What Are Your Priorities ?

"If you have skills you'll still be needed."
-an unknown middle-aged man to his elderly mother
as overheard during a morning run in Marina Del Rey, CA

I find myself eavesdropping on tidbits of conversation sometimes. A couple of days ago I was at the gym and I heard this conversation.
"Hey man, where's your son?" said an out-of-breath fellow to another.
"Oh man, he hasn't worked out here in a while," the guy replied, "you know...he has no time."
That is when I thought about how we ALL 'make time for what is important to us'.

"Value what you do, you're obviously good at it."
-Kate Winslet, to her husband, Leonardo DiCaprio
in the film REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Golden Globe Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Twenty-five years ago today

January 12, 1984

Barbara Reynolds is back to her friendly self. It is as if nothing ever happened. I wonder if she has split-personalities? One of her good friends (Alice) or maybe her 'Robert' may have talked some good sense into making her see things in a new light. She had been making mountains out of mole hills.

Gilbert left a message for me at my office once again. I returned his call and we talked a little as he tried to wiggle his way out of his inappropriate actions last night. Although, I don't forget things that easily.

I called Paloma and tonight is not possible because she is going out with her friend, Monica, tonight. I suggested the options of Friday, Saturday or Sunday. She gave me some lame excuse.
"Well, if things don't go over well on any of those days...remember me and I can be your "second" choice," I abruptly passed on to her.
"Okay," Paloma said, keeping it short and sour.
"Am I second choice?" I asked feeling a tad sad.
"Definitely not," she replied, "I am not avoiding you."
We seemed to come to a decision of keeping Tuesday and Wednesday open for one another. Knowing Paloma and her schedule it will be very "iffy". I did happen to notice (on my calendar) that Wednesday is a Full Moon. That could be a good thing.

When I arrived home from work I received a 'pissed-off' letter in my mailbox from Bill Helbush. I could see the anger from the pressure of his pen in his handwriting.

It made me think of an "anger" letter I wrote once. I fail to recall who I wrote it to now. Oh wait a minute...now I remember. It was to George Jones! What a laugh. That's why I thought Bill's letter was funny...I guess. It seems he wrote this letter last Tuesday night. Bill was 'pissed-off' because I greeted him with a mere hello at the skating rink in San Leandro. He expected more public affection. That's just not my style. It makes me happy that I have not seen him lately. This letter proves how childish he acts (deep down). I mean...if that burned him up...forget it! I sure as hell wasn't going to be one of those effeminate pansies who run up to him and kiss up to him. Forget that!

I called him in response to the letter. I think I calmed him down (a little) just from making the phone call.
"Why don't you drive into the City and we can go to dinner and you can meet a friend another friend of mine?" he asked.
"No, but I can try and meet you afterwards at Cafe San Marco," I suggested.
I don't know why I said that. I won't go because I don't like the San Francisco vibes lately. I don't really want to be around him because of what may be uncontrollably forced to happen. I'm too nice a guy. I just don't want to hurt any one's feelings. I may 'give in' and see him again. I didn't 'give in' for Gilbert, so I may not do so again for Bill. This is a big mess. How I can even be writing about these 'mixed-up' dudes is beyond me.

I need space. I need time to breathe. "Later" for this!

Gilbert called me once again on this very night.
"Listen, Michael, I remembered we were supposed to go dancing to the I-BEAM with Natasha tonight and it got cancelled, but what are you doing Friday night?" Gilbert asked.
"I'm not sure," I said without really knowing what to say.
"Well Natasha has to go to the airport, so after we take her we can do something."
I didn't officially say no but I don't like playing chauffeur. I do think I will come up with some excuse. Why should I waste my time? What more will I get for being a chauffeur except a 'Thanks a lot'. I hate that crap (being used for my car).