. In early 2004 I joined MySpace primarily as a way to communicate effectively with my five nieces and one nephew. They were actively using the MySpace website.

“What a great way to keep tabs and keep in touch with my family and a few select friends,” I thought.
I designed my MySpace profile page with some photos of family, a few movies that I loved like TITANIC, RUN LOLA RUN and DAS EXPERIMENT. I felt comfortable with the site but did NOT allow it to overtake my life (yet).

Being the ‘Gemini Twin’ that I am I have always had a fascination with Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde; The Portrait of Dorian Gray and cult twin movies like Margot Kidder’s “SISTERS” or “TWIN FALLS IDAHO”. I thought up an idea for a psychological cyber-experiment to create a second identity on MySpace.

I was enamored and impressed by some portraits I stumbled upon of a male French model in the annual “Dieux du Stade” 2004 calendar.

The term ‘Dieux du Stade’ translated in English is Gods of the Stadium. The highly popular calendar was first published in 2001, featuring photographs of members of the Stade Francais, a domestic French rugby team. In more recent years, players from other rugby union clubs and athletes from other sports have also been included. I took notice of former Mister France 2003 (Frederic Deltour) in the 2004 calendar and decided to use his image as my ‘second identity’ in my very own O.P.E. (Online People Experiment).

I chose this photo of Frederic and became him ‘in a cyber sort of way’. You have to admit that he’s the perfect “Ken Doll” type. I wondered how people would react to him and what they would say, how they would make conversation.

I suddenly had about 120 friends that I had never met face-to-face. They sent me private messages and wanted to see more photos of me (Frederic). I replied as myself but they thought I was really Frederic. I even included my “real” self as one of his friends.

One fellow, Chad (a hairstylist) in Texas sent me shampoo samples, gel, conditioners, mousse and other hair care products. I had spread a ‘white lie’ as Frederic, saying that he was coming to Los Angeles to see his good friend (me). Chad sent these products to my address in Los Angeles.

Another fellow drew a sketch of Frederic that was utterly amazing. I still have it. It's an amazing likeness and I plan to give it to Frederic eventually.

Another fan who was a registered nurse was “so-in-love” with Frederic that she kept hoping he would come to visit her in San Diego. The women all loved Frederic, flirting and asking about life in Paris. It did not matter which gender was infatuated with Frederic as all of them were hopeful to meet him one day.

I spent my weekends replying to most of the messages in a cordial and friendly way. I realized after a few months that it was getting out of hand. My partner thought I was ‘crazy’. Of course, I kept explaining that it was my very own psychological study of people out there that are infatuated with the Internet and social-networking. I started to feel deceitful and realized it had to come to an end. I beleive I had learned enough.

In order to remedy the matter I did some web ‘soul searching’ and miraculously found an authentic email address to the “real” Frederic. He replied back to me! I tried to explain to Frederic what I had done and how he has a major fan base here in the USA. I wanted him to take over the reins of this MySpace account; however, he never did so. He was too busy with modeling assignments and other goings on. His language skills in English were also somewhat limited at the time. I finally ended up deleting the MySpace account (much to the sadness of his many deceived fans). I am sure I unintentionally broke a few hearts.

I learned a number of lessons but there are a few significant ones:
Many people are infatuated with looks (without really knowing a personality).
Some people are ‘true to the heart’ and it is never good to continue the act of deception.
I am glad I did the study and did not prolong it.
The die-hards were told the truth. A few of them remain my friend to this day.

The beautiful benefit is that several years have passed and my friendship with Frederic has grown and continues to this day. We communicate ‘off and on’ via email.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog when I share my recent meeting with Frederic in Paris, France.

Twenty-five years ago today:

Monday,
June 11, 1984

I slept until 8AM or so. I had extra time. I had a special trial study ‘Business Service Center’ San Francisco event to attend at 10AM. I met Barbara Reynolds there. The test was a cinch (even though we did not finish all of the questions). The primary score was based on the research we completed. And so, it was no “big deal”.

Barbara and I had lunch on Market Street on some public steps near the Hyatt Regency Hotel. I got a few random looks. Was it the white leather tie that I was wearing?


Barbara and I went to visit our future ‘Business Service Center’ workplace. It seemed like such a large environment with so many service representatives and account managers. We both took BART back to Downtown Oakland and had a 3PM meeting. We only had to take customer calls from 4pm to 5pm. What a freebie day.

I intended on a good bike ride after work but I ate leftover chicken and felt lazy. I would lie down for a while and soon decided to give Frank Vasconcellos a phone call. His line was busy. I left with a roll of film that needed developing. A lot of my prints came out so good. I was so proud. I was especially proud of my niece, Ashley, the perfect model.

I bought about four or five cassette tapes. I also bought a bicycle photo frame that I thought was fun. I bought a neat greeting card of two unicycles that merged to make a double bicycle. The copy in the card stressed “an extraordinary friendship”. I am unsure as to whom I will give this card. Or do I know who exactly deserves it? Yes.

In fact, I did telephone Chris Cordellos today at about 2:30PM. He was sleeping. His break was supposed to be over at 2PM, so I guess I called at the appropriate time. Chris announced that he is coming to the Bay Area once again (on Thursday). I get the honors of picking him up at the airport. Lucky me! Too bad I won’t be ‘moving in’ to the Solomon Lane townhouse yet.

Tony took John’s Residence Telephone Order ‘New Connect’ at the office today. The new telephone service on Cook Lane will be effective this Friday.
“I’m not moving in until next Tuesday, June 19th though,” John said.
And so…that’s “drag” news for me if you want to know the truth.

I took another BIKE L.A. 1984 Print poster to get framed along with mom’s print of the ‘Bowl of Fruit’ that she likes for her kitchen. The framed works will not be ready until Saturday because their protective covering machine is broken (at The Frame Store). And so…that’s another “drag”, but all is well otherwise.

Tonight I watched a 1981-television movie called “Angel Dusted” about a college kid that had a nervous breakdown because he was on PCP drugs, etc.
http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie/angel-dusted/?
It reminded me of me (in parts) despite the fact that while I was in college I took “NO” drugs whatsoever. When I was in college I was in a depressive state over failed relationships, loneliness and school grade pressures. I am so HAPPY now. I have such special friends like Barbara Reynolds, Salima Nasardeen-Hamilton, Suzy Miller, Michael Miller, Frank Vasconcellos and my extraordinary ‘one in a million pal’, Christopher.

Read More

The Mini-Reunion

"What is life but foolish desires and imperfect choices."
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"

PHOTO: Cyndy Whitmore-Davis, Michael J Armijo, Julie Roth at our mini-reunion dinner on February 20, 2009. Photo taken by Alan N. Freiman.

During the summer of 1970 my parents, two brothers and I moved away from '1447 16th Avenue' in Oakland, CA to '356 Magnolia Drive' in Alameda, CA. The first night of adjustment in our new home is easily remembered. My little brother, Johnny, asked the key question at only 7 years old.
"Mom when are we going home?" Johnny asked.
I laughed.
"We are home," mom said with a smile.

September 1970 approached and it was the beginning of 6th grade at Lincoln middle school. I didn't know any classmates and it was a public school. Besides kindergarten I had known only St. Anthony's Catholic School. My uniform days of gray pants, white shirt and maroon sweater were at an end. The freedom of 'free dress' was something I enjoyed, offering me free expression (even if bell bottoms seemed to be the fad of the times).

When I received my class picture for Barnard C. Livermore's 6th grade class I memorized the names of everyone in my class. I'm sure I had a crush on every girl in the class at some time or another. Two girls in the class were Cyndy Whitmore and Julie Roth. They'd been pals since 4th grade. Last night, I arranged a mini-reunion dinner. I hadn't seen Cyndy since the 10 year reunion. I met Julie for lunch in San Francisco sometime in the mid 1980's. It was a fun-filled evening of reminiscing, 'catching up', wine, dinner and spirits.

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 21, 1984
I called Chris Cordellos twice while at work. He is beginning to mean more to me now. I can't quite put my finger on the exact reason besides our mutual attraction.
I suggested to Chris the idea of seeing the new Nastassja Kinski flick on Thursday night. Paloma has not called me. We were supposed to see it together. I don't know?
Helen invited me to dinner but I had to decline. My layout and design was scheduled for tonight. I stopped for a nibble of a BBQ chicken dinner with my dad before I left for class. I am happy I did not play "hooky". It was a rewarding evening of creative learning. The California College of Arts & Crafts is a good school.
www.cca.edu/

John rented the film "Deliverance". I thought it was a dumb choice. I didn't like it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9R4t_Nwy5E
Sherri watched it, too. She gave me a bite of her pineapple-cherry missile popsicle stick. Yummy.

I called Chris just before bedtime. He is at such an indecisive point in his life. 'Should I move to Arcata, CA?' is his key question. He has made hints that he is leery of leaving me, knowing that distance always makes the heart grow fonder. But it can also make the heart forget (especially if someone more intriguing enters the picture). What am I writing here? Whatever Chris decides to do will be the right choice for him. I trust we shall always be friends. This reminds me that I want to try that restaurant in Walnut Creek called "Let's Be Friends".

Read More

A Night With 'Insignificant Others'

"When all seems insignificant I remember there's you."
--Jay Kuo

Last night was a wonder of fun, energy and delight while watching the San Francisco musical performance of "Insignificant Others". It was about five friends who move from other parts of the country to San Francisco to find love, adventure, friendship, hope and more. It was the closing night show. I can see it coming to New York or some other major city one day. It's a feel good kind of show. I loved the tunes "Beautiful", "So Many Things", "Tell Me Why", "Do People Just Move On?" and "Evolutionary". The writer, Jay Kuo, is clever. I look forward to more of his musical shows as he soon departs to New York City.

I was lucky to be around a number of very "significant" friends and family during my day and night in the City. It makes me want to venture out to San Francisco more often. I feel fortunate that when I reminisce back twenty-five years ago that many of the people I write about are still in my life. Of course some have come and gone and I wonder whatever happened to them...but they were in fact significant at the time...and who knows if they'll re-enter my life again one day.

Twenty-five years ago

Work was through in a flash. I arrived home and was just about to step into the shower when Jackie Woods telephoned. We talked only a couple of minutes. She said she'd call back after my shower but never did.

Frank Vasconcellos called and we talked a good while. My brother, John, stepped out to go to Safeway for groceries. Frank warned me against Bill Helbush.
"You might 'catch' something from that one," he said.
I laughed.
After I hung up the phone I became leery of my own laugh and the romantic incident with Bill. My tongue had some blisters which were irritating me. I had some small red spots that were itching but chalked it up to my occasional eczema (dry skin) during this season. I am hopeful the itch and irritation will pass soon. If not, I will have to try and cure myself and/or see a doctor. I fear herpes with all of the talk of how it has become so common. I have been bathing regularly. I love a bubble bath and appreciate them so much. I tend to feel so much cleaner. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

John returned home and we watch 'The Whiz Kids'. Soon John left to see Sherri and I hung out at home alone. 'Dynasty' was on and it was "the drama" to watch. I enjoyed my time alone and munched on a few of mom's M&M cookies, too.

Read More

Martini Techno-Theater Night

It is funny how a few degrees of separation can lead to new friends and laughter. If you had read my previous blog from a few days ago (Have You Had Your DNA Tested?) you would have read how my ancestral "DNA cousin" John Earl Spencer entered my life this year.

John resides in San Francisco, CA and he cyber-introduced (Is that a new word for wikipedia?) me to Jay Kuo who has become a mutual friend. Jay Kuo and I have been exchanging electronic mail messages over the last couple of months. Jay was a former commercial litigation attorney who chose to follow his passion into musical theater arts. He is a talented and accomplished composer, lyricist and producer with three finished musicals: Insignificant Others, Homeland, and Upwardly Mobile. He is currently working on two new projects that he plans to workshop and release in New York City or wherever the theater path will lead him. It is exciting to know that Jay plans to move to New York City in March 2009.

Jay has been in New York City over the last week and made a point to come by to meet myself and Alan. We arranged a cocktail meeting at our apartment in Tribeca last night. Jay brought along two of his good friends and business associates who were ever-so-friendly. We met Gregory Rae, a former software engineer with Google.com, and Lorenzo Thione, an entrepreneur, of which both have a passion for martini's and theater.

Gregory Rae grew up in Napa, California, so we touched up on our love of the Napa Valley. Gregory has been living in the Chelsea area of New York City for five years now and was a joy to get to know. Lorenzo Thione grew up in Milan, Italy. He speaks fluent Italian and one wouldn't know it. He must have been an A student in his English classes. Lorenzo was educated in Computer Engineering at the University of Texas in Austin. He was Founder and Product Architect of Powerset, Inc. a Natural Language Search company that was committed to delivering the next breakthrough revolution in web search. His company was recently sold to Microsoft for a decent amount of bucks.

Alan mixed his delicious apple martini's using the Russian vodka we received last July 2008 in St. Petersburg, Russia. The original Berentzen Apfel Korn schnapps liqueur from Germany was the magic elixir. These boys know how to drink us under the table. We couldn't join them for musical fun at SPLASH because we had an early morning meeting but we delighted in our martini techno-theater conversation.

We chatted up a storm about theater shows from West Side Story, Memphis, Billy Elliot, Gypsy and more to techno-talk on Google, Microsoft, Yahoo. We are delighted to join them again for the closing night gala of INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS on December 27, 2008 in San Francisco, CA.

It really is a joy to be random and spontaneous every now and then. Now I am hoping Lorenzo was not kidding with regard to his cooking skills. I want that home cooked 'cotoletta alla milanese' (heck...even his Italian-style pasta will do). Yummy!

Read More

Strangers May Cheer You Up

I remember working in the Financial District of San Francisco in the late 1980s. I was stopped at a stoplight and a strange woman approached me and said, "I hope this isn't being too forward, but I have to tell you that you look just fantastic in that suit." Okay...it may not have been those exact words but it was somewhat along those lines. It made me feel so happy for the rest of the day. I guess it made me happy for years and years (for that matter) because I still remember the moment. To this day, when a stranger gives me a random complement it does seem to mean more.

On Friday there was an article in the New York Times about the Christakis-Fowler study. This team of physician and social scientist at Harvard Medical school had previously published studies that concluded that obesity and quitting smoking are socially contagious. The new study in the Times on Friday concluded that 'Strangers may cheer you up'.

"There's a kind of an emotional quiet riot that occurs and takes on a life of its own, that people are unaware of," said Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis.

The article continued to report that a next-door neighbor's joy increased one's chance of being happy by 34 percent. This neighbor has to be seen regularly and be in physical and temporal proximity. The researchers found that Happiness has a shelf life. I thought that was funny given my recent blog entry about Happiness.
Social contacts were less important to happiness than some one's personal circumstances. It was advised that it is better to spread your happiness to people you know (because you will affect others they know and so forth).

Professor Fowler intentionally puts on his favorite song to soothe his mood when he gets home from work. This will make him happy and pass it on to his family (and everyone they know).

In a separate study of 1,700 FACEBOOK profiles. It was discovered that people smiling in their photographs had more FACEBOOK friends and that many of those friends were smiling. This leads me to the stranger I candidly photographed above on a New York City street. I am curious to know what you think? He is reading a book against a wall. Is he happy? Is he wishing someone will stop and say, "I read that book...good one!" Or is he just waiting on the sidelines for a friend. I would love to read a comment from you with your imaginative idea of the stranger pictured above. Or better yet...do you recall a stranger saying something nice that had an impact on you? Tell me if a stranger has ever cheered you up.

Read More