Peace Of Mind

"Every time I start with somebody new I can almost see the beginning and the end all at once."
-as heard while watching
the 1998 TV show "More Tales Of The City"

Thank you Kay Strauss from Minnesota for sending me this joke on Nov. 13, 2009.
It was good for a laugh:

Italian Pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him.
"You gonna try again."

Twenty-five years ago today:

January 1, 1985

At 4:30AM I wanted to split the scene but I didn't. I couldn't take Ron's snoring!

Karyn Kossoff and I left by 8AM or so.

Ron asked, "How you feelin' this mornin', Michael?" He spoke with a slight overture tone, hinting about our intimate 'brief kissing' moment.

Karyn and I were happy. We had no parking ticket. I saw one car parked diagonally in front of a fire hydrant. I couldn't believe it! I drove Karyn home and before I knew it I was home. I was feeling restless. By 10:30AM I was riding up Fairmont when a CINELLI dressed 'skinny' cyclist passed me up. I had passed him earlier and he was clearly getting revenge. What a creep! Just wait until I'm in-shape again. I feel so OW (overweight) from all of my overeating an slacking off over the holidays.

I stopped to visit at my Aunt Lillian's house in Castro Valley. My cousin Shonette was there with my Grandma. Shonette gave me a Coca-Cola. It was a needed 'cooling off' refreshment after this spontaneous ride in to Castro Valley. I hung out there until Howard, Lillian and Shawn appeared. Ten year old cousin Shawn and I went cycling a bit.

I made it to my mom's house at about 3PM where I fixed myself an orange-juice flavored milkshake. Yum! I enjoyed a bowl of posole and a slice of chocolate cake. Face it, I porked out but didn't feel guilty after that speed racing ride.

I remained at mom's house until 8PM. And then, I went to Baxter's in Concord at 9PM. I was hoping to see Karen, the Cybil Shepherd lookalike. It was a dead night and she was not working tonight. It was time to vanish and rest for my work day tomorrow. Yawn.

"Have you found that 'peace of mind' you've been looking for?"
-as heard while watching
the 1946 film, 'RAZOR's EDGE'