45 Lessons Life Taught Me

"Worry is interest paid on trouble that has not happened yet."
-Meryl Streep
in the 2007 film "Dark Matter"

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
-Regina Brett, 90 Years Old
'The Plain Dealer', Cleveland, Ohio

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone or loving someone who
doesn't love you.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful..
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is
up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will
this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 18, 1985
Monday

Last night (Sunday) flew by and I was never able to finish my journal entry. I ended up meeting with Bill Helbush at Cafe San Marcos in San Francisco. I slowly sipped my usual White Russian cocktail. Bill and I talked a good while about his recent trip to Mexico (Puerto Vallarta). I guess it's 'the spot' as I remembered Ryan and Ron were going there soon.

We ate Italian food at Lucia's (?). We had a good talk there as well as a few arguments. For example, Bill accused me of being sensitive to myself, my own needs and not so sensitive to others. This was his blatant opinion. Obviously, he does not know me.
Bill said. "I believe that if you believe one way you won't change your mind or refrain from your beliefs...no matter what."
I found that to be objectionable.

Later...
"I'd like to go out with you some more," Bill suggested.
I am leery about the idea but said, "That sounds good."

The next phase of the evening was a stop over at 'Esta Noche', a kind of sleazy lookin' neighborhood Latino bar. We said our good nights between two 'Hell' bushes. He dropped me off at my car which was parked at Safeway on Market Street.

I arrived at mom and dad's house at 11:05PM. Mom and I watched a movie she had videotaped called "The Hollywood Wives". It was good, based on a Jackie Collins novel, starring Candice Bergen, Mary Crosby, Angie Dickinson, Suzanne Somers, Anthony Hopkins and Stephanie Powers. I loved it. It was so 'saucy'. I am now yearning for a visit back to Los Angeles. It was depicted in the film as the glamor city.

Today...
I awoke this morning and dropped by my brother John's house. We had a chat, then we both went to mom's. I was so proud of myself for making breakfast on my own today, too.

Mom was a sweetheart for ironing all of my clothes.

Dad was on his period (cranky). That's the way Steffanie would describe it. So I left Dad and his mood swings. I lounged at home until Dale Orland happened to call.
"Hi Mike, do you want to go bike riding?"
"Okay Dale, come over."
Dale arrived at 2PM and we played Trivial Pursuit. We followed the game with dinner at Shenanigan's Restaurant. We laughed up a storm. It was fun playing Trivial Pursuit, too. We both learned a few things.

Steffanie Redding called several times during the day. Dale and Steffanie are my interchangeable newcomer friends in my life. They're both entertaining fun. They both know how to get information out of me. I cannot wait to meet Steffanie. She makes me smile during our telephone connections.

I watched Part II of "The Hollywood Wives" with mom. When I returned to my place I had a message from Paloma. I also had a message from a guy named Hank. He is a guy who placed an ad in a paper that I picked up at the Esta Noche Latin gay bar last night. I didn't bother to return his call.

I jerked myself a soda listing to "The Connector". It's a telephone number Dale gave me where guys leave recorded messages about their hidden desires. I found it fascinating. Leave it to Dale.

Her ability to gather information was sheer magic.
If there was any dirt to be dug up, she would home in on it like a cruise missile.
-Steig Larsson
"The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"