The Third Arrondissement

We construct our history in order to understand what we are now, that is all, it's a perfectly legitimate way of explaining things.
-Morag Joss
"Half Broken Things"

It's the last day of March 2010 and by the time this BLOG posts I will have been living in Paris, France since March 25th. I will have become familiar with the 3rd Arrondissement (75003) and the apartment at 16, rue Barbette.

I remember visiting PARIS for the first time in my life on September 3, 1985 and hearing this song called "Square Rooms" by Al Corley (of DYNASTY fame). I was so disconnected from the transition from my English language to the French language that I thought the song was in French (but it was actually in English).
Listen to "Square Rooms" (why on earth did I think it was French?):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsRdEjnlAb8

My French journal writing for 2010 is in full-gear and shall continue through June 30, 2010. I wonder what stories I will have. Time will tell.

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 31, 1985
Sunday

I received a postcard from Barbara Reynolds in Chicago, IL. The postcard depicted 'The birthplace of Ernest M. Hemingway, born in 1899, Oak Park, Illinois':

She wrote:
Dear MJA,
Chicago is a great town with amazing houses. This one reminds me of Alameda. The downtown areas are full of experimental architecture--five days not enough to see it all. Quite windy and snowy, having a great time.
Love,
Barbara

I took my bike for a ride from 9:30AM to 10:30AM, then had pancakes at mom's. Yummy.

I was on the Alameda beach from 11AM until 1PM, then went home and napped until 3:30PM. Mom was at Aunt Lela's baby shower, so I couldn't spend time with her like I wanted to do.

At 3:30PM I went for another bike ride and the beach was suddenly jammin' with people. I loved it. I got a high off of it as I cycled back and forth until 5PM. Then I went to mom's but she wasn't home yet. I tried napping again at her house when I heard the front door open at about 5:45PM.

Mom gave me the scoop.
"Michelle Armijo is due to have the baby in two weeks."
"Wow, that fast!"
"Yep, and Mona Armijo is pregnant again. Becky Ortega is getting married in June and she's two months pregnant, too."
"Wow, there's a lot goin' on."
"And I got there late and left late, and there was barely any food."
Mom cooked up some chicken and biscuits, so I enjoyed that as I poured myself an orange juice. Mom and Dad ended up going out to Mexicali Rose for dinner together while I watched A.D. I didn't feel like joining them because I was stuffed from my meal.

Tony came over and we didn't converse much. He's married to Helen now, though.
"Hmmmm," I thought.

I was at my place by 10:30PM. Dale was just about to go to bed but he gave me a message.
"Steff has tickets to see CHICAGO on the twenty-sixth of April," Dale advised.
"Oh really...whatever."

And it is fortunate that tomorrow will be a day on which, unlikely as it may seem, one will be able to see everything.
-Franz Kafka
"Description of a Struggle"

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Thinking Aloud

"Thinking aloud is a habit responsible for much of mankind's misery."
-Ben Franklin to John Adams
"John Adams" (2008 mini-series)

You Were On My Mind, a cool tune:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48i3Hyo1jgg

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 30, 1985
Saturday

I woke up much too early for mom and dad. They were still asleep, so I went for a non-stop morning bicycle ride along the South Shore beach from 9:30AM to 10:30AM. Then I went to visit mom to see if she was ready to come over to my house so we could "clean house" together. She 'was' ready. Hurrah! We revamped, vacuumed my pad and then went to South Shore where we checked out the new ROSS Store and walked through the mall. We browsed at wedding bands and began to realize that Tony and Helen were married yesterday!

I spoke to Helen this morning and she was talking about a coworker friend, Salima, who announced her pregnancy and then more recently her miscarriage. The fact that Helen brought this up led me to believe that she may--in fact--be pregnant. I think she may be halting the news until all signs look good and the first trimester has passed.

I took a nap after my lunch with mom. When I woke up I freshened-up and waited for Dale to come over. I expected Dale to bring his friend (Peter or Nick) but neither one of them showed up. And so, Dale and I got into his car (I was giving my car a rest today and plan to do the same tomorrow).

Dale and I stopped at John and Sherri's. Ashley was spending the night at Grandma's. Sherri's friend, Anna, was there. Dale and I invited them to join us to the movies but they took a rain check.

Anna has a good personality. I liked her. Dale felt the same way. Dale drove into San Francisco and we made it to Ryan Hargrave's apartment. The three of us went to see "Friday The 13th" Part 5. I had a hit off of a joint and it tasted "Yuckie".
I thought, "Never again."

Dale parked up a very steep hill and when we returned to the area Dale thought his car had been stolen.
"No, Dale! We're at the wrong corner!"
And sure enough, we found his car.

Co-worker Bob Gross and his pal, Tony, were at the Alhambra Movie Theater, too. We watched the movie with them. I began to feel sick after the frequent ax murders. Dale was biting his nails in the dark. I kept nudging his elbows to scare him during tense scenes.

I was remembering that I invited my mom to go with us to see this movie. She didn't want to go either.
Mom said, "Oh no, I have to wash my hair and get ready for Michelle Armijo's baby shower."
Michelle is married to my first cousin, Joey Armijo.

Ryan, Bob, Dale and I met at a bar after the movie called "The Cinch" and drank huge Long Island Iced Teas. They were four dollars each! They were good, too. We left Ryan there as he kept boozin' it.

Bob, Dale and I stopped at Burger King (and dropped Bob off somewhere afterwards).
Dale started to talk about Ryan while we were in the car.
"Ryan hustled two-hundred dollars while he was in New York."
"Really? How do you know?"
"He told me," Dale said excitedly, "Ryan has--in the past--prostituted forty-five thousand dollars and bought a condominium with the money. He's very proud of his feat."
"I can't believe it," I said, "I'm just shocked, I guess."
"Why?"
"I guess I just think it's gross that he belittled himself and chanced receiving all of those venereal diseases. Ugh...it amazes me. Ryan seems so...well, he seems so innocent."
Dale shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't knock him for it though," I continued, "I still like Ryan, he's such a friendly sort."

Dale took me straight home to Alameda. He wanted to be with his wife, Dee.

"In spite of everything, I still believe people are good at heart, even though I know what happened to the person who became famous for writing those words."
-The Diary of Anne Frank

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Curious

PHOTO: Tony & Helen,
Wedding Day,
March 1985

"Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired;
women, because they are curious; Both are disappointed."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 29, 1985
Friday

I made it to the parking lot this morning in good time. I was thinking of Chris Cordellos this morning. I wonder with whom his latest dealings are with these days.

Tonight, Sue and Mary want Dale and I to join them for a drink at Victoria Station. I don't think I will go. It depends on how I feel.

Yesterday, Dale was mentioning the idea of our getting a part-time job. He suggested maybe as waiters at some posh San Francisco restaurant. I'm tempted. A part of me thinks it's a good idea especially after Marty told me of all the great tips he made at some hot-shot restaurant in Sacramento.

I brought Ryan some pictures to see.

I am glad Dale gave me his mousse styling-gel to keep.

I also brought my TAROT Cards in to the office today. So I will probably have a harem of coworkers at my desk.

Work flew by on this Friday. Dale and I ditched (or stood up) Mary and Sue during our first break, lunch and last break (and at Victoria Station for drinks). Oh well. I went straight home and napped until 7:15PM. Then I went to the gym until 10:30PM or so.

I stopped by to visit Dad but he wasn't home. So I went home and crashed for the night. Just before I was going to hit the hay I got a call from Steff.
"I wanted to call to apologize, Michael."
"For what?"
"For saying you were a snob."
It just so happened I did hear her tell Dale that I was a stuck-up snob during a 3-way conversation. She didn't know I was on the line. It was all Dale's clever idea. After the apology we ended up having a nice chat. Then I went to bed. Yawn.


"Getting what you want may NOT be the best thing for a person."
-Dollhouse (2008)
Season I, Episode 3,
"Stage Fright"

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What's the Scoop ?

He had to be on his guard constantly to keep her from dominating him, from invading his inner privacy.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Mick had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys fifty acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name’s Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00."
"Great", says Mick, "after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks Thank you."
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking".
"Not a problem," says Mick. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em’."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.
"More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fighting’ too."
"Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right! I’ll be there. Thanks again."
"More’n likely be some wild sex, too."
"Now that’s really not a problem," says Mick, warming to the idea.
"I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don’t much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 28, 1985
Thursday

Today is Steffanie Redding Kovash's birthday. Lucky her on being twenty-six years old. I did not even bother to send her a Birthday card. I will call her though. That's for sure. It just wouldn't be nice if I didn't.

The Oakland Bay-Bridge toll area was havoc today. I left my house at 6:45AM and arrived at my SF parking lot at 7:40AM. I like getting to my parking-lot early so I can write in my journal. I want to send Paloma another card in France. I sent her the 'Black Panther' Card. I will send her the 'California topless wraparound girl' Card now.
I thought, "She'll like this card...I bet."

I have to call Bank of America and get my car loan insurance shit settled. I'm going to pay off my loan. I hate debts.

I did it. At lunchtime I received $2300 cash from Wells Fargo! I'm loaded so-to-speak. Ha! I made PATELCO Credit Union take the money and give me a cashier's check. Now I'm ready to deposit it and send off the check to pay off my car loan. Then I will only have my VISA and MasterCard to contend with (the total is roughly $8000). Maybe I should have sent the application in for the $5000 limit Great Western Premiere VISA card. I could use a little of that credit to reinvest into special savings at high rates. That's an idea.

For lunch, Dale and I made it to McDonald's. Tomorrow I don't have the money for "any thing". I don't think I will eat.

It was Steff's Birthday and I did call her to wish her a happy one.
She said, "A clown came in for me as a surprise."
I laughed and couldn't help but ask, "Did the clown strip for you?"
"No," she said in a clear loud voice.
"Had I known---and for the right price---I could've gone and stripped for you."
She laughed.

I was telling Mary and Sue that I was going to drive my roommate, Marty, to the SFO Airport tonight. They both perked up because they live in that area.
Mary exclaimed. "You know, Michael, we should meet at TGI Friday's after you drop him off!"
I learned later that night that Marty's flight wasn't taking off until half past midnight. So I left my place at 9:45PM. I called both Mary and Sue separately, explaining about the late timing and we decided on TGI Friday's for another time. I had a nice chat with both of them. I'm sure they both think I am MMT (My My Type)--but to me...Sue is NMT (Not My Type) and Mary is FBL (Fuckable).

Steff called and asked, "Would you meet me at the Hilltop Mall for a movie?"
I was sort of tempted by the spontaneity of the invitation.
"I have free passes," she said.
"Well, I have to take Marty to the airport...maybe another time."

I went to Sherri's to deliver a couple of items, including a notice to John that he has a postage due letter on-hold from delivery that requires seventeen cents. I think it's the letter I sent him with those pictures. Oh well, he should pay the seventeen cents (after all I developed the pictures and he still owes me forty-five dollars for Sherri's GIORGIO of Beverly Hills cologne). Damn! I need that spending money now.

I think I will send Paloma the 'Arm Wrestling Card' tomorrow. I don't think I will send any more after that because she may be coming back on April 11th. And if that happens she may not receive the additional cards!

After I took Marty to the airport I came home and went to bed. I was wondering about Sherri. She kept asking me questions.
"Are you going to marry Paloma?"
"Well, I really want to...I feel that I just don't know what will happen."

Tony and Helen are getting married tomorrow with a Justice of the Peace. It's just a quiet legal service. I wasn't even invited. What creeps. I wonder if mom's going or what? What's the scoop? The scoop is with them.

"I've opened up my heart so many times but now it's closed."
-Velvet Goldmine (1998 film)

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A Quaint Chat

"It all came out in a rush of words."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 27, 1985
Wednesday

I was running late and I left my house at 7AM instead of the usual 6:45AM because Dale was fidgeting around. I was tempted by his idea of having breakfast somewhere. Alas, there was no time for it.

I was welcomed in to work and sweet Karyn Kossoff lent me a dollar for my parking space. Hurrah!

Work was great. I made some more connections and actually sold one Outgoing WATS line for thirty-five sales credit points. I had a total of forty-nine sales credit points by the end of the day. I also have a PREMIERE Calling Services order pending.

Once I settled into my desk, Carl Brooks consoled me after I gave him some tidbit news (in-between our customer phone calls) about Paloma flying back to France.
"Her being gone is a test for both of you. If it's meant to be...it will be."
"I guess you're right."
"She probably won't have any trouble coming back to the U.S. because Western Europeans are always welcomed here," Carl said.

After work I went straight home and napped until 7:20PM. I did muster up some energy to go to the gym. The usual crowd was there including Russ and Mr. Manhattan Beach. I worked out and made it home by 9:30PM for the latter portion of tonight's DYNASTY's episode.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xU3eCpuou0

Dale telephoned.
"Hi, how was the gym?"
"Good. Did I tell you Bruce called me yesterday?"
"No, what did he say?"
"He wants to get together."
"So...what are you going to do?"
"I want to shun him off somehow."
"I'm sure you can think of something."
"Well, my excuse for this Thursday is true because I'm pretty sure I'm most likely driving Marty to the San Francisco airport."
"Oh...you know, Marty and I had a quaint chat yesterday morning."
"I'm sure you did."
"Don't you want to hear about it?"
"Not really. I'm just glad that Marty will be away in L.A. all weekend."

I used Dale's mousse hair product to make my hair look wet. I like the stuff. He left it at my house along with his umbrella. I wonder if he left them on-purpose just so he would have to come back here.

There's an unkind saying that it takes one to know one, and it's almost true.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

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Spontaneous Plans

"We are the sum of a huge number of free actions for which we are the only ones responsible."
-Matthew Richard
& Trinh Xuan Thuan

It's about time I posted this recipe. It's great for spontaneous baking.

Mom's M&M Cookies Recipe

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups M&M plain or peanut candies

1. Preheat oven to 375*F (190*C).
2. In medium bowl combine flour, soda and salt, mixing well; set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugars together with electric mixer; add eggs and vanilla and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Stir in flour mixture and candies until just combined. Do not over-mix.
4. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets, about 2-inches apart.
5. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges just begin to turn golden brown. Do not over-bake! Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies. (Add extra chopped walnuts for a more healthy crunch)

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 26, 1985
Tuesday

I only had two Touch Tone line sales all day today. I made some good sales connections for the future though. If only they call me back sooner versus later.

For lunch I was going to stop into Wilkes-Bashford but decided against it. It was pouring rain.

I only put $2.80 instead of $3.00 in my park n' lock parking space this morning. I was short twenty-cents. Oh well.

At ten minutes to five o'clock I received a call from Dale Orlando.
"Meet me at the Hyatt Regency when you get out of work," Dale implored.
I barely had a chance to respond but I did decide to meet him. I also met Pamela (a future second-line Pac Bell Manager) and Gail Friend Cadman. They were nice and a lot of fun. Dale was able to get them talking a lot about personal things like 'dick size', a menage a trois, etcetera. He's too much!

Dale and I went up to their hotel room and had a few drinks. Pamela had the hots for me but she was NMT (Not My Type).

Dale and I left at about 9PM or so. We settled at my pad where we felt utterly exhausted. I went to bed but it was about one o'clock in the morning when I was awoken by Dale's snoring. I went to sleep downstairs.

I made a call to France last night but didn't get to speak to Paloma. I think I spoke to her mom but I didn't understand anything except, "Paloma", "Avion", and "Examino".
I just said, "Enchante."

"I realized that the future is just an illusion. You talk about your plans but the fact of the matter is that you can only live right now, this very minute. I always think there's your plan, and there's GOD's plan, and your plan doesn't matter."
-David Geffen
"The Operator:
David Geffen Builds, Buys, and Sells the New Hollywood"
by Tom King

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Places In The Heart

"Call me when you get lonely."
-Up In The Air (2009 Film)

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 25, 1985
Monday

While I was in the shower the telephone rang. It was Paloma.

I called her back. She was taking a 9AM flight to France. She has a return flight scheduled for April 11, 1985.
"The return flight is 'up in the air' as far as I can tell," Paloma said.
"I miss you already."
Once again, time will tell what the future holds.
I said, "Have a good flight, I love you."
"Me too," she said.
My heart is soft in feeling.

I was hanging-out at the Car Pool Parking lot, waiting for Tim and Al to show up when Dale suddenly came by.
"I'm on my way to Oakland for a special Training Sales thing."
I began to wonder if Dale brought me here as a ploy for me to be late. Tim and Al never showed up. The creeps (or was it all Dale's doing?). I ended up getting to work in the nick of time (8:30AM sharp).

Work was a drag today. My sales weren't too sharp. As for lunch...well, I went for a walk to Market Street. I dropped in to see Gilbert Hernandez, the modeling agent. He was busy with some geeky male model. I left after a mere simple "hello". I decided to go to Carl's Jr. for a burger and shake.

Sue and Mary joined me for the afternoon break.
"I have another piece of gossip for you," I said.
"What?" Mary said as her eyes perked up.
"Okay, but you have to promise you wont' tell Dale I told you."
"We won't...tell us," said Sue.
"Dale is only twenty-one years old."
"What? There's no way," Mary said. "I can't understand why he's so sensitive about that."
"I know but he doesn't want anyone to know."
"We'll keep our promise, won't we Mary?" Sue questioned Mary with a mysterious eye.
Mary asked, "Do you think Dale and his wife are having problems?"
"It's so funny you should mention that because Dale said he planned on looking for an apartment in Alameda this summer!"
"He did?"
"Yeah, it beats me as to what's going on with him."

I sent Paloma another card. The one with the skyline view of people lying out on the beach. It ought to remind her of our day in Santa Cruz.

Dale gave me an "Oh Sigh" kind of card which reminded him of me and my 'frequent rosy palm dealings'. That's his phrase for jerkin' off.

After work I went to Dad's and watched the ACADEMY AWARDS there. It was okay. "Amadeus" cleaned up and Sally Field won the Best Actress Oscar for "Places In The Heart".
1984 Oscar Winners: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpqp6mayfxU

I went to the gym after the Oscars. It didn't feel like such a good work out because I had just eaten a couple of hours before.

Some gal who works at the gym was being very friendly with me. She's cute. I felt guilty, looking and wondering about this gal with Paloma being a few countries away.

By 10:30PM I was in the gym shower and the Jeffrey Burr older lookalike was there as well.
At first I thought, "Ugh". Then I thought, "Yummm".
It's eerie. This is the third or forth time he's been in the showers with me at the same time and I don't believe it's a coincidence. I finally talked to him near the locker area.

I said, "You must come here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."
He replied, "Yeah, that's right."
I smiled. "You start to see the regulars around here after a while."
He smiled back and 'that was that'.

I drove home and telephoned Dale. He had some scoop.
I said, "Bring a second set of clothes so you can spend tomorrow night at my pad."
"Okay, will do."
We are going to show two girls from San Diego the San Francisco sights. Dale had said that he met them through the Sales Training course on Hegenberger Road in Oakland. It could be fun.
Dale was excited and said, "One of the girls is A-Okay and the other is really cute."
"Sure, we'll see."

"Live the wonderful life that is in you!
Let nothing be lost upon you.
Be always searching for new sensations."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

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Forever Young

She was now forty years of age, childless, and with that inordinate passion for pleasure which is the secret of remaining young.
-Oscar Wilde
"Lord Arthur Savile's Crime"

"Forever Young" Music Video & Lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7CuJ8cR9sg

Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men
Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune
The music's played by the madman

Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever
Forever young

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don't they stay young
It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 24, 1985
Sunday

I woke at 8:30AM and I picked up the phone to call Dale Orlando.
"I just wanted to let you know that things are all right. I took Ron straight home on Friday night, then I went to the gym."
It didn't happen exactly that way but that's the way I explained it.
"Oh, you did, did you?"
"Yeah, but I have to tell you about Paloma."
I explained the Paloma 'Air France' news.
Dale blurted out his own scoop.
"I was with Denise and Ryan, helping Ryan move yesterday to his new Residence Club Home on Larkin Street."
"Oh, I think I know where that is," I said, thinking of Gilbert Hernandez, the modeling agency guy who lives near there.
"I may go to San Francisco later. Do you want to go?"
"I don't know."
"Well, Ryan and Ron beat each other up on Friday night. Ryan got home at two-thirty in the morning. And Ron got home at twelve-thirty but I think it was more like eleven o'clock."
I know Dale specified the earlier time to nab me about my earlier words of taking Ron straight home on Friday night. I didn't say a word.

I telephoned Paloma.
"What's new?"
"Well, now I maybe leaving for Paris tomorrow morning."
"I'm going to miss you."
I didn't know what else to say. Dale's advice was to inspire Paloma and let her be excited about this new job opportunity. So, when I called her I pretended that it was ever-so-exciting that she was going back for this big break.
"At least you'll see your dog, Greyhound, that you haven't seen for two and a half years."
Eugene has been caring for the dog all of this time. Eugene is the guy she lived with for six years. I wonder if they'll end up back together.

I went to ma and pa's for breakfast. They were going on and on about how they cut the lawn yesterday all by themselves. The lawn did look very green and well manicured.

I drove to MacArthur BART station and picked up Dale after all. I drove to San Francisco and saw Ryan and his new pad. It's okay. We didn't stay long because Ryan had boxes to open and things to sort out on his own. Dale and I went to HEADLINES to browse at the cool cards they have. Then we went to American Rag and laughed aloud about the outrageous prices for used clothing. Our next stop was the Hard Rock Cafe.

After lunch I bought a black blazer and a sweater at the Third Avenue shop that will be closing soon. We departed not long after. I dropped Dale at the MacArthur BART station and he liked my "Happy Man" song by The Greg Kihn Band.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWB_mJEOMjI&feature=related
He also liked my YAZ tunes. He really really loves Alphaville (Big In Japan) as does Paloma.

I almost cried when I heard "Forever Young" by Alphaville when I learned (last night) from Paloma about how much she loved it. After all, it was one of the primary tunes from the VISION QUEST movie we saw. VISION QUEST was the second to the last movie we saw together. WITNESS was the latest.

I went to mom's and hung out for a while, then decided to return to my pad to wash clothes. I wrote cards out to a few special friends as the washing machine was doing its spin and rinse. I wrote one to Jim Koran (the ThunderBird Card), Paloma (the bodybuilder girl card) and to my brother John (the golf green card).

The phone rang and it was Dale.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's me. Do you want to meet me, Tim and Al at the Car Pool parking lot tomorrow morning?"
"Sure, that sounds good to me."

I am wondering about Ron Shelly (Ryan's ex). What is up with him?

I may drop into Wilkes-Bashford tomorrow afternoon. Second thought, I just remembered that Bob Umland is off on Monday's. So I may scratch that idea.

I am tired now. I want to talk to Paloma again. She said she'd call to keep me informed. I want to take her to the San Francisco Airport when she leaves for France. I really do.

"I belong in the dark.
In the dark it's safe. I can love in the dark.
In the dark I'm beautiful."
-Apartment Zero (1988)

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Red Red Wine

"Every day is a chance to be better."
-Dollhouse, Season I
Episode 4, Gray Hour (2008)

Original Music Video to "Red Wine" by UB40:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gaixi53gOg&feature=fvw

"Red Red Wine"
lyrics

Red, red wine
Goes to my head
Makes me forget that I
Still need her so

Red, red wine
It`s up to you
All I can do I`ve done
memories won`t go
memories won`t go

I just thought that with time
Thoughts of you would leave my head
I was wrong, now I find
Just one thing makes me forget

Red, red wine
Stay close to me
Don`t let me be in love
It`s tearin` apart
My blue, blue heart

I just thought that with time
Thoughts of you would leave my head
I was wrong now I find
Just one thing makes me forget

Red, red wine
Stay close to me
Don't let me be in love
It's tearin' apart
My blue, blue heart


Twenty-five years ago today:

March 23, 1985
Saturday

The phone rang at 8:30AM and it was Paloma. She had just awoken as well.
"I'll be over in an hour and a half, OK?"
"Okay," I replied and got up to wash my car while Marty sat around looking through magazines.

Paloma arrived at 10AM and I went to mom's to deliver my new slacks so she could hem them (as promised). We made our greetings and were off to hit the road. Smart me took Paloma's directional advice, so we went over the San Mateo Bridge and then via Highway 101 and on to Highway 17 all over again. We'd have been in Santa Cruz an hour sooner had I remained on Highway 17 to begin with. Oh well, we learn from our mistakes.

We had a good time. Paloma and I laid out on the beach which was quite relaxing. It's one of my favorite things to do (Paloma, too). I gave her the code information for MT (My Type), NMT (Not My Type) and FBL (Fuckable). We started playing the game with passers by that turned up on the beach.

One Santa Cruz guy asked me, "Is she your girlfriend?"
"Yeah," I replied.
"I've got to hand it to you," he said with a wink.

Paloma and I fidgeted through a few bathing suit shops. We saw better looking people on the Santa Cruz Boardwalk than we did on the beach. We figured it was because they all had more clothes on. We laughed. We took some great pictures of one another. I can't wait to see them.

We had a milkshake and sandwich on a french baguette roll at a neat shop. It was such a beautiful day.

After a few rides on the caged Ferris wheel and the speedway we headed for Los Gatos for dinner at The Good Earth. It was good there, too (despite the lonely lesbian sitting across from us who was eyeing Paloma).

From Los Gatos we made it to San Lorenzo's Black Angus. We both sipped on White Russians. We had red wine with dinner. It reminded me of that UB40 song called "Red Wine" as we sipped it with dinner.
"This place reminds me of Baxter's," Paloma said.
"They're all the same. That's how it is in the U.S."

We went back to my house after dinner and shared some voluptuous kisses. We had the ultimate tanned bodies. Paloma went home soon after.
I said, "I'll call you tomorrow."

I drove over to mom's house and started to watch Farrah Fawcett in a movie called "The Burning Bed". I was too tired to get into it, so I returned to my pad. I found Marty home when I arrived. He was cooking 'heaven knows what'. I had just missed a phone call from Paloma.
Marty said, "She said it was urgent."

I called Paloma back immediately only to learn that she had frightfully good news.
"Michael! I received the letter from Air France! They want to see me...to interview me and give me uh, uh, a test this Wednesday...IN France!"
"Oh my God, what are you going to do?"
"I'm flying on Monday light."
The way she was talking made me feel as though she was shaking. It was like she was so nervous about going. She's not sure if it will be that easy for her to return to the United States.
"You may need to come in two weeks to marry me," Paloma said.
I was silent and felt rushed about it all.
While in Santa Cruz Paloma had asked me, "If we got married do you think it would be the same? Would it be as fun?"
"Yes, you're the only one," I replied.
I seriously felt I would marry her at this point. She's a sweetheart.

At first, I didn't know how to react when she said, "I'm going to France."
I wonder if I should go in April...or July...or September...to France. I wonder what will happen?

Paloma has no idea what she is going to do with all of her 'stuff'. After the exciting talk I reassured her.
I said, "We both need to sleep on it. Try not to worry."

Wild how your emotions change in an instant.
...
I try to keep thinking that maybe I've had my share of rotten surprises for the time being, and maybe some of the surprises coming up will just have to be good ones.
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times"
-

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Fascinating Interest Stories

"He just storms if he doesn't get what he wants right away."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 22, 1985
Friday

I drove into The City and Dale was there at the parking lot not long after I had arrived. He had a meeting with Terry Mulready (our fourth line manager).
Dale advised, "I want you to know that I gave some complimentary comments about you."
"You're so kind, Thank you! Maybe I'll be making Fourth line management bucks one day."

Dale and I went to Wendy's and talked. I tried to get some information from him about Ryan Hargrave's fascinating interest stories. He wouldn't budge.

Karyn Kossoff wrote me a note later and asked if I was going to The Oasis tonight.
Later on, Dale whispered, "Karyn met some guy named Andy from Campbell and she is planning on having him join her at The Oasis."

I gave Bob a ride home, then Ryan, Dale and I went to Don Juan's Mexican Restaurant. We had margaritas and chips n' dip after we 'moussed up' our hair in the bathroom. Emmy, Al, Tom, Jennifer, Richard and Chris (all co-workers) were at the restaurant, too. We joined them and cracked jokes.
Emmy said, "Michael, I'd love to go for a ride in your car one day."

Steff called me at work and we are supposedly going to the BAMMIE Awards tomorrow night at 7:30PM. I don't know.

I telephoned Paloma and verified our plans to leave for Santa Cruz tomorrow morning at nine o'clock in the morning (after I wash my car).

After Don Juan's Restaurant we went to The Oasis and it was a lot of fun.
I thought it was rather brave of me to say to Eileen, "See any Englishmen around?"
Karyn confessed, "I was hesitant about bringing Andy here to the club because of you. I still want us to be close friends no matter what happens."
"I feel the same way."
"And I want you to call me," she added.

I thought her boyfriend from Campbell (Andy) was a "geek". I guess I wasn't really jealous. I know I didn't want to see her with that "geek" though. Does that mean I was jealous?

Denise was so sweet.
Surprisingly, Denise said, "Michael, I like your effervescent personality,"
I also liked Michelle Falls. She's too cool. I like that she listens to KQAK radio, too.

I met a gal named Carolyn who was with her sister, Leah. I met another gal named Michelle.
Dale loves controversy as he said to Michelle, "Ron and Ryan are lovers."
A bit later...
Carolyn said to me, "I thought you were gay, too when I saw you give your telephone number to that German fella, Buzz."
I laughed it off. "Oh, Buzz is in the Navy. I was just being friendly."
"Are you gay?"
I felt mad 'inside' when Carolyn asked me that question because I thought it was Dale that was responsible somehow. I became a bit defensive and got a little pissed.
I told Carolyn and Leah, "You know, Dale's true age is twenty-one."
Dale got pissed.

We had all been dancing earlier on the glass top dance floor over the swimming pool. Ron Shelly came by to chat. He's too nice.

Ron, Dale and I decided to go and see the TV show DALLAS. We left for Ron's apartment. While Dale was in the bathroom Ron and I exchanged glances and the margarita-filled influence took effect. We kissed a bit. I've always considered Ron a good friend. I have always wondered about him but never made any moves. At this point, I think it was a mutual move.

When Dale came out of the bathroom we pulled apart and played out like good boys. Since DALLAS was not on we all decided to return to The Oasis. Ron wanted to ditch Dale and go to my place but we didn't end up going there. I stayed at The Oasis and Ron and I went outside to talk. Dale came outside, looking kind of steamed and upset.
Dale interrupted with anger. "I thought you had ditched me."
"You know, Dale...Ron and I are talking."
Dale tightened his lip and walked back into the club.
Ron said, "I think I should leave."
It was clearly a question of will I leave, too, but I was leery about it. Just then I heard Carolyn's pretty voice.
"Mike," Carolyn screeched, "Dale is upset."
Suddenly, Ron and I were giving Carolyn compliments about how good she looked.
"We should keep in touch," I said as she went ahead and took my telephone number and gave me hers. I thought Carolyn was being very nice and she is pretty cute, too. Her telephone number is 415-755-9793. She went back inside the club and told Dale that we were outside waiting for him.

Meanwhile, Ron and I went to my car and we kissed a bit, then we played good because I felt I saw Dale from the corner of my eye. I did. Dale got inside the car and I dropped him off at the Civic Center BART station. I gave Dale the impression that I was dropping Ron off at his apartment, then going to the SF gym. In reality, Ron and I went to a private viewpoint that he knew about. We got out and looked at the view.
Ron said, "Yeah, so Ryan is moving out tomorrow."
"Oh, it must be hard to deal with that."
"Oh no, I'm glad of the idea. We haven't been intimate since September. There are things about Ryan that I could tell you...but perhaps another time."
"For instance...like what?"
"Well, he was a prostitute in San Francisco at one time and he did things like that while he was raised in an upper middle class town in Oregon."
"Oh, I see," I remarked with an air of surprise.

It was feeling chilly and we went back inside my car. One thing led to another and the windows got steamed and frosty. It was embarrassing when some people passed by...they obviously knew something steamy was going on.

Ron said, "I have wanted to call you so bad last weekend. I've thought about you a lot and never made a move."
"You have?"
"Yeah, I'm glad you're not with Karyn anymore."
I had to defrost the windows. I started up the car and I didn't really say too much more, but I did drive Ron home.

I was home in Alameda by 1AM. I went to bed, remembering I was going to Santa Cruz tomorrow with Paloma.

"...you have done your best to destroy everything I've accomplished.
I'm bewildered.
I simply can't understand it."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

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Scandals

I love scandals about other people,
but scandals about myself don't interest me.
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 21, 1985
Thursday

PAYDAY and the First Day of Spring! Today is my last day of fun with 800/WATS Sales Training. It's so laid back. It's like a mini-vacation for me.

I've been driving-in to The City each day. So far so good.

Dale Orlando and I had a 2-Hour lunch. We walked along the waters edge and gave ratings on people that passed by:
MMT: My My Type
MT: My Type
PBL: Possibilities Type
FBL: Fuckable
NMT: Not My Type
GMO: Gross Me Out
OGGMO: Old Geezer Grossin' Me Out
OGGMOSIS: A Group of Gross Me Out Old Geezer's.

It was fun. We had a filed day of rating highs and lows.

At about 2:15PM I picked up my paycheck. I heard a few "How cute!" remarks about my CHILLY WILLY T-shirt.

Dale's pal and ex-ex (Terry) said, "Hi," and gave me a polished smile.
"Ugh," was my only thought based on what Dale's informed me about the promiscuous jerk.

I stopped over at Harbor Bay Island's SAFEWAY after work. Mike, the bag boy, was there. He looked my way. I know he takes notice of me.

I was happy to be home to nap when the telephone rang. Who now? It was Paloma. I was thinking of Bob Umland's nonchalant phone call while at work today. I was glad it wasn't him.
Bob said, "I've been real busy."
I am so tired of hearing that line.

Paloma was up for going to see a movie.
"I feel like a movie, too. Let's go."
I picked her up after I dropped in to SAFEWAY again for a few candy bars and some macadamia nuts. We went to the Oaks Theater and saw the movie "Witness", starring Harrison Ford. It was about a country boy who witnesses a murder. It was good. Being with Paloma again felt nice. She's sweet but I'm still unsure to where we are heading. We may go to Santa Cruz this Saturday and lay out together on the beach.
"I'd love that," I said, "We could even go to Sea Cliff Beach, the other beach that I like."
"Yeah."
"Paloma, you already look so tan."
"I laid out yesterday."
"Oh, a fresh tan."
After the movie I drove her home and for a change of scenery decided to take the Alameda Tube and on via Otis Drive. I got a speeding ticket for going forty miles per hour in a twenty-five mile zone. The creepy cop didn't even let me slide. I should have bribed him with more options. Instead, I put my head down and accepted the damn ticket with a pout.

When I arrived home I called Paloma.
"Thanks for the memorable evening."
And of course, I also told her about he speeding ticket.

Tomorrow night is farewell to Patty Reid 'Happy Hour'. I still have my recurring cough, so I'm not too sure whether I want to go. Perhaps I'll go for one drink only. (?)

The night wasn't complete without one more chat with Dale.
Dale bragged. "Ryan is going to give me some HOT gossip about his trips to Mexico and New York. He made me promise to tell no one."
I know Dale wanted me to beg for the gossip. I hope he tells me only because I'm curious now. Ryan doesn't confide in me about much. He did surprise me that one night when he said that he and Ron had put an ad in a paper once about 'two blonds who wanted an observer to watch them explore HOT sex'! It sounded kinky...but interesting.

"If you want to be loved you have to be worth loving."
-Heath Ledger
as "Casanova" (2005)

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Debonair

So often now I can't help thinking how fast everything can change and of the whopping surprises in store for us. One day your paintbox is all tidy and filled with the greatest colors and your brushes are clean and things are nifty; the next day a steam roller has mangled the whole works but you can't even worry about that because the whole world is upside down and you're hanging on for dear life. If that can happen in a day or two, what will the years bring?
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times"

The word "debonair":
an adjective: having a sophisticated charm ("A gentleman")
an adjective: having a cheerful, lively, and self-confident air

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 20, 1985
Wednesday

It was another laid back day of 800/WATS Sales Training. Dale was peeking over my shoulder as I was writing in my journal. He just loves the fact that I am writing about him. It is true that he is one hell of a story all by himself.

Mary, our instructor and so-called AE (Account Executive), makes roughly $10,000 more a year than both Dale and I. She joined us for lunch today. Apparently, she had been living with her lover for eight years and then gave him one of the 'marry me or not ultimatum'. They don't see each other anymore on an intimate level.
"He still calls me and he's always around, living a block away doesn't help," said Mary.
I feel Mary is a hard person to read. I believe she sees a psychoanalyst because she made a slip when she said, "Funny, that's what my doctor said" after Dale said something or other.

Dale has been getting a bit upset with my almost blurting out his birthday (April 8, 1963). The fact that he's only twenty-one is something he's embarrassed about people knowing. I think it's fun to see him get uptight and at the edge-of-his-seat. He has done that with me in the past. It's only fair for me to get even...a little.

Dale and I shared our afternoon break with Sue Leith, Sue Fisher and Mary McInerny. They love our company. It must be our debonair personalities. I'm sure of it.

After work Dale and I went to MIKAGE. I bought a shirt, tie and a pair of pants for sixty-one dollars. I also bought a journal book for twenty-dollars at Michael Bruno's. I even bought a CHILLY WILLY T-Shirt that I plan to wear tomorrow. The black guy who worked at MIKAGE was going on and on about his other job as secretary at the San Francisco Chronicle Executive Suite. He described the offices as a 'posh Dynasty-like set up'.
Dale and I both wanted to say, "All right already! Give us our merchandise and let us go!"

Dale and I each bought a card to give to Mary tomorrow. She'll like that. Then she may show them off to her own boss over lunch.

I drove Dale to the MacArthur BART station and then I drove directly to my gym. I saw the 'Jeff Burr' lookalike, Bob (the personal trainer) and Russ (Mr. Manhattan Beach). All three of them are "questionables". I guess they will continue to be so...until one day (maybe?).

The three fellas at the gym really are questionable. In fact, Russ and Bob left the gym at the same time as I did. Russ is A-1 Steak Sauce. I think he was watching for me to time the joint outing. I just went straight to my car and headed home, paying them no mind (or pretending not to).

Steff telephoned while I was catching the last half hour of DYNASTY. We didn't talk for very long. She still believes we are going to the BAM Awards on March 23rd but I wonder if we actually are going? I mean, really? That's this coming Saturday.

Bruce called me, too. I shunned him off bravely.
"I'm going to a telemarketing seminar," Bruce announced.
"Those things are free."
"No they're not. I don't believe you."
I gave him my spiel on my 800/WATS Sales Training. He was 'out of it'. I let him go, telling him I had to watch DYNASTY.

Dale called me, too. We talked a bit about Larry, our second-line manager of the entire SDC-Business Office.
Dale said, "Larry has a very wishy-washy attitude."
"What did he do to make you say that?"
"He tried to pull some strings for me when I didn't pass the ASR test last year."
"I guess it didn't work out, huh?"
"No, things didn't fall through."
Now Dale yearns for Yellow Page commission sales, like me.

I rummaged through Marty's GQ magazine. I noticed that Marty didn't come home last night which is fine with me. I turned in at eleven o'clock. Tomorrow is that 2-hour lunch (Thanks to Mary).

Life seemed to him once more bright and beautiful, and all his old gladness came back to him again.
-Oscar Wilde
"Lord Arthur Savile's Crime"

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Moments In Your Memory

Funny how you store away the sight and feel of the important moments in your memory. The good times are there to be called on; they jump up like they've been waiting. But there's a catch: The bad times have a way of popping up without an invitation.
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 19, 1985
Tuesday

I woke up and arrived in San Francisco early. I took good care of the RCF (Remote Call Fowarding) order I needed to set up. My section was having a meeting but I didn't go because I was scheduled for 800/WATS Sales Training.

Dale and I went to the 666 Folsom Building. When we walked off of the elevator at the sixth floor Dale happened to see Terry (his ex ex). Dale has a real "fit" when he sees him. He gasps and gets all nervous. It's funny.

Our 800/WATS class is so laid back. Mary (our instructor is really cool). She let us out for lunch from 12:15 to 1:30PM. And we've already been told we will have a 2-hour lunch this coming Thursday!

Today Dale and I ate at Wendy's. We saw Guy Grivet and his pal and Terry in the same vicinity. It's a funny thing how we run into familiar office co-workers at lunch time.

My cough is still acting up. I hate the feeling.

After our lunch on Market Street Dale and I went to Franco Ferrari's. I saw the $350 suede, cashmere and leather sweater top that I want. We also popped over at MACY's and it all looked very low-budget after going to Franco's.
I told Dale, "When you leave a store like MACY's you have to speak loud enough for the clerk to here you say 'Let's go to Franco's or Wilkes'."

As we left MACY's Dale saw the other Dale who works in the AIC (Account Inquiry Center). This Dale cuts hair on the side and I am very leery of him. Dale spoke a few words to him.

While in 800/WATS Sales Training class Dale showed us a few pictures that included photos of his brother, Paul, his other brothers, his mom and dad, his half-sister and others. He has a good-looking family. I must say.
I asked, "Do you have a picture of Peter, the one who works in Walnut Creek-DA that you want me to meet?"
"No, but I'll bring it in tomorrow."

I got out of work by 4:30PM, so I was home by 5:05PM. I took a nap until 7PM.
"Ahhh, what a good feeling to rest," I thought as I stretched my way out of bed.
I telephoned my Dad and he kept asking, "Huh?" after every word I spoke. I got fed up and called my brother, John.
"Is it okay if I stop by now to deliver some of your mail?"
"Yeah, okay...we're about to have dinner buy you can come over."
They were having corn, fettuccine and steak. I sipped some wine and had a bit of strawberry shortcake. Ashley is getting bigger and so cute. I stayed there until 8:30PM and decided to go home.

Marty had not come home which was fine with me. I decided to call Frank Vasconcellos. He still wants to work for a mortuary. I tested him with the idea of accompanying me on a Hawaiian trip in September.
"I'm all for it, Michael. I just don't think I'll be able to afford it."
"Well, it's early yet. Maybe you can do it by then. You remember Paloma, right?"
"Yeah."
"She may be getting a job with Air France. I think she is going back to Paris."
"Really? That's funny because I'm trying to get a job with Air Cal"
"That sounds good. Guess what else?"
"What?"
"My brother, Tony, is marrying Helen."
"Wow, a lot is happening now, huh?"
We didn't talk much longer and I decided to call Paloma.

Paloma and I had our usual nice chat.
"I got your postcard from Vegas."
"Did you like?"
"Yeah. I hope to make my home the San Francisco area even if I start working with Air France."
"That would be great."
"Are you still going to the gym?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Of course."
We spoke a bit more about our bodybuilding and how we want to go to Santa Cruz one weekend soon (Saturday?). We also talked about the idea of going to a restaurant in San Francisco once-a-month.
Steff called almost immediately after I hung up with Paloma.
"You won't believe what happened today," Steff said giggling.
"What? Just tell me."
"You won't believe it. A BIG male stripper stripped for me in the office today!"
"Why wouldn't I believe it?"
She laughed. I couldn't believe how 'into it' she was over a stripper. I could tell.
"I wish I was there so I could figure out what got in to you. I would be so much more critical."
She was so enthralled. Again, she laughed in ecstasy at the thought of the stripper.

"I can't even afford to blink. I miss too much."-Aaron Eckhart
"In The Company of Men"

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Questionable

It's strange how suddenly things happen, a click and your mind's made up and a whole plan of action comes to you.
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times"

I received a letter postmarked October 17, 2008 from Victoria M. Hanke (aka Tory) of Plainsboro, NJ. She shared one of her favorite poems. I liked it so much I thought I would post it on my BLOG today:

"Though my soul may set in darkness,
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
to be fearful of the night."
-Tory Hanke


Twenty-five years ago today:

March 18, 1985
Monday

Jim did not shower last night or this morning. I didn't think that was good hygiene but I didn't pursue it or comment on it. I wished he could have joined me for breakfast on this bleak morning but he didn't. Instead, I just drove him to the Oakland Airport. He kissed me goodbye. Amazing!

I drove to San Francisco, feeling a bit tired for a work day. I had a meal on a muffin and GREAT "117" point sales day! I start my 800/WATS line training tomorrow, too.

Dale has introduced me to Mary, the 800 Training Instructor along with Conci, a Sales Manager for the Account Executives. They're really nice. We all may go out for a drink one day soon.

Dale and I went for cheesecake and hot chocolate.
Dale said, "I want to introduce you to my good looking friend, Peter. He's an operator at the Walnut Creek DA office."
"Okay, sure."
"What's on your mind?"
"Well, there was an episode last night."
"Oh...tell me!"
I went ahead and told him about Jim but not the exact details of the intimacy, of course. Dale seemed very pleased to learn of it. He was especially happy that I shared this with him.

I went home after work and changed clothes for the gym. I did call Jim to check that he arrived home okay. We talked for a while.
"Did you hear from those two girls?" I asked.
Jim laughed, "No, not yet--but I do have a ton of messages to check."
"Oh...Mr. Popularity."
There was another chuckle, then a click good bye.

I was at the gym and saw a lot of the regulars.
Paloma gave me inspiration before I left. "Have a good work out."

My similar Jeff Burr older lookalike gym partner showered at the same time I did (once again). He is a definite questionable (QBL). Actually, I'd say he's a "knowable"!

The Chinese gal who's an aerobic instructor at the gym made a remark about my not lifting enough on the lateral press.
I thought to myself, "It's my bod. I know it. Who does she think she is? I don't know."

I biked a good twenty-four minutes on the LifeCycle but my cough was still there. I think I contracted the cough from the warm days and cold nights and cold alcoholic beverages in Vegas.

I saw Amanda Lopez as I was leaving the gym. We share a little small talk as I noticed there were a number of cute gals at the gym tonight. I am tempted. The guys only era is getting old. I'm ready to hump a snatch. I truly feel that way.

Dale called and asked, "Will you be the Godfather of Dee and my child?"
I was flattered. I haven't given a definitive yes but I would like to.

Steff had called, so I decided to return her call. We talked very little. She's in her own world. She was telling me of a couple of guys (cute ones, she says) that want to lay her.
"I'm so leery about it. It's too soon," Steff said.
"You know, they say that divorcee's are looked upon as easy game."
"I have to ask you a question."
"Okay, go..."
"You won't be mad?"
"No, just ask it."
"Okay, will you be my massage student?"
I laughed. I think I avoided an answer.
Steff then said, "You know, Michael, you should go out with those guys that are coming on to me and tell me what's going on."
"What do they look like?" I asked.
"They're cute."
We cut the conversation short. I went to bed.

"It's kind of like being a spy. You know...being gay because no one knows unless I tell them."
-Charlie David
as Chase Rousseau
in "Mulligans" (2008)

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Yearnings

"I start feeling creative the minute there's a tang of Spring air. I guess the sap rises in me at the same time it does in the trees."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 17, 1985
Sunday

I unpacked by bags, washed a load of clothes by at least putting them in the washing machine. I must remember to move them over to the dryer.

I telephoned Jim Koran and made arrangements to meet him at four o'clock, so we could enjoy dinner together. He may come to my pad afterwards and then I will take him to the Oakland Airport.

I had a great breakfast at mom's house. I shared details about Vegas, including the topless showgirls at The Jubilee show.
"I just plain had fun," I said while explaining the fun of Vegas.

I went cycling for a bit but I yearned for a nap. I attempted and completed a good nap. By 1PM I was driving myself to the gym. I worked out until 3PM. I had to treat myself to an Orange Julius, then I drove into Castro Valley where I found Steve's house (Jim's friend). Jim was there and it felt strange seeing him here, so up close and personal.

Steve is a dentist. His wife is expecting a baby in June. They seem very straight-laced but very nice. Jim and Steve grew up together in Phoenix, Arizona.
We left there by 4:30PM and headed for San Francisco. I was trying to think of a good place to eat and all I could come up with was Hamburger Mary's. I just knew it had atmosphere. Jim loved it. We had a good time and shared a few laughs about the obscene and not-so-obscene pictures on the wall of the restaurant.
"You're looking good and healthy," Jim stated with a smile.
"You too."
"I've decided I don't want to be rushed tonight."
"Good. So you still want me to take you to Oakland Airport later, right?"
"Yeah, that'll be great, if it's no trouble...but not until tomorrow."
"Oh man!"
"What?"
"I'm just bummed because I overheard the waitress say they're out of avocado."
"Oh."
"The burgers here are so good with the sliced avocado. I'll get over it."
Jim laughed as we both continued to lift one another's spirits.

Some geeky host was being really friendly to us. I felt he was comin' on to me. I started to wonder what the prerequisite was to get a job at Hamburger Mary's. (geeky, overly friendly and a weird haircut...it seemed).

After dinner Jim and I went to Cafe San Marcos and again he was impressed and enjoyed the easy going gay, loungable atmosphere. We shared a few stories. I went on about Bob Umland and his infrequent calling followed by his nonchalant calling 'out-of-the-blue' as if it were just another day.
"I have an interesting story," Jim announced.
"Go ahead, spill," I urged.
"Well I met these two girls and one of them asked me if I'd be willing to have dinner with her and her boyfriend."
"That's kind of odd."
"That's what I thought. And then she said her boyfriend wants to have an affair."
"Ahhh, it is getting interesting."
"The boyfriend has been in Finland. Anyway, they have yet to call me to make the arrangement."
"Sounds like the boyfriend wants to experiment."
"I guess so."
"You'll have to let me know what happens."

Jim and I were kind of starry-eyed and we decided to go home to relax at my pad. It was funny when Jim said, "If one of us becomes famous before the other we'll still have to be in touch."
"I guess it's possible that could happen. I'll be in touch," I assured him.
"I will, too," Jim smiled.

Jim liked a Thunderbird greeting card and I think he expects me to send it to him in Los Angeles. I will surprise him.

While at my house Jim said, "Wow, I really like your mirrored tables, your bike plaque and your whole pad."
I thanked him and Jim looked through my photo album while I spoke to Dale on the telephone briefly. Dale was telling me about our coworker, Joshua. Apparently, Joshua's son had died.
Dale remarked, "I'm not going to the funeral."
"Well, I don't know Josh very well. I'll talk to you about it later."

Jim and I talked some more and gazed into each other's eyes. Then the doorbell rang.
"Who could that be?" I asked aloud.
I answered the door and it was more 'boat people' for Marty. Jim came out of the bathroom and saw all of these 'boat people'. He was probably laughing inside. Both Jim and I gave a warm "Hello" to the group. We watched a bit of TV and went to bed.

Jim slept with me. I was wondering what may be going through my roommate's mind. Jim was erotically charged. Eventually he became orally stimulating towards me and it drove me crazy. We slept well. I awoke in the middle of the night once or twice, realizing he was there.
In the middle of the night I said, "I'm glad you are here."
"After that, I hope so!"
I had missed him. He keeps telling me what a nice ass I have and touches it a lot. No complaints. He's a gentleman.

"Fornication on a massive scale leads to confusion."
-Jeremy Irons
"Casanova" (2005)

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