A Bit Suffocating

"Marriage is a fine institution--but who wants to live in an institution?"-Groucho Marx

Twenty-five years ago today:

April 3, 1985
Wednesday Night

I woke up very sore but prepared for my work day anyway.
"I can fix it," Dale said.
Dale gave me a massage while I had my pants on because I was feeling so sore. I bet he loved giving me the mini-massage. Every time I sat down or got up I'd feel the soreness in my gluteus maximus. While it hurt I knew it was doing me good.
"It's a good pain," I kept telling myself. "I should do more aerobics classes."

I telephoned Paloma.
She said, "I miss you. I love you. I thought of you when I saw 'Falcon and the Snowman'. It is showing here in Paris."
"It is?"
"Yes, and I even heard the Red Wine song here in Paris."
"Did you get my cards?"
"Yes, I got three of them. I may be arriving in L.A. on April 11th."
"That would be great."
We didn't talk long. It was long-distance. I wonder if we will marry after all?

I left a message on Jim Koran's answering recorder.
"Hi Jim, I was just wondering if you might be coming up here--or not--this weekend. Give me a call when you get a chance."

For lunch, Dale, Mary and I ate as Coco's and did some general 'gabbing' about last night's flat tire. We joked about each other's nervous habits and characteristics.

After work, Dale and I went to GRAND AUTO and we changed my fuse so the horn and clock would work. Dale was kind enough to accompany me. He's so kind. What a pal! I love his quality "pal-ship".

I get a kick out of Guy Grivet, a fellow coworker. I notice with the corner of my eye when he looks my way. Dale may be talking to me or something and he notices that Guy is observing, too. We just go on in a nonchalant way.
Dale confirmed. "I despise him."
He has had some previous work-related 'not-so-great' experiences with him.

After the fuse was changed in my car we went home to my pad.

Steff arrived shortly after Dale left. The San Francisco Examiner newspaper collector had just left as well. Steff finally came to visit me and brought a lemon meringue pie, six dozen farm fresh eggs, lasagna, homemade bread, and Armijo High School seat-cushion, a Hawaii T-shirt and two ARMIJO High T-shirts.
"This is all for me?" I asked with a surprised look on my face.
"Yes, siree."
I was kind of surprised and at the same time quite aware. She did mention all of this but I was leery of it all. She is so nice but so uncertain with her constant talk.
I thought to myself, "This is so nice but you will remain my friend--and only a friend as far as I'm concerned."

Steff and I went to the DEPECHE MODE concert at the Henry J Kaiser Convention Center (formally known as the Oakland Auditorium). We walked around, scouting in awe of the 16-20 age group strange hairdo's with their up and coming fashion ideas. We sat upstairs a bit and then decided to crowd up front with all of the crazed fans. It suddenly got much too hot. I managed to get to the second row up in front of the stage. I was being squished by the crazed fans. It was a work out in itself. Every one was pressing against each other. It was kind of fun but a bit suffocating (unless you know how to breathe--like me).

There were quite a few MT's (My Types) in the crowd. In fact, there were so many lookers who looked at me. There were even a couple of shocked looks when it was clearly seen that I was with Steff. We looked so "OOP" (Out Of Place) together as a couple. Dale agreed that we were "OOP" one time. I think Dale's jealous of Steff and Paloma. He gives me a bit of an eerie aura now and then because he kind of likes me a bit more than he chooses to admit.

During the DEPECHE MODE concert I lost Steff for a period of time. It was because I was up in the front. We eventually found one another again. Then we both stood around eyeing the high-fashion, bizarre looks. We were even laughing at some of the ladies that were coming out of the bathroom with their hair all fixed up--but NOT fixed up because it was all messed out of place.

When we left the concert we were handed a flyer for an April 26th CHICAGO Concert.
"That's the one we have backstage passes for," Steff said.
Again, I'm still skeptical.

I was soon driving into my garage in Alameda and turned my motor off.
"So, do you want to spend the night?"
"Well, I have to pick up Tabitha."
"Okay, well...I'll walk you to your car."
It was silly but I got into her car and she insisted on driving me back to my garage. We called it a night. There were no kisses exchanged.
"Drive safely and be careful," I said as my last words.

I thought how I'd sold two 800/WATS lines and may have 16-20 800/WATS lines as an upcoming sale for a Medical Help Line situated in San Francisco. That would be one exciting sale. Dale hates how those type of sales just fall into my lap.
Dale says, "Yeah, I love how you get those when I have to work so tough for mine."
I simply laughed.

I was in the house by 10:30PM and chose to phone Dale.
"I just had to tell you about what Steff brought me...especially the farm fresh eggs."
"I still can't believe it," Dale said with amazing interest in his tone.
We had a lengthy talk about the DEPECHE MODE concert.
DEPECHE MODE means 'Fast Fashion' and I explained to Dale, "Yeah, so it really was a 'fast-fashion' event."

Dale got me to keep on talking about my sexuality and my NOT being open with Paloma.
"I've known Paloma much longer than I've known you," I said to Dale.
"I know--but you're changing the subject."
Dale says I often interrupt and change the subject while talking to people.
Dale asked, "So why have you never been open with Ryan about your bisexual feelings if you are attracted to him?"
"That's because we've never got to know one another on a one-to-one friendly basis--like I have with you. I don't just admit personal things about myself to mere acquaintances."
"Okay, I can relate to that."
"Good. Well, I'm hitting the sack. I'll see you tomorrow."
Yawn.

Is not LIFE the struggle of two forces?
-Honroe de Balzac
"Seraphita"