The Twist

She gave him a smile he never forgot.
That smile told him what he had done;
the remembrance of it told him how much he could do for others.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

How can I not find a video of 'The Twist' and replay it over and over and over?

Listen for yourself:
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+twist%2C+chubby+checker&docid=1029122163071&mid=82A4FCEEC6FC2FF3AFF082A4FCEEC6FC2FF3AFF0&FORM=VIVR22#

'The Twist' Lyrics:

Come on baby let's do the twist
Come on baby let's do the twist
Take me by my little hand and go like this
Ee-oh twist baby baby twist
Oooh-yeah just like this
Come on little miss and do the twist

My daddy is sleepin' and mama ain't around
Yeah daddy is sleepin' and mama ain't around
We're gonna twisty twisty twisty
'Til we turn the house down
Come on and twist yeah baby twist
Oooh-yeah just like this
Come on little miss and do the twist

Yeah you should see my little Sis
You should see my my litlle Sis
She really knows how to rock
She knows how to twist
Come on and twist yeah baby twist
Oooh-yeah just like this
Come on little miss and do the twist
Yeah rock on now
Yeah twist on now
Twist


Twenty-five years ago today:

October 4, 1984
Thursday

“So, Bobbie, guess what?”
“What Michael?”
“I have a date tonight with Paloma.”
“Ooooh, Ahhhh.”
She was almost embarrassing me with her ‘ooing and ahhing’. I’m pretty sure I blushed.
“I haven’t seen her since March 15th,” I explained.
Bobbie was surprised and interested about the reconciliation.

I like a lady at work named Sue Leith. She is on-the-job training us and she is quite beautiful, well-balanced and nicely put together. I hope to become closer friends…or whatever.

Michael Miller called me after work and said, “I’m going to pick up my pictures from Belgium today. If you want I can stop by to show them to you.”

“I am expecting someone but you can still come over for a little while,” I said.
He arrived with his Belgium photos. We laughed and it was a great way for me to visit the country.

Paloma arrived while Michael was there. She was all ‘high-fashioned’ out in light army-green colors. Michael left and we went on our merry way to the Ice-Cream Dock on Harbor Bay Isle. I wonder what Michael's impressions were about her.

Paloma and I had a fantastic time catching up on good ole times like the time we met for Halloween in San Francisco. My lip was bleeding a bit on that night due to a bad razor blade while shaving. Paloma and I shared some ‘bloody good kisses’ because of it. We ate an ice-cream dessert (chocolate cookie n’ crunch), too.

We returned to my place and tried watching a little television while looking at some photographs. Paloma had one cigarette throughout the evening. I have to be content that it was only ‘one’. She departed at 10:30PM and I walked her outside to her car. We were pretty ‘lovey-dovey’, so I don’t know when and if we will make a complete turnaround.

Karyn Kossoff telephoned while Paloma was at my place. I returned her phone call, telling her that Michael Miller was here. I didn’t mention a word about Paloma.

“So, how do you like the job so far?” Karyn asked.
“Oh God, I’ve been so mentally drained every day this week, going to bed at nine-thirty every night with no bicycling!”
Karyn laughed in her Pebbles Flintstone ‘sort of way’.
“I am dressing like the 1950’s tomorrow. It’s pot luck day, so I just wanted to warn you.”
This ought to be interesting. I wonder if she’ll dance to Chubby Checker’s ‘The Twist’.

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No Matter What

There was no inviting the hurt
he knew would only be inevitable.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Have you ever heard of “Boy Zone”?
No, it’s not a place where only boys hang out in cyberspace. It is the name of a boy band from IRELAND that had popular mainstream success in the 1990’s. They were most successful in The Republic of Ireland, Australia, Asia and the UK. The band has released six #1 UK hit singles and four #1 albums, with sales approaching 20 million records as of 2008.

There was a song that they released in August 1998 that I heard about from my mother. It is called “No Matter What”. I don’t know if I introduced her to the song or if my niece, Ashley, did (she was very into ‘Boy Bands’ at this time).

When my mother passed away in January 2000 the tune was played at her memorial service. It has a lot of sentimental value for me. It is also a wonderful song. It is time to share it here on my BLOG.

PHOTO: Virginia Marie Armijo, 1956

Here are the lyrics to the 'NO MATTER WHAT' song (and a video LINK of them performing the tune if you care to listen):
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=no+matter+what%2C+boyzone&first=61&docid=1043954401641&mid=70379610B4B9891660DF70379610B4B9891660DF&FORM=VIVR36#

Chorus:
No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true
---------------------------------
No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know I'll love forever
I know, no matter what

If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered
Then we would hear God say

Chorus

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm
No matter where it's barren
A dream is being born
No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need
No matter if the sun don't shine
Or if the skies are blue
No matter what the end is
My life began with you

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know, I know
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now
No matter what

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 21, 1984
Tuesday

Training seemed to be another ‘wasted day’. Most of us had to wait around for our individual reviews for our role plays.

At lunchtime Barbara Reynolds and enjoyed Chinese food at the Galleria. We bumped into Teri Milham, a real ‘wench’ of an Assistant Manager that we used to know from Downtown Oakland. She was always so unpleasant towards me.

After work I came home and Chris was not there. He did telephone with his reasons.
“I’ll be right over after my Dad comes over. He wants to show me his new car, a 1971 red SAAB,” said Chris.

I happened to be talking to the geek (Bruce) when Chris rang the doorbell. Chris and I were happy to see one another after so long. He took me for a ride in his neat, classic looking car. It only cost him $800. It does have a look (very ‘77 Sunset Strip’).

We had a drink at Croll’s for old times’ sake. Chris started to talk all about this new guy he had met named Grant.
“I’m just not sure what to do with you hanging over my mind all of the time,” Chris said matter-of-factly.
He was being open about it all at least.
“Do whatever feels right and don’t worry,” I said directly.

We returned to my pad and ‘reunited and such’. It is clear to me that Chris seems to feel we both want to go out with other people. Linda Nannizzi is proof of the pudding (on my part). Now that he is on vacation his promiscuous talk kind of worries me. I must be very wary of that fact.
“Call me around six o’clock tomorrow,” Chris said before he left.

I really don’t think I can call right at that exact time. I will call him when I get home. I refuse to be the aggressor ‘on his tail’. He may call me as much as he wants. It will inform me as to exactly how much time he really wants to spend with me (on his vacation). It is funny. I am on the last page of this journal book. Now that I am coming to the last page it is also like closure of a key relationship.

I must remember what Chris did say.
“We are ‘and know’ we will always be friends,” Chris had said.
I enjoyed being with him tonight but then again something grosses me out about him—in a way. I don’t like the looks of it.

I telephoned Karyn Kossoff to make sure she was watching ’79 Park Avenue’. She is such a nice gal. I respect and love her companionship.

Chris is overly anxious to go out. And “shit”, he said he planned to go to that bar, “The Hub”, in Walnut Creek. I refused to say a word when he told me of his plans to go there. His ‘open, gay attitude’ is making me like him less and less in terms of anything more than friends.

Linda Nannizzi is definitely marriage material but I do need to get to know her ‘deep down’ a lot better. She has not opened up enough to me about her actual self, her likes, dislikes, thoughts and feelings. I want to know her better. As far as marriage goes…I am not even sure if I really want to go there yet (now or ever for that matter).

All I know is that I forecast Chris and I coming to a close; however, we will remain good chums. I, at least, want to be. I guess it’s a matter of him wanting to make time for me and vice-versa. I know he wants to explore. He said it ‘point blank’. If this is the case I intend to close his chapter very soon! I do intend on keeping tabs with him. Tomorrow he is arranging a portfolio shooting with his mom’s friend who used to own an agency of some kind.

I love Leslie Ann Warren as I watched her in ’79 Park Avenue’ again. I want a beautiful relationship and possibly a family one day. I believe the idea of that will always be in the back of my mind. I do know that ‘no matter what’…I am and ‘always will be’ a Happy Man.

Bobbie Renbarger is one really nice lady at work. She is in her late thirties. I know she has never been married. She’s a lot of fun though. I am glad she is my friend. I wrote her a thoughtful letter today. She wrote me a poetic letter that I shall treasure as well.

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Intoxicating Moments

We're quiet people.
As a general rule extraordinary things do not happen to us,
and we are not the type to go looking for them.
-Morag Joss
"Half Broken Things"

On the night of May 28, 2009, I remember being a bit ‘tipsy’ from the luscious wine after a wonderful dinner in San Sebastian, Spain at a most fantastic restaurant called AKELARE. I will write more about AKELARE in tomorrows’ blog.

Today, I just want to concentrate on the silly tune I heard while in the taxicab back to our Hotel Maria Cristina. I had never heard it before and it just made me laugh. It’s called “Cincinnati Dancing Pig”.

Imagine being a tad drunk and hearing this tune. It was like I was transported to a farm and hearing authentic pig sounds. It was quite funny to me at the time. I love the song even more now because it takes me back to that lovely night and the taxicab back to the beach side Hotel in Spain. Have you ever heard it before? It’s from 1950 by some chap named Red Foley but I believe Tennessee Ernie Ford has done his own rendition of it:
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cincinatti+dancing+pig&docid=1136696820254&mid=EF6EFC3D0994AB7AFEE6EF6EFC3D0994AB7AFEE6&FORM=VIVR16#

Sing-A-Long…here are the lyrics to 'Cincinatti Dancing Pig':

Cincinnati dancing pig
He's the barnyard mister big
Cincinnati dancing pig
with his riggedy, jiggedy, jiggedy, jiggedy jig-a-jig-jig!

Children yell and clap and sing
When he does his buck and wing,
Cincinnati dancing pig
with his riggedy, jiggedy, jiggedy, jiggedy jig-a-jig-jig!

Dancing bears and kangaroos
have a lot on the ball,
but until you dig that remarkable pig
You ain't seen nothin' at all!

From Duluth to Birmingham
He's the pork chop Dapper Dan,
He's the keenest ham what am,
Cincinnati dancing pig
with his riggedy jiggedy jig-jig-jig!


Twenty-five years ago today:

August 3, 1984
Friday

I surprisingly received complements galore about my simple white shirt and tie with gray and black colors today. I accompanied Bobbie Renbarger to Emporium when some strange guy came up to me and said, “Hey, I like your tie, where did you get it?”
At first I thought he was just openly ‘coming on to me’. I couldn’t be sure.

Bobbie finished up with her cosmetic purchase and we left. We ate our lunch outside on this beautiful San Francisco day.

I met Karyn Kossoff after work at Third & Folsom. We decided to skedaddle over to “The Cadillac Bar” for two vodka gimlets. Time passed and we had about three White Russians at a place called “Raggs”. We finally figured out (by the third White Russian) that our waitress must be a transsexual (or transvestite). We kept on with our ‘Pebbles and Bamm Bamm’ laughter, getting to know one another better. It was so much fun.

PHOTO: A transvestite sighting I
saw in NYC on May 19, 2009
They've come a long way...
Karyn and I moved on to a place called “Barnaby’s” where our co-worker, Ryan Hargrave, happened to be. Ryan was nice enough to buy our first round of drinks. He is way too cool. I like him (despite his sexual preference). Besides, if I were drunk enough...Ryan and I could...?

It was a surprise to see Helen (not Helen Wong—another Helen) with Carol (at the bar).
“I want to be sure and dance with you,” said Helen, looking straight at me.
I smiled as she fought to not slur her words.

Instead, Karyn and I went out on the dance floor (after we were half-way through our Long Island Iced-Teas). Eventually, we went outside to ‘cool off’. When we went back inside both Ryan and Helen had vanished. Oh well…such is life.

It was clear that both Karyn and I were somewhat “wasted” by the end of the night. We ended up getting lost until we finally found the BART station. Karyn is quite touchy feely (and I quite like it).
“I notice how sometimes you pull away,” Karyn remarked.
Well, she is right. She is too touchy! I like it—then again, I don’t because I am not sure that she is ‘the one’.

I got the impression that she was proposing the idea of coming with me via BART to my Fruitvale Station stop, etcetera. Perhaps it is my imagination. Does she just want to f—-k with me? I cannot do it with her even if I did go with the flow. It does not feel like the right time for it...yet. Shit. Oh well, she was as drunk as I was…and as I am writing this at this very moment.

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Somewhere

He stopped to look at the bright colors of magazine covers in a drugstore window.
Anything to postpone the inevitable a little longer.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

I was on a flight from New York to London on May 20, 2009 and I found myself listening to easy tunes by a singer named RHYDIAN. He was the runner-up in the 2007 X-Factor (a British show that is similar to America's AMERICAN IDOL). I liked his singing of 'The Bridge Over Troubled Water', 'Somewhere' and 'Not a Dry Eye in the House'.

I decided to feature the song SOMEWHERE in today's blog because I never realized it was a song from WEST SIDE STORY until recently. Here is a video of RHYDIAN, singing SOMEWHERE during the X-Factor show:
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=rhydian&docid=1004139380943&mid=F67A4F4D40E2FE1993D2F67A4F4D40E2FE1993D2&FORM=VIVR3

SOMEWHERE (lyrics)

There's a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere.

There's a time for us,
Some day a time for us,
Time together with time spare,
Time to learn, time to care,
Some day!

Somewhere.
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere . . .

There's a place for us,
A time and place for us.
Hold my hand and we're halfway there.
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow,
Some day,
Somewhere!

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 26, 1984
Tuesday

I managed to get out of work early today (3PM). I went to moms for my clothes that she sweetly ironed for me. I had a good bike ride up until 5:15PM or so.

I decided at about 7PM that I’d drive to Walnut Creek for a haircut by Danny (at Supercuts).
PHOTO: Actor, Michael Damian
a 'Danny' lookalike

Michael Thoennes telephoned.
“I just called to say goodbye because I’m moving to Oregon on Sunday,” Michael T said.

I telephoned Chris and Barbara answered the phone. It wasn’t a surprise that she answered.
“I have to ask you a question. Is Chris bisexual?” Barb asked.
Now that was a surprise! I was dumbfounded.
“I can’t figure it out because he was acting peculiar and wouldn’t discuss the problem with me,” Barb continued.
“The real problem, according to Chris, is your nagging,” I explained.
“Well, a girlfriend had stopped by the house and saw Chris on the porch with some guy. Chris was ‘more than’ buddy-buddy with this guy, so the girl split the scene, totally freaked,” Barb said, hoping I would offer some insight.
“I don’t know. I promise I won’t say a word,” I said after she pleaded that I not tell Chris about any of this information.

I decided to go and see Danny (in Walnut Creek) after this conversation. Danny cut my hair and we arranged to meet at the Lyon’s Restaurant. I had four white Russians before the meeting. He arrived with his roommate of the week (Mary) and her sister (Dawn). We all ate together and talked about mushrooms, pictures, haircuts, roller skating and Danny’s regional championship event in Bakersfield on Saturday (my traffic school date). Danny is a champion skater.

I ended up spending the night at Danny’s apartment. Mary went to bed before us. I learned that Mary’s husband (Dan) had died in a car accident less than six months ago. Danny and I barely slept a wink. We slept in his very untidy room. We started to kiss and fool around but never went very far. I needed to vent my frustrations as I told him about being “together” with Chris. I explained our long-distance romance and his being in the Coast Guard in the Eureka area.
“I understand,” Danny said as he kept staring at me like he was in total love.

Danny’s surname is Garcia and he believes we have an uncanny resemblance to one another. I don't see it as clearly. I thought he looked more like Danny Romalotti (aka Michael Damien), a character on "The Young & The Restless".

Danny Garcia is a Libra and I find him to be a very nice guy. Danny had hair cuttings to deal with in San Jose the next day. Then he had skating rehearsals. My plan was to drive to work in Downtown Oakland from his Alamo, California apartment.

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Pictures Of You

When things were not to her liking, her eyes would fill, her lower lip would protrude, and her voice had a quiver as she said,
"My feelings are hurt."
By which method she usually got what she wanted.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

I know I had heard this song a year or two ago and I never found it again until my recent trip to Europe (thanks to EUROPA-FM). It's called PICTURES OF YOU by a group called 'The Last Goodnight'. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! (One would think I must LOVE taking pictures.)

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=pictures+of+you%2C+the+last+goodnight&docid=953062916548&mid=8AA609E92BB13368E4D88AA609E92BB13368E4D8&FORM=VIVR7

This is the clock up on the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a new born child before he starts to crawl
This is the war that's never won
This is the soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone praying for her son

(chorus)
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be
Woooah

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking
Inside i'm high up and dry

(chorus)
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me
Every secret moment
Every stolen promise you've believed
Confess to me
All that lies between us
All that lies between you and me
We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we cant win no matter how hard we must swing

(chorus)
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

There's another PICTURES OF YOU song by The Cure that I was reminded of that I loved back in the 1980's, too. Allow me to take "PICTURES OF YOU". Please!
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=pictures+of+you%2C+the+cure&docid=989699834145&mid=7C7A416779B7FC3B82237C7A416779B7FC3B8223&FORM=VIVR11

Which version do you like better?

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 21, 1984
Thursday

It was a drab day until around 4pm when Moe (one of the mid-level supervisors) decided to come over to my cubicle.
“Would you like to have tomorrow morning off as AX time?” Moe asked.
I jumped at the offer. “AX” is ‘Absent Without Pay’ but I could use the time to get things together at my pad (even if I had to be at work midday).

On this evening I pretty much refurbished the environment of my closet. Things were beginning to look much neater. John still has not removed his bed frame, headboard and desk. I will be happy when I have that space.

I went to bed at midnight.

I telephoned Chris Cordellos at 11PM and ‘Barbara the Bitch’ answered. She was unusually ‘snotty’ at me. I could tell by her aloof tone. It was for no apparent reason either. I asked her to wake Chris. He did not say much, so ‘that was that’.

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Relax, Take It Easy

He said, “Creative artists
have a much more consuming sexual energy
than regular people.”
-as heard during
The NYC Broadway show
“The Philanthropist”
Starring Matthew Broderick

The hot question during these early innovative days is “Should I BING or Should I GOOGLE?” I am beginning to prefer BING. So when in doubt relax and “BING it!”
www.bing.com
It is all a matter of choice (really). I found it funny though when I was in a car in London en route to Cambridge, England recently that I should witness a transaction. There was a young man in a souvenir shop buying a t-shirt with the words imprinted on the shirt 'F--K Google, Ask Me'. It seems many are trying to make a statement in some way or another.

It is time to share another song I discovered in Europe called 'Relax, Take It Easy' by some guy named “MIKA”. The song came in handy when we were lost, circling inside Costa Brava Spanish roads in slight frustration. I remember seeing these rolled up bales of hay and thinking,
"We'll never get to this hotel."

And now the scene is imprinted in my mind as a BEAUTIFUL moment. I remember seeing a sign near this 'bales of hay' location. We were in a town called VERGES. Boy, was I on the verge...but then the 'Relax, Take It Easy' song came on. It was perfect timing. When having a stressful day and the espresso has taken charge one must play this song.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=relax+take+it+easy%2C+mika&docid=562439782413&mid=91F5D635E41193B10BF091F5D635E41193B10BF0&FORM=VIVR
The song has good words to live by.
"Relax, Take It Easy"

Took a ride to the end of the line
Where no one ever goes.
Ended up on a broken train with nobody I know.
But the pain and the longing's the same.
Where the dying
Now I'm lost and I'm screaming for help.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

It's as if I'm scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
It's as if I scared.
It's as if I'm playing with fire.
Scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?

Relax
There is an answer to the darkest times.
It's clear we don't understand but the last thing on my mind
Is to leave you.
I believe that we're in this together.
Don't scream - there are so many roads left.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

It's as if I'm scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
It's as if I scared.
It's as if I'm playing with fire.
Relax
It's as if I'm terrified.
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?

PHOTO: MIKA


Twenty-five years ago today

June 16, 1984
Saturday

I had a weird dream Friday night. I dreamt of ‘Gina’ (Sherri’s girlfriend). I also dreamt of Chris. It was strange. I don’t even remember it clearly except that it was fairly sexual.

Well, it is now Saturday night and on this day I went to pick up my framed prints. While I was waiting I found myself purchasing an 8 x 10 frame. One can never have too many. Maybe I will use it for that freebie portrait I have scheduled for on June 27th.

I stopped over at ‘Designs Unlimited’ to look at the furniture. Then I hit ‘Piggy Malone’s for a vase for Salima’s birthday which is on June 28th. I also bought a tie ($4.50); candles, cards and a feather duster.

I was about to go for bike ride when I discovered that my ‘pride and joy’ had a flat tire. I felt sadness. I went to Joe’s Bike Shop to have it repaired with a new tire. I am such a convenience buyer. I ended up buying a HARD RACING Bike T-shirt. I did have a good, smooth ride with the new tire replacement. It stopped by 3330 Cook Lane and enjoyed a slice of pizza and a Dr. Pepper.

PHOTO: 1984-Michael J Armijo
and Ashley M Armijo

Ashley and I went on an outing together. I went to Safeway and La Val’s Pizza with her. It was fun being with ‘Ash’. I ended up hanging out with Sherri and her Dad (Bob). I helped transfer a couple of loads of clothes from her house to 3330 Cook Lane. It was a different kind of workout. I prefer bicycling. I was tired. My legs were tired from the earlier bike ride, too. It was cool though. I just cannot wait to move into my pad again at 3348 Solomon Lane. I hit the sack by eleven o’clock on this night.

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When You're Gone

PHOTO: A film clip image
I found in Puymirol, France

He stroked her with both hands-a long relishing stroke that began at her bound wrists, slid down over her arms, breasts, and loins, and became a voluptuous tickling between her legs. He repeated the exciting stroke again and again, his hands hot and sharp-nailed, and then, when ready-ready-more-than-ready, he slipped a hand under her buttocks, raised them, lodges his hardness against her, and pushed it powerfully in.
-Ira Levin (b. Aug 27 1929, d. Nov 12 2007)
in his book "Rosemary's Baby"

When I am on vacation I have my fascination for taking pictures. I also try to search for new things like 'a new song' or 'a new book'. While in Europe last month I discovered a few new songs and here is one of them that I am featuring on the blog today. It was heard on the EUROPA FM channel. It is called 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne. I adore her talent.

PHOTO: Avril Lavigne
It is quite an amazing song (maybe you already know of it). I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Before you CLICK the link to watch and listen to the music video, please read the lyrics:

"When You're Gone"

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
[Chorus]
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=when%20you're%20gone%2C%20avril%20lavigne&docid=812840845422&mid=C14426C0291CD4AF83FDC14426C0291CD4AF83FD&FORM=VIVR23

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 13, 1984,
Wednesday

It hadn't dawned on me until just this evening but Chris Cordellos got caught in his own lie. I telephoned him at the Coast Guard Base to tell him the amount of his new telephone bill. He was actually 'at the Base'. Yes, I just realized. It was strange.
"Did you call the house?" Chris asked.
"No," I replied, acting dumb at the time. (I was actually dumb.)
"Good that you didn't because Barb is there and I know you'll both gossip about me," Chris said.

Oh well. I am understanding. Chris is probably low on funds and that is why he didn't want to come down to visit. He could have (should have) explained. What the heck. He does not need to give me an excuse for every decision he makes.

I went to the Sperm Bank and talked to Carol, the girl who works there who is from back East (Massachusetts, I think). She is really nice and kind of cute. I like her. I sort of asked her out for dinner but she gave some flimsy excuse of having to work late for some seminar deal. I didn't push it. Some guys meet girls in school or a bar. I meet them at a Sperm Bank. Hilarious.

PHOTO: Ashley M Armijo, 1984

I did not even bike ride today. I retrieved my mail that had accumulated at the Solomon Lane townhouse where John and Sherri were still living. When I got to mom and dad's I 'porked out' on mom's BBQ chicken. I ordered some clothes at fifty-percent off from the latest International Male catalog. I read some of my ESQUIRE and BICYCLING magazines. Then I just lounged about with the television for company.

I have not called on Frank Vasconcellos about the "Streets of Fire" movie (starring Michael Pare, Diane Lane and Willem Dafoe). It's just as well. He has not telephoned me either.

The interesting article this month was found in ESQUIRE magazine. It was titled "Carnal College" and went on to explain the challenge for college students to ultimately write a paper for themselves (not for the teacher, a course or a grade). The article suggested a student write their own 'sexual autobiography'. I laughed as my journal is an A plus (and then some) in that respect.

I showed my office coworkers the photographs of my niece, Ashley. They loved them.

My brother, John, is a baseball card fanatic. He is an avid collector now.

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End Of The Road

To study the way is to study the self,
To study the self is to forget the self,
To forget the self
is to be awakened
with ALL things.
-A Mental Hideaway

There is a song by a group called HOTHOUSE FLOWERS called 'End Of The Road' that inspired me yesterday (while watching a film called 'The Borstal Boy').
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKxqm4_DEAI&feature=related
I have to share the tune. I couldn't find a music video but you can hear a sample of it at www.amazon.com by paging down via this link and giving a CLICK to the 'End Of The Road' track:
http://www.amazon.com/Into-Your-Heart-Hothouse-Flowers/dp/B0002YCOYO/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1240246343&sr=8-2

End Of The Road
Words and music by Peter O'Toole

It's gonna be too late
If we wait for another day
Some things just can't wait anymore
This is do or die
For you and I
Is this the end of the road

All your sweet talking
I've heard it all before
I just wanna know what's turning you on
This is do or die
For you and I
Is this the end of the road

So what's done is done
Never gonna change it
We can kiss it all goodbye
When you don't know what to say
Just don't say anything
We can try (we can try) we can try (we can try)
You're as good as how you take it
We can try (we can try) we can try (we can try)
You're as real as how you fake it

If this is your way
Of giving me what you've got
I just don't need it anymore
This is do or die
For you and I
Is this the end of the road

So what's done is done
Never going to change it
We can kiss it all goodbye
When you don't know what to say
Just don't say anything
We can try (we can try), we can try (we can try)
?It's so good that you can make it?
We can try (we can try) we can try (we can try)
You can give it or you can break it

There's a part of me that's living for new things to do
There's a part of me that's dying baby
Cos I know I'm losing you
This is do or die, for you and I
This is the end of the road

Twenty-five years ago today:

April 20, 1984
Friday

When I called Chris Cordellos today I was happy to learn that the 'slight lump' in his crotch area was nothing serious.
"They took care of it," Chris said as my eyebrow rose in wonder to how they did so.
Chris' friend and Coast Guard cohort, Jim Severn, was there when I telephoned, so speaking freely was a problem for him. We 'beat around the bush' and were able to get our messages across nicely.

I went on a rapid bicycle ride after work, quickly changed my clothes and hopped in my car to make the dinner date with Helen Wong. We ate well and discussed a variety of topics. She confessed that she and Tony are 'somewhat of an item'. Helen shared some photographs from old photo albums. I was in sweet heaven while eating some of the lemon meringue pie she made for me. I left her place by 10PM.

I had videotaped Joan Rivers' last night show and watched that episode along with her appearance on the Tonight Show on this very night. Then I watched some of the funny 'Friday Night Videos' with Dad. We laughed over some of the silly scenes. I went to bed right after that.

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Something Better Happen Soon

I have witnessed many storms in my life.
Most storms have taken me by surprise,
and so I’ve had to learn—and very quickly too—to look farther off,
to understand that I cannot control the weather,
to practice the art of patience, and to respect nature’s fury.
Things do not always happen the way I would have wanted,
and it’s best that I get used to that.
--Paulo Coelho
‘Like The Flowing River’


There is a song by R.E.M. called “Don’t Go Back to Rockville”. The R.E.M. band originated from Athens, Georgia. Between 1983 and 1986, R.E.M.’s first four albums defined a type of music still taking shape at the time (an as-yet unnamed “Alternative Rock” was then emerging).

This song was released by R.E.M. on November 30, 1983 and I really loved it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erBvUeQCeVs
The lyrics to "Don't Go Back to Rockville":

Looking at your watch a third time waiting in the station for the bus
Going to a place that's far, so far away and if that's not enough
Going where nobody says hello, they don't talk to anybody they don't know
You'll wind up in some factory that's full time filth and nowhere left to go
Walk home to an empty house, sit around all by yourself
I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

Don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville
And waste another year

At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend
I don't care that you're not here with me
'Cause it's so much easier to handle
All my problems if I'm too far out to sea
But something better happen soon
Or it's gonna be too late to bring *me back

It's not as though I really need you
If you were here I'd only bleed you
But everybody else in town only wants to bring *me down and
That's not how it ought to be
Well I know it might sound strange, but I believeYou'll be coming back before too long


Twenty-five years ago today:

Sunday, April 15, 1984
At approximately 9AM my telephone rang. It was Chris Cordellos calling.
“Hey, why don’t you come over,” Chris suggested impatiently.

I arrived in Concord, CA at around 10AM. We played by the pool with ‘James the Dog’. Barb came out later. We decided to head out to The City (San Francisco) to see Barb’s friend, Sue.

We ate at Scott’s Seafood Bar & Grill near Chestnut Street. After the scrumptious lunch we hung out at Sue’s bar called DANNY’s.

Chris and I escaped to a store called HEADLINE’s where I purchased a new pair of boots (gray in color). Chris thought they were so “hot”.

Chris bought a few greeting cards. One of the cards depicted a girl on a surfboard (for who this was bought I do not know). He also chose a card for his friend, Clay, although he would not show me this particular card. I wonder if he picked a card for ‘me’. I should be so lucky-if he did.

Chris browsed through some clothes at 3rd Avenue. He did not buy a thing. We jammed on back to pick up Barb.

It was 3PM by now and we decided to stop at Jack London Square at Gallagher’s. My brother, John, was tending bar there. He treated each of us to a drink. Both Barb and Chris were dreading the idea of going back to the US Coast Guard base up in Humboldt County. We filled the car with gas.

Chris called his friend, Clay. I learned that Clay is stationed at the Oakland US Coast Guard base. I was surprised--to say the least--to learn of this news. Then again, Chris is not the ‘blab and tell all at once’ type. He is well known for that.

We grabbed an evening bite at the Willows Shopping Center in Concord, CA. We munched at Fuddruckers’ Burgers. We continued to ‘hang out’, browsing through a few of the mall shops. I chauffeured them to Chris’ mom’s condominium in Concord by 7:30PM.

I drove home, wondering where C.C. (Chris Cordellos) and I stood after such abrupt goodbyes. The song by R.E.M. was playing on the radio, “Don’t Go Back to Rockville”. Chris and I have an ongoing joke, relating the tune to his going back to "Arcata-ville".

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My Dreams Are Getting Better...

"You're a different fish in a sea of sameness."
-Jason F Wright
'The Wednesday Letters'

A few months ago I read 'The Wednesday Letters' by Jason F Wright. It's not the greatest book but the author mentioned a song by Doris Day that I really wanted to hear. I still haven't heard it (hopefully soon), but here are the lyrics.

MY DREAMS ARE GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME

Well, what do you know, he smiled at me in my dreams last night
My dreams are getting better all the time
And, what do you know, he smiled at me in a different light
My dreams are getting better all the time

To think that we were strangers a couple of nights ago
And though it's a dream, I never dreamed he'd ever say hello
Oh, maybe tonight I'll hold him tight when the moonbeams shine
My dreams are getting better all the time

To think that we were strangers a couple of nights ago
And though it's a dream, I never dreamed he'd ever say hello
Oh, maybe tonight I'll hold him tight when the moonbeams shine
My dreams are getting better all the time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWwdmHppREs

Twenty-five years ago today:

April 11, 1984

I was thinking about my sister-in-law, Sherri Lewis today. I thought specifically about how she was adopted. I wonder how often she ponders the mystery of her heritage.

I wonder how my Dad's niece, Cecelia Markus, feels about being pregnant at age thirty-eight?

I telephoned Chris Cordellos this morning.
"I told Jim about us last night, yeah," he said happily.
"You did?"
"Yeah, and I told him that I only wanted to be pals with him," Chris replied, "and Jim said that I was most likely being unfaithful wherever I was."
"You're kidding," I said not believing my ears.
"Nahh...he even said that since he's here with me that we should make at attempt at it," Chris confessed.
They are NOT going to make an 'attempt at it' according to Chris. He continued to tell me how 'bumbed out' he is about the whole US Coast Guard scene.

"I hate being here and not there with you."
I guess the key revelation of this telephone conversation was Jim's claim of my "low worth" and "probably other dates".

At work I discussed beer, babies, and annoying customers with Gloria Guzman. I bought a bottle of Lowenbrau and ate at the Pot Belli Deli with Tony and Helen. Tony and Helen were all "handsy" under the table. They couldn't keep their hands off of one another. Helen acts like she's 'so in love'. Gloria Guzman came by to join us with her 7up and sandwich.

When I telephoned Chris again I learned that he is thinking of flying down to the Bay Area since he has the week off to rest. Barbara, his roommate, was thinking of driving down on Sunday because she has a need to shop at MACY's Santa Rosa.
"I might fly down tonight," Chris announced.

Helen invited me to dinner but I backed off on the invitation, saying I had a bike ride commitment. I didn't really want to impose on the Helen and Tony courtship.

While at the office I played detective by glancing at the Barbara and Chris telephone bill. I saw a twenty-three minute telephone call at 60% off to me for $42.12. The total bill was $298.48. When I informed Chris of the bill he totally freaked out over the total amount.
"Oh My God, Barb's gonna cry," Chris said.
We bid our mutual goodbye's reluctantly.

I was riding my bike after work when I decided to join my Dad for dinner. I watched a little of the National and Local News with him. I fell asleep during 'Real People' in hopes of watching 'Dynasty'. Then Tony and Helen appeared.
"You should have come over for dinner," Helen told me reassuringly.
"Well, I didn't want to impose," I said.
She sighed, "T and I are just friends."
I frowned a questionable look.

"I called The Placement Center and asked why I hadn't been picked up yet," Helen said, "and Mike Potts the guy I know at AT&T Personnel says they're hiring Account Executives who make ten-thousand more a year!"
"What? I'm willing to take a slice of that," I interrupted.
"Yeah! He is going to send a couple of applications for us," Helen added.
Who knows what will happen? I do hate to just discard my two years of service (and my two and half years of past service that I can eventually bridge) with Pac Bell.

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One Less Bell To Answer

"His practice was to write two books at once, turning to the second when he struck a snag on the first, and back to the first when he struck a snag on the second."
-Ira Levin
Rosemary's Baby

I liked the above line in the Ira Levin book that I finished reading last night. I tend to read two books at once, turning to the second when I strike a snag on the first. I'm in the middle of 'Six Early Stories' by the German novelist, Thomas Mann.

The other day Alan and I were laughing. I think it started with me saying that it was 'one less thing to do'. We remembered this song and tried singing the words 'off & on' throughout the day. We couldn't remember the name of the song or who had sung it. Thanks to Alan's I-PHONE we found the answer. I had to relive the experience and know all of the lyrics once more. Here they are:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2z0KmhK95Q
One Less Bell To Answer lyrics
by The Fifth Dimension

One less bell to answer
One less egg to fry
One less man to pick up after
I should be happy
But all I do is cry
(Cry, cry, no more laughter) I should be happy
(Oh, why did he go)
Since he left my life's so empty
Though I try to forget it just can't be done
Each time the doorbell rings I still run
I don't know how in the world
To stop thinking of him
'Cause I still love him so
I spend each day the way I start out
Crying my heart out
One less man to pick up after
No more laughter, no more love
Since he went away (he went away)
(One less bell to answer) Why did he leave me
(Why, why, why did he leave)
(One less bell to answer) Now I've got one less egg to fry
One less egg to fry
(Why, why, why did he leave) And all I do is cry
(One less bell to answer) Because a man told me goodbye
(Why, why, why did he leave)
(One less bell to answer) Somebody tell me please
Where did he go, why did he go
(Why, why, why did he leave) How could he leave me

Twenty-five years ago today:

Sunday, March 18, 1984

I was pissed-off to say the least. I took an early nonsense drive into San Lorenzo and Hayward after just washing my car. It was pointless to begin the day so early because Denevi Camera and Emporium Capwell were not open until noon. I ended up driving all the way back to mom's for breakfast. I had the convertible top down and the cool breeze made for a nice drive (the only consolation).

At Noon I rode my bicycle until 3:30PM along the South Shore beach in Alameda and surrounding areas. I laid out along different sections of the beach to view the scenery for 'Sunday' rest and relaxation.

I am considering a white Samoan husky dog as a pet. I will hold off on it. It's hard enough taking care of myself these days. The husky I saw at Lake Chabot yesterday was adorable.

The biking tired me out. I came home after a brief visit at Mom's. We had a few good laughs over some old family photographs.

I laughed at mom's story of the day. She said she touched Tony's car today and the alarm went off for the entire neighborhood.
She freaked out, realizing she had no idea how to turn it off.
"I didn't know what to do," she laughed.
I laughed.

Mom showed me the baby shower guest list for Sherri. She plans on inviting Suzy Miller and Helen Wong. I agreed that it was a great idea to invite them.

I went home to nap until 7:30PM. It was time for a movie. I chose "Absence of Malice".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SGe-IywHXg
After a shower I decided to go back to mom & dad's and watch the movie there. Besides, there is more to 'munch on' in their fridge.

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Suspicious Love

"Do you regret our love? I must know."
"Why do they ask? she thought. Do they ask the sun if it regrets the light?
"No, I do not," she answered tenderly. "I only regret that we must part today."
"Must it be today?"
"Today is easier than tomorrow," she replied.
He did not deny the truth.
-Bette Bao Lord
in her book,
"Spring Moon"

A song by Camouflage comes to mind today. They are a German synthpop and dance music trio. They performed this tune in 1993 that I really love. Listen!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=djlrWtIRxXs

'Suspicious Love' Lyrics

Try to tell me something,
Try to tell me how it feels,
Build it up to beat it down again,
All the things you're hiding,
All the games you play with me,
Build it up to beat it down again.
Suspicious love,
Froze my natural laugh,
And I need to change,
But something keeps me here.
I feel I know,
I won't let it grow,
And I need to change,
But something keeps me here,
I refuse to crawl.
Got to tell you something,
Got to tell you how it feels,
Once built up and beaten down again.
Promises once spoken,
All the warmth you gave to me
Leave me always somehow inbetween...
I'd like to see you crawling.

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 15, 1984, Thursday

First of all, Paloma had intended on having lunch with me and she "faced" me once again! Why? She had to work.
"Could we go out tonight instead of on Friday night because I have something to do?" Paloma asked.
Who knows what she has to do? Perhaps she made another date!
"Sure," I said, feeling quite curious, "I'll call you this evening."

Paloma called me as soon as I arrived home from work. To my amazement I heard the most odd story from her. Then again, I did implore her to tell me because it was clear she had something on her mind. And so she did.
"I am too passionate in feelings," she began with her cute French/English accent.
I listened intently.
"I am starting to love another guy very much that I met at a party in Berkeley."
Believe me, I was hurt during this process. I didn't hide my feelings and I let her know it. What nerve of her to tell me this.

I thought we were on the brink of something special. Apparently we were not.
"I am looking for real love," she said.
I guess I am too--but love is something that grows over time. This is what I believe.

She is a done for 'wench' as far as I'm concerned!
"I am going to my exercise class now and I will call you at 8:45," Paloma continued, "so I can talk to you some more."
She pointed out clearly how she really wished to talk more.

I, of course, had to go off into the sunset on my bicycle for exhilarating relief while she was off to her exercise class in the City. It was funny because I almost thought she referred to this "guy" as a "she". I thought she was going to spill her guts out about being bisexual (which--in turn--one could say is my very own inner truth).

That evening I drove to my Dad's for a bite to eat. I think there were other reasons I wanted to be away. I didn't want to be home for Paloma's telephone call. I needed time. I decided to drive into the City myself. I went to visit some bar called 'The Stud' that I had heard about. I went to 'The Stud' and arrived early, so it was boring. There were hardly any people there. I did have three vodka gimlets at $1.05 each. Some 'tub of lard' from San Mateo started talking to me. Another fellow who worked at the establishment gave me a handful of "hellos". I seemed to get my fair share of looks as the time ticked on. I couldn't take the vibes there anymore. I left for Alameda. I took a shower when I got home and slept on my 'frustrations'.

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If You Keep Wandering They'll Never Find You

"You know what they say if you get lost in the woods. Stay put!
They'll find you.



If you keep wandering...they'll never find you."
-a line heard
in the film 'Big Eden'

Alan and I watched 'Big Eden', a film last night (another NetFlix mailbox surprise). It was a so-so movie but I loved the ending credits song. I am not very much into country music but I really liked the lyrics sung by Lari White.

If wishes were horses
I'd ride a fast one
If wishes were wings
I'd fly wild and free
If wishes were trains
I'd be on the last one
If wishes came true
You'd be loving me

If wishes were blue skies
I'd never get rained on
I'd walk in the sun
Whenever I please
If wishes were dreams
I'd dream the same one
Over and over
Of you loving me

I whisper your name
On each star I see falling
That old wishing well
Gets each penny I find
And every year I blow out every candle
And close my eyes
And wish you were mine
Oh if wishes came true
Then you would be mine
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqUJJiW9BNY


Twenty-five years ago today:

February 4, 1984, Saturday

Despite my independent outing last night I managed to make it to work by 7am. I worked up until 3:40pm. Eight full hours of placing customers on the SNP list. It was rather lax for a Saturday work day.

I called Nancy DeSilva to confirm our tentative date for tonight.
"Oh, I have to work...maybe next weekend," Nancy said.
I reacted smoothly with a mild "okay". Who knows? She has my telephone number now. She had said she'd lost my telephone number. I think that's "bull".

I called Paloma and she couldn't make it for tonight.
"Later for those wenches," I thought to myself. Shit!

After work I went out with my bicycle. My bike never says "no".

While I was riding I met Suzy Miller who in turn biked along with me. We toured the newly developed bike path on Shoreline Drive that extended on to the Crown Harbor area. It was an exhilarating ride.

Suzy and I decided to see a movie on this night. Her brother, Michael, came along and we all went to the Richmond Hilltop Mall to see 'Terms of Endearment'.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FygdJGLlzNM&feature=related
It was a sad, humorous and entertaining film. We ended up munching at Nations Burgers after the show. I shared bits of the 'gory details' of last nights' movie (Make Them Die Slowly) with Sue & Mike. They thought it was pretty gross. It was funny to see their expressions. We had a fun outing. They're special people.

When I returned home I watched bits of the candid camera "Friday Night Videos" that I had taped from last night until I fell asleep.

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Bizarre Love Triangle

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."
-Ogden Nash

It's time for a song. I loved this song when it was introduced by the group NEW ORDER. New Order is an English rock group formed in 1980 by the remaining members of Joy Division following the suicide of singer Ian Curtis.

There is a movie I recently added to my NETFLIX list called CONTROL. It is about the death of Ian Curtis. I look forward to watching this story.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c2_B_cWK_M

Listen to BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDD41R_5eR8

The lyrics:

Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Twenty-five years ago today:

Monday, January 30, 1984

I submitted my Pacific Bell ideas to the Division Staff Management today. Work went smoothly today. I told Susan, Pat, Mathilda and Ben a dirty joke (the one that ends 'but Mom...you told me not to talk with my mouth full'). Ben got a kick out of it.

I ate lunch at the Pot Belly Deli today.

Leslie Fonseca called me at around 4pm per Salima. I did not call her back. Am I a creep? I don't think so. I will call her when I am in the mood to do so.

I called mom on break to chat a bit. During break I told Salima and Rose that I may be (HOH) 'Head Over Heals' over Nancy. Am I really?

After work I cruised via bicycle to Dad's and ate a couple of tuna sandwiches. I was back home before one could blink an eyelash. The phone rang within minutes of my entering my pad. It was Chris Cordellos.

Chris is interesting but I am worried about his back problem. It sounds very bad. We made definitive plans for a visit to Huntington Beach in June 'no matter what'. Chris tells me he has been considering art, fashion design, sewing and cosmetology as potential careers. He speaks so ambitiously of these fields. He seems to have a lot of ideas. The only problem is that he seems unsure as to where to turn and what to do. I am glad I am his friend. He appreciates my advice. He is always requesting my opinions.

The disc on Chris' lower back fell and may be touching his spinal cord.
"It may require an operation," Chris said.
"If you need it I think you better get it done soon," I advised.
"You're right. I have an appointment any minute," he confirmed.
I went on to share the two classes that I have decided to take at the College of Arts & Crafts in North Oakland.
"That sounds good," he interjected, "I still might move to Arcata, it's near Eureka."

Chris wants to do so many things. It will be interesting to learn when and where things will end up. Chris explained that he was calling me from Oak Knoll Hospital. Poor guy. I wonder if our 'no matter what' trip to Huntington Beach will actually happen.

Later that night I had another call from Chris.
"You won't believe it, Michael. I had a dream about you." he said.
"Really?" I asked, "What was it about?"
"Well, you got married." he announced.
It was funny to hear his words because I think I had the same dream but the bride was a blur. Was it Nancy? Was it Paloma? Who was it?

The 'powers that be' say that we dream about our problems and forecast solutions this way. How true is that? I wonder if (and when) I'll ever marry? I am a bit curious to know. Then again I am willing to wait longer than usual for that 'big step'. If Barbara Reynolds (age 38) and Helen Wong (age 35) have remained single all of this time then why can't I just be happy and 'wait n' see'? What is going to happen? How is it going to be? I will just remain happy for now.

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Dancing Through Some Memories

I heard a song during the drive up to Northern California and I fell in love with the lyrics and melody of this tune once again. It has been a song I have loved for a long time. It's pretty special how a single song can flood back memories.

My friend, Carson, who now has a blog inspired me to write a blog every so often about a song. He likes writing a blog based on a song each day. I love that idea. And so, today I chose this tune, "Hey Eugene".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjtekYzkZD4

"Hey Eugene" is based on a true story. China Forbes met a guy named Eugene while dancing in a New York City nightclub. There were fireworks of mutuality and physical attraction when they first met on that night of dancing. And yet, they never saw one another again. I guess Eugene lost her telephone number. Don't we all have a story that is reminiscent of that...or a variation of?

China Forbes is the lead singer for the group PINK MARTINI. Her voice is fabulous. Alan and I were blown away when we saw the group perform at CARNEGIE HALL back on June 21, 2007. I just did an online search and learned that they are playing once again at CARNEGIE HALL on June 18, 2009. I really want to be there.
http://shorefire.com/blog/2007/06/everybody-loves-pink-martini.html

I shot this candid photo of a guy in Soho, NYC (illustrated above) and I just NOW decided to call him "Eugene". If you want to sing-a-long to the tune here are the lyrics:

Hey Eugene do you remember me?
I'm that chick you danced with two times through the Rufus album Friday night at that party on avenue A:
where your skinhead friend passed out for several hours on the bathroom floor and you told me
You weren't that drunk, and that I was your favourite Salsa dancer you had ever come across in New York city

Eugene
Eugene
Eugene
I said hello Eugene
Are you there Eugene

Hey Eugene then we kissed once we lobbed your friend into the elevator and went to write my number on a soggy paper towel
And the car went down
And when we had finished making out we noticed that your skinhead friend was gone. Long gone
And you looked into my bloodshot eyes and said is it too soon if I call you Sunday

Eugene
Eugene

Eugene
I said hello, Eugene
Are you there, Eugene

I said hello (hello), Eugene (Eugene)
Eugene (Eugene)
Eugene (oh yeah)

I said hello (hello), Eugene
Are you there, Eugene (tell me are you there)

I said hello (hello), Eugene (Eugene)
Eugene (Eugene)
Eugene (tell me oh)

I said hello (hello), Eugene (Eugene)
Does any of this ring a bell Eugene?

Twenty-five years ago:

I awoke early to accomplish the nuisance errand of getting my flat tire repaired.
After the chore was complete I returned home and went on a brisk, relaxing bicycle ride. I stopped by Suzy Miller's pad on my bike. We spontaneously went over to OLE's WAFFLE SHOP on Park Street for breakfast. We love that place. We browsed at Tammy's Antiques next door. We saw some local high school acquaintances (Clayton Case and Maureen Dixon). It's funny how you run into folks from high-school. It happens so randomly. The other day I saw Anthony Battu working as a cashier at SAFEWAY.

After breakfast I rode my bike back home from Suzy's pad. I was surprised to find my mom at the townhouse doing her masterful cleaning. She is too sweet.

I called Bill Helbush but he wasn't home. I gave up on that. After ordering a few items from the SPIEGEL catalog and cleaning out my closet I ended up getting a return phone call from Bill. He sounded like he had just woke up (2pm).
"I did just wake up," he said.
I got those quiet (don't want to tell you about last night) vibes.
I said "later" in my mind to our previously made plans of going to the International Book Store in San Francisco. I have also said "later" in my mind to Bill's values and direction in...(whatever direction we were going).

I went bicycle riding again. It exhilarates me and relieves my anxieties. Unfortunately, I got a flat tire (on my bike this time). Luckily, the mishap took place in front of Suzy's apartment complex on Shoreline Road. Suzy was cleaning. I stuck around and ran into Jim (the guy Suzy is sort of seeing how lives in the same apartment building).

Suzy was kind enough to give me a ride home in her car. My parents had just left. John was watching TV (The Doberman Gang).
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnuRQR-3Ui8
Suzy left after she did some browsing in my Entertaining Cookbook. After she left I went to mom's house to 'pork out' on her Spanish pozole.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pozole

When I returned home I received a phone call from Sherri Lewis. We discussed the happiness she (and everyone) felt over the announcement from John about the new baby. She said she felt kind of "iffy" about the marriage part. She said she's not sure what's going to happen. There is no question what is going to happen around mid-May 2004 though...a baby will be born.

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What Good Is a Dream ?

"What harm is dreaming, if it eases pain?
What good is reality if it blots out hope?--Bette Bao Lord in her epic novel about China called SPRING MOON

Do you ever remember your dreams? I would like to remember all of mine but it seems as soon as I open my eyes the pictures and stories are completely gone. I need to keep telling myself I will remember them. The vivid ones where I actually see my mother or father are 'heavy' because they seem all too real. Then I wake up and I realize I cannot just pick up the phone or run over to see them anymore.

Dreams are good. I photographed the above young man in Central Park randomly in November 2008. I have a feeling he was dreaming his problems (if any) away. There are a few songs that come to mind that I love that relate to dreams. Do you know "IN DREAMS" or "DREAM LOVER" or "DREAM WEAVER"?

1. In Dreams
by Roy Orbison (circa 1963)

I believe I fell for this song after seeing the classic cult film BLUE VELVET.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-DjluKLY14
A candy colored clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper,
"Go to sleep, everything is alright."
I close my eyes then I drift away
Into the magic night
I softly say a silent prayer
Like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you
In dreams I walk with you
In dreams I talk to you
In dreams you're mine, all the time
With you ever in dreams, in dreams
But just before the dawn
I awake and find you gone
I can't help it, I can't help it
If I cry
I remember that you said goodbye
It's too bad that all these things
Can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams

2. Dream Lover
by Bobby Darin (circa 1959)

There was always something special about his voice when I heard this one on the oldies but goodies station.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdLn-QhRSB4
Every night I hope and pray
A dream lover will come my way
A girl to hold in my arms
And know the magic of her charms
'Cause I want a girl
To call my own
I wanna dream lover
So I don't have to dream alone
Dream lover, where are you?
With a love, oh, so true
And the hand that I can hold
To feel you near as I grow old
'Cause I want a girl
To call my own
I wanna dream lover
So I don't have to dream alone
Someday, I don't know how
I hope she'll hear my plea
Someway, I don't know how
She'll bring her love to me
Dream lover until then
I'll go to sleep and dream again
That's the only thing to do
Till all my lovers dreams come true
'Cause I want a girl
To call my own
I wanna dream lover
So I don't have to dream alone
Dream lover until then
I'll go to sleep and dream again
That's the only thing to do
Till all my lovers dreams come true
'Cause I want a girl
To call my own
I wanna dream lover
So I don't have to dream alone
Please, don't make me dream alone
I beg you, don't make me dream alone
No, I don't wanna dream alone

3. Dream Weaver
by Gary Wright (circa 1976)
This was one of those songs I liked as a teenager. It sort of took me away on a kaleidoscope, imaginary escape.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk4qeCT-RFk
I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind
Ooh dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooh dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light
Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today's pain
Though the dawn may be coming soon
There still may be some time
Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
And meet me on the other side
There is simply something romantic about these songs. I guess that is why I like them.

Twenty-five years ago today:

December 19, 1983

Work went over just fine except for the fact that my 'secret angel' forgot me. During the holidays every employee in my department secretly picks a name in our group and each employee is responsible for leaving a little gift on the desk of their respective 'secret angel'. I was forgotten.

On the bright side, Salima Nasardeen-Hamilton and I flew paper airplanes from one cubicle to another during non-busy times. We complimented one another on how "HOT" lookin' we were. It was rather amusing. Salima is married to her very own "Michael".

I received a message from Tammy Duhr. I believe she received my Christmas Card. I returned her call when I arrived home and we made tentative Thursday night plans. I also had an answering machine message from Steve Ficarra. He was also thanking me for the Christmas Card. We talked about getting together after the holidays.
Bill Helbush called and thanked me for his "Hershey Kiss" card. We made tentative arrangements for this Thursday night. I guess I might be going out with Tammy or Bill on Thursday night.

I exercised some and called Pac Bell repair service co-worker pal, Nici Maurino. She's always good for some enlightening conversation. She told me abour her weekend and of some big cigar smokin' fellow she met. We made a tentative arrangement for seeing the new CHER movie 'SILKWOOD' on Wednesday night.

I called Juanita Lane (another co-worker at the Business Office) and we discussed work life and her temporary management status assignment. We talked about the possibility of going out sometime. We shared gossip ideas about 'secret angels' and guessed who may have picked who.

I called David Vigil (another co-worker at the Business Office) and we talked about going to Los Angeles for New Years Eve. It could prove fun and interesting. We may go. I think we'd have a good time. He is such a femme fatale though.

I guess George's so-called business is now defunct. I felt sorry for him. He told me to call him again before Christmas but I don't think I will be doing that. After all, there is Juanita, Nici, Tammy, Alexis, Suzy, David, Bill, Mike, Steve and 'God knows who else' (Helen?) all taking up my time in terms of dates, outings and 'what have you'.

It was rather strange when I called Alexis tonight. She said she was just waking up from a dream. She promised to call me right back. She added that if she didn't call back she would call me tomorrow. She never called me.

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