Never will I lose, though, the lovely impression it all left on my soul and it will ever lure me on to return and will not be satisfied until I am merged into that dream again. You are my inspiration.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"
Twenty-five years ago today:
February 26, 1985
Tuesday
I have low sales points today while Dale is selling away like mad.
There are exactly three more months left until my next Birthday. WOW! The big 26!
Steffanya received the pictures I sent her. She called me immediately.
"Michael, you can have my heart on a gold platter!"
I sent her the pictures that I requested her to mail for me to Ron, Ryan, Karyn, Elizabeth and mom around the time of the Diana Ross concert.
Which reminds me of a card of this cyclist that I received from Karyn Kossoff in August last year. I was re-reading it today. She wrote:
PHOTO: Cyclist on the Karyn Kossoff card
8-11-1984
Mike-
I saw this card and it reminded me of you, so I figured I'd send it. It's Saturday and we spent last night at Ryan's house, weird evening-maybe it was the full moon?
Well I hope you enjoyed your first experience of spending a night in S.F.; on a box spring.
We've been spending pretty much time together lately & I really enjoy your company-But...these frequent "one drink" happy hours are starting to get to me!
Well I guess I'll speak to you soon--.
Ciao,
Karyn
Steffanie continued to butter me up.
"Did you know we first met on January 16, 1985 over the phone?"
"No, was it that exact day?"
"Yes. And I'm looking at your photos and you look more like Erik Estrada. I don't want you to get too deep into the clouds."
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, you know...too stuck on yourself."
I laughed.
"I also planted your watermelon in my garden today."
I let her linger on until I managed to get off of the phone. I was working!
My supervisor, Stephanie, could tell I wasn't feeling up to par lately. Maybe it is because of my lagging sales. I have been in a bit of a downer mood. Maybe it's because I am unsure if I want Paloma, Steffanya, Jim or what?
I 'accidentally' read a couple of cards that my roommate, Marty, received from a gal who seems to be head over heels over him. It seems that Marty really is having an affair with a married woman with whom he works with and just happens to be his boss. My TAROT card reading was very precise about his predicament--it seems. Eerie.
My cohort, Hank Stuart and I talked a while today.
"Are you from the East Bay?"
"Yes, Alameda," I replied.
We enjoyed more little small 'get to know each other talk'. I think he's nice. It seems he will be turning thirty-five this year. He looks like he's only in his late twenties. He's nice despite the story Dale shared with me about him. Dale had said that Hank has lived with some man for years and years and years as a sort of slave, doing an uncountable number of sexual acts. Dale claims that Hank got this job because of this man, too. I refuse to prejudge and would rather learn the detailed facts on my own.
I confronted Dale today about the Dennis Reno rumor that I had learned about from my brother, Tony.
"It's a big joke. Now how do you think this happened?"
Dale's light-bulb went on and he said, "I'll look into it."
Dale confronted Cindy Chow and got her all tense about a rumor of an affair she may or may not have had with Joshua (in our office).
Dales is ecstatic about an idea to invite San Francisco Chronicle's Bill Mandell, the columnist, to our office. I am kind of glad that he is getting me involved with his little projects. He's really fun except for when he gets to the brink of my nerves!
"You're an owl, Dale."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you keep saying 'Who? Who? Who?' all the time in order to gain insights into other's personal lives."
"I see. Well, I have a lot compiling on you...and then some is on its way. I hope."
I was pretty tired after work, so I tried a nap before going to the gym.
Steffanya telephoned. "I am so INTO you now that I've seen you."
I should be flattered but now I am actually worried as to what to expect with her appearance.
"I dress nice and have one slight fault."
"Oh, what is that?" I asked most curiously.
"It's my..."
"Yeah?"
"It's my weight."
And so, now I wonder. Will I be sorry like Dale had warned me? I am documenting what I feel.
Paloma telephoned. We ended up going to the 24-Hour Nautilus gym in San Francisco together. I drove over to pick her up and we had fun. It was funny when she was coaching me on the bench press. I almost dropped ninety pounds plus over my chest. I couldn't get it off until Paloma helped. Thanks to Paloma's laughter and my laughter we ultimately had a good work out. I worked up a sweat. Paloma had the best female body around. I saw that black geek that eyed me last Friday when I was at this gym. He works in Priority Accounts at Pac Bell. I've seen him in my office building.
PHOTO: Paloma Sanchez-Guerra, 1985
Paloma and I ate at McDonald's in Albany. I made a joke about her holding the onions and the pickles on her Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
I suggested, "Why don't you hold the meat patty from the bun?"
She added, "Or the french-fries from the fries and salt only."
We had a good evening of laughter. I just find that Paloma is beginning to have this complex about talking about bodybuilding all the time. She even thinks she's getting boring.
I said, "That may be true."
I think I blew her away when I said that.
"Why don't you take up something new?"
I think Paloma called on me tonight because I had not been calling. I guess it's true. I had not been calling because last Saturday night she had told me about some 22 year old body builder who was going to rummage through magazines with her to go over the body parts that needed more work than others. And tonight, she showed me the business card of Mike Wyjack who is the bodybuilder we ran into the night we were at Baxter's in Concord. It seems he was rated number two last year in competitive body building. Wow!
I am Paloma's protege in the body building world. I like the body building but what I like is that I am doing it for myself--because I want to--not for Paloma or to please Paloma or the Body Building Federation.
It's a game you're playing with me, part seduction, part ordeal.
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"
fredag 26 februari 2010
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