The Chalkboard Lesson III

Michael was afraid to move or breathe, but he allowed the curves of his body to melt into his best-friend, and they lay like spoons in a case.
-Nial Kent
“The Divided Path”

Kafka often made extensive use of a trait special to the German language allowing for long sentences that sometimes can span an entire page. Kafka's sentences then deliver an unexpected impact just before the full stop—that being the finalizing meaning and focus. This is achieved due to the construction of certain sentences in German which require that the verb be positioned at the end of the sentence. Such constructions cannot be duplicated in English, so it is up to the translator to provide the reader with the same effect found in the original text.

I am thankful I am not reading Kafka's original words that were written in German. The Complete Stories edition I have is entirely in English.

The second morning at the W-Hotel I wrote these thought provoking Kafka words from his unfinished book ‘Description of a Struggle’. It was the third 'Chalkboard Lesson':

I couldn’t afford to do much thinking
for I had to go on swimming to prevent myself from sinking too low.


Twenty-five years ago today:

August 25, 1984
Saturday

I woke up at 8:30 this morning. I woke up and ‘smelled the coffee’. I went straight to the Alameda Hospital to see mom. She felt a painful plastered feeling on her side. She looked pretty well, considering the realization that she had surgery. I was glad the worst was over. I left the hospital at 9:30AM or so because she was dozing off.

When I arrived home I was going to bike but I decided to go ahead and call Chris Cordellos.
“He hasn’t come home all night. I will give him the message that you called,” said Mrs. Cordellos.

Elisa Berney suddenly called me after I hung up the phone.
“I am taking Stephanie to the circus,” Elisa said. She went on to suggest I accompany her to the circus. She also invited me to dinner and a VCR flick for tonight. She was being extraordinarily thoughtful. I began to wonder if Bunny (her sister) had mentioned that we had bumped into one another. Maybe Elisa called so I wouldn’t feel ‘burned’ about that lunch date we were supposed to arrange some time ago.
“How about if I call you at four o’clock or so to let you know about the circus,” I answered.
I ended up not calling her because Suzy called thereafter and invited me to go to Carmel-by-the-Sea. It just sounded much more appealing. I agreed to go to Carmel but wondered what had ever happened to Chris.

I rode my bike to Suzy’s place and then we went in her new Celica to Carmel. She wanted to return some shoes at the Lloyds Shoe Store there. We had such a good time. We took a new route through winding roads via Watsonville and Gilroy. We listened to old tunes and new tunes on the radio during the scenic journey. We departed Alameda at noon and arrived in Carmel by 2PM. We saw a lot of Ferrari, Porsche, and Mercedes-Benz sports cars. I even noticed a gorgeous Aston-Martin, of course. There were Jaguars, too.

PHOTO: 1984-Sue Miller, Carmel, CA

We found a cute little place for Swedish pancakes and walked through the Downtown. We got a lot of ‘double-takes’ between the two of us. Suzy kept saying that they think we’re ‘Donny & Marie’. I laughed.
After the long extensive walkabout I decided to buy a new pair of shoes. Suzy and I decided to venture over to Monterey. Some lady took our picture with the neat scenic background of the boats at port. We saw big seals or sea lions. I took special notice of ‘Mike’s Seafood Restaurant’. I saw a cute monkey and two twin dogs, too.

PHOTO: 1984-Michael J Armijo, Monterey, CA

I was happy that Sue did not buy a $100 blouse or a $360 blouse. I wanted the white ultra-suede coat for $330…but let’s be serious! The prices were outrageous. We still had a good time. I saw a beautiful yellow Jaguar that I liked in Monterey (Yikes, maybe one day).

We left Monterey at 6PM and arrived in Alameda by 8PM. Then I rode my bike home from Sue’s apartment.

I immediately called my mom.
“Oh, I’ve been dozing off and on all day,” said Mom, “and Tony, Dad, John, Sherri and Ashley came to visit. Ashley’s hair is growing.”
I knew mom was coming back to her regular self after hearing those words.

Cedric Green called a few minutes later to apologize about the fact that I was not able to leave last night when I wanted.
“Oh, it’s okay,” I said, realizing how kind of a gesture it was for him to say this.
I was touched.

I gave Chris Cordellos a call and listened to him explain how his friend, Clay, had been slipped some ‘angel dust’ and went psychotic, yelling crazy things all night long.
“Elliot and I tried to calm him down and we almost had to take him to the hospital,” Chris said in an out-of-breath sort of way.
He did not take him to the hospital, but he went on to say that he and Clay went to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco today. It sounded as though he had a good time.
“I came over to your house and was going to wait for you but I decided to go on only a dollar of gas because I had no idea when you would be home,” Chris explained.
“You did?”
“Yeah, and Ed was in Martinez and wanted to do something so I made a date with Clay for Sunday night to see ‘Black Flag’, they’re a hardcore punk group. They’re playing at The Stone in the City,” Chris announced.

PHOTO: Black Flag group

I admit I was pretty upset because he was not making time for me throughout this entire weekend. He is supposed to be my best-friend. He made some haphazard statements about having spent a lot of time with me every time he comes down to the Bay Area. I only know that if we are best-friends then we would want to spend time with the “best”. Furthermore, one would make time for whomever we want to make time for! I don’t know this Clay ‘guy’ at all but from what I am hearing he seems to be a ‘bird brain’.

Hell…I still wonder about Chris and whether he can even write a letter. I want to know more about his literary capabilities.
I told him, “Later”.
Chris stated the same word, “Later” and hung up the phone!
I simply hung up the phone in anger. I don't believe he realized my anger.

Chris called me right back to say, “Oh, my mom gave me money and I don’t have to go to Sonoma tomorrow. I can come over around eleven in the morning.”
I was glad. Or was I glad? I think I want our day to be perfect. I want to get lunch together and go with him to Lake Chabot. Perhaps we can even ride a pedal boat together. I plan to surprise him. He did say he was still going to the concert with Clay. I pretended that I understood. He believed that I did not completely understand.
“We will discuss it more tomorrow,” said Chris in his ‘I promise you’ tone.

I tried to nap but instead I ate Doritos, coffee ice-cream and watched ‘Mama’s Family’ and “Silent” something (about the mistreated investigations of molested children). It freaked me out and reminded me of Chris and his stories about Charlie’s father and his own father and other molesting cases he had experienced as a child. It’s too bad. Maybe that is why he is so confused sometimes about our ‘mere friendship’.

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Who is Amanda Harris ?

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"
-Nial Kent
"A Divided Path"
as referenced about
a dramatic play of the same name

It was October 9, 2006 and the place was Madison Square Garden, New York City. The excited whispers and exclamations were all about Barbra Streisand doing a rare on-stage appearance via her tour with Il Divo.

Before the show there was a loud, uniform gasp from the audience because Oprah Winfrey had just arrived in a long red gown. One would think the Queen of England had just arrived.
Barbra sang like a songbird. It was no surprise that the night would be entertaining.
Alan and I were there with friends in very good center (to-the-right side) seats. It was intermission and Alan and I took a walk for refreshments when we saw “her”.
“Alan! That’s Amanda Harris…look!”
“You’re right…it is!”
“Amanda!” Alan shouted.
“Yell it again, she didn’t hear, I know it’s her.”
“Amanda!” Alan shouted loudly.
She turned her head as if it were a scene from Cinderella to look at us. She smile and (I think) gave a slight awareness wave of her hand. We were star-struck and no one could understand but us.

Amanda Harris is a character in the 1966-1971 Gothic TV soap-opera show known as Dark Shadows. The character, Amanda Harris, was in several episodes playing an alluring woman with a mysterious past during the 1897 time period. She also played Olivia Corey in the present day 20th Century of 1969. We had been watching the Dark Shadows DVD collection, so ‘Amanda Harris’ was fresh on our minds. She surely thought we were crazed fanatics but it was “Amanda Harris”!

Amanda Harris is actually known as the fabulous Donna McKechnie. We learned more about her after another chance meeting.

It was 4th of July 2009 (this MONTH!) when Alan and I were invited to our friends' home (Lynn) that has views of the fireworks on the Hudson River side of New York City. It was a small gathering of a handful of friends.

In walks a woman that I recognize from somewhere. I am with Lynn when this lovely guest is introduced to me on the outside balcony overlooking New York City.
“She played Cassie in “Chorus Line”,” said Lynn excitedly.
“Oh, wow! And I thought you were Amanda Harris,” I said.
Donna giggled with a slightly surprised look on her face.
The views were mesmerizing as we continued to chat about the beauty of the skyscrapers and Central Park. Alan walks onto the balcony and I introduce him to Donna as the ‘actress who played Cassie’.
“I actually thought you were another actress I remembered from Dark Shadows named Amanda Harris,” I said.
“I am,” Donna answered.
“Oh my God, it is you,” I said in amazement.
Alan began to realize that Donna was the Amanda Harris we knew from Dark Shadows. He went on to remind her about the 2006 Barbra Streisand concert and how he yelled out her name. Ironically, she recalled the strangeness of that moment, too. We laughed hysterically. What a great ‘reunion’ of sorts.

Donna McKechnie won a TONY Award for Best-Actress in the musical Chorus Line. She is an amazingly talented dancer, singer and actress. CLICK on either of these links for more insight on her history:
http://www.collinwood.net/cast/mckechnie.htm
OR here at the BARNABAS & CO. website:http://www.darkshadowsonline.com/where-mckechnie.html
The fantastic sounds of her music are available on her ‘Inside the Music’ CD.

http://www.amazon.com/Inside-Music-Donna-McKechnie/dp/B000065UNA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1248212678&sr=8-3

Donna is the choreographer for a Guys & Dolls In-Concert performance that will be appearing at “The Hollywood Bowl” on July 31; August 1st and 2nd, 2009. We hope to make it to one of the shows to honor her with more good cheer.

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 24, 1984
Tuesday

I mentioned to Barbara Reynolds about Nici stopping by my house late Friday night. I did not give her any further details. Barbara influenced me to pass on attending the section party on Friday night in San Bruno (the one Karyn Kossoff had invited me to attend). I think she is right. Why start something that I know will lead to nothing. Karyn is not really my type now (or is she?). She is so sweet and seems so wise. She smokes sometimes though (ugh!). Whatever happened to Katie Jones? She is the one I met in Concord who never called me back. I like what Barbara said about her.
“Well, she just wasn’t for you,” Barbara so succinctly pointed out.

At lunchtime, Barbara wanted to nap or meditate (or whatever), so I was on my own. I had to fend for myself this afternoon.

I decided to walk over to the BART station to buy a ticket. I decided to stop and talk to Bruce at his workplace. I checked out his store (Topps & Trowsers) for a while and kept the visit brief.

I ate some pizza on Powell Street at BLONDIES and saw some ‘humdinger’ type people. There were some strange ones out today! A lot of them kind of looked at me. Did I attract their eye or did they see me as an alien, too? The pizza cook at BLONDIES kept staring at me. What was that about? I got my share of double-takes today.

Training has been easy thus far.

I rode my bike a while and ate BBQ baked chicken at mom’s house. I came home and turned in for bed earlier than usual. I was just plain tired I guess. I must be mentally drained from all of the new information I am learning at work. At least I washed my car before I went bicycling. That was a good feeling of accomplishment.

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Deep Discussions

"He had to let off steam, otherwise we would never hear the end of it."
Thomas Mann
in his short story
FALLEN, 1894

It's time to honor a favorite author. I have only read his famed novella DEATH IN VENICE from 1918. I have a new appreciation for him as I am currently reading 'Six Early Stories' that were never before published in the United States by the great German novelist until 1997.

Born on June 6, 1875, Thomas Mann lived in Munich from 1893, emigrating to Switzerland in 1933 and to the USA in 1939, returning to Zurich at the end of his life. He died August 12, 1955.

Mann's writing reveals many of the great artistic forces behind late 19th and early 20th century Europe. His earliest works, including the novel "Buddenbrooks" (1901) and "Tonio Kroger" (1902), combine the European social novelw with the most regional model of German literature. The clash between 'a member of the middle class' and 'artist', between the stolid philistine (a person who is uninterested in intellectual pursuits) and the sensitive aesthete (one who professes great sensitivity to the beauty of art and nature), is repeated in 'Death In Venice' and in his great novel 'The Magic Mountain' (1924).

Thomas Mann works explore the role of art and the individual in a working world, which has little patience or understanding of the aesthetics.

I will be reading his other significant books (Joseph and His Brothers, Lotte in Wimar, Doctor Faustus, The Holy Sinner and Felix Krull) in the near future. Mann was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1929.

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 23, 1984, Friday

I made the mistake of calling Chris Cordellos at his moms' house in Concord at around 2PM.
"He's not here," Mrs. Cordellos said.
"Oh, well I was just wondering because we're going to a concert and I wanted to discuss details," I said.

I would later learn from Chris that he had told his mom that he was going to the concert with his friends, Elliot and Lyle. I guess I blew his cover.
"I don't really care because I'm twenty-one and I can do and see whomever I please," Chris said proudly.
He's got a point there. He is twenty-one now.

Chris arrived at my house around 7:15PM. I gave him his handmade tape of KQAK tunes and a TAMSTAR telephone. He was overjoyed. We had a grand time at the concert, too. 'The Uptones', a group from Berkeley, were a pretty cool opening act.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYG-LTM_byU

While at the concert some 'chick' pinched my ass. I took it as a flattering gesture. Let me tell you. After the concert we returned to my place and listened to every song on the tape I had made for him.

Chris started to feel a little 'down and out' because of his US Coast Guard troubles. He knew he was supposed to be at the base the next morning but figured he'd find a way to get excused from that. He was also worried about our relationship. He confessed about being nervous. His primary concern was my 'goings on' while he was at the base in Arcata, CA and me being down here in Alameda, CA. He was worried about what may or may not happen while we are away from one another. Chris seems to be overly jealous whenever I mention someone more than once. He should know by now how much I care for him. He's such a 'best friend' to me.

Chris went on to talk about his fellow Coast Guard pal, Jim Severn.
"He has such a good physique and sometimes I think he may be coming on to me," Chris said.

I was starting to realize that he may be more worried about what he may do while he is away. He assured me that nothing has happened between him and Jim Severn.

We ended up upstairs. We were both satisfied. Chris left at approximately 2:30AM on this 'Billy Idol' REBEL YELL night.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HuXl05QWos

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Spaghetti

"Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it."

For 2 years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He told her he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, and Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.'

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 16, 1984

I received an invitation from Helen to drive up to Lake Tahoe for her sister’s (Geneva) wedding. I turned her down because of my definite bike ride date with Debbie Honcik. I had also committed to attending the birthday party for Elisa Berney-Brown’s daughter, Stephanie.

I received AX (Absent without Pay) time which allowed me to leave the office at 1:30pm today. Hoorah! That means four hours cut from my pay. Ouch. Oh well.
I drove over to moms for a while. Then I went to my pad for my bike and rode along until 3:30pm. I decided to stop riding. I started to feel ‘Raindrops Falling on My Head’. (I love that song.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0mfSbL_hhQ
I lounged around with my brother John until Sherri arrived. John left for work. Sherri left right afterwards. She is very pregnant. My dad paid me a visit, too.

Finally, Chris called me while Dad was visiting. He wanted to verify where or not I succeeded in getting the BILLY IDOL concert tickets.
“Yeah, I sure did,” I replied.
“Well then I’m definitely coming down by six on Friday the twenty-third,” he confirmed, “I’m sure we’ll have fun.”
He mentioned that he was going out to dinner this evening with some friends. I chose not to disclose any details of what I had learned when I saw the Arcata phone calls on his Concord telephone billing data.
Chris did reveal his new address. He is living on Dow’s Prairie Road…or something like that. He had me wondering about the ‘group of people’ he was going out with tonight.
“You sure do know a lot of people out there,” I announced in the hopes of getting more information.
“I’m starting to,” Chris said.
I will put him on the spot the next time he calls. The good part is that he may be calling back tonight. He mentioned he would try to call back.

PHOTO: A photo I found that reminded me of Chris Cordellos in 1984 but it is actually model, Travis Hanson.

My dad stayed a while longer. Then I watched a bit of TV until I drove out to the MOBIL Station to fill the car with gas. I surprised dad and went to visit him after filling the car. Dad wanted to go out for dinner but we decided to just stay at his place and eat there.

When I returned to the townhouse it seemed more quiet than usual. I listened to music. Tomorrow I will go to H&R Block and make my 11am appointment at The Sperm Bank.

If I should die or if a major accident would occur this journal will be read by someone. I admit that I would be embarrassed to have just any one read what I have written. These are my thoughts. I want to regroup and polish my ideas, words, blunder, facts and stories into a more polished format one day. If I never do all will be well.

If an accident occurred while riding my bicycle I would want all of my female friends to know about my sperm donation. I wonder. I just wonder which of my female friends would choose to carry my child if I were gone. That’s an interesting thought. Yeah. I will definitely keep that appointment tomorrow. So what if I’m a donor father. That child will be blessed in some special way.

Elisa cancelled her daughters’ birthday party to Sunday. It’s just as well. I can work on my fictitious letterhead for my ART class: Cordellos Clothiers Associate Designer - Michael J Armijo.

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