The 11th Husband

He kept saying, "I think you can help me to become free. You understand me more than anyone ever has."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path:

Thank you Brenda Timmons of Jacksonville, Florida for sharing this story:

The 11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle I'm still a virgin."
"What ?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me."

"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."

"Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method."

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not."

"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."

"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it."

"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it."

"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him!."

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why ?
"You're with the "GOVERNMENT". This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."


Twenty-five years ago today:

October 27, 1984
Saturday

I woke up early and went cycling. I rode to LUCKY's grocery store at the South Shore Shopping Center and saw Richard (aka Rick) who is a coworker of Robert Gaspar (my brother John's longtime pal since third grade). I spoke to Rick for a short while and went to Great Western Savings to deposit my $590 paycheck (my advance).

As I continued riding I saw Linda Nannizzi. We rode together for a short distance.
"Oh, I quit Safeway after working there for a week. I am now attending Cal State Hayward full-time," Linda said as the wind made her hair blow every which way.

After the morning ride I went to mom's and woke her up at 10:30am. I had some of her famous homemade pancakes. While I was there I called Paloma to find out how to spell "savoir-faire". Tony is thinking of opening a small ice-cream shop with Dennis Reno and using this name. Paloma was helpful.
Paloma also said, "I will call you later to let you know about the Halloween party."

I bought an ear cuff with a cool feather that hangs as an accessory to my hopeful "pirate" costume. I probably won't end up using it. Paloma never called back later!

Mike Miller telephoned me while I was at mom's house.
"Hi Mike, I wanted to see if you want to go to this computer show in San Francisco."
"Sure I'll go!"

An hour later Mike Miller and I ended up in Berkeley after we realized the computer show required a ten-dollar admission fee. We went to 'Karim Bicycle' to check out the new $199 12-speed Japanese racing bikes. We had a slice of shitty pizza at some "yucky" joint and ended up looking at computers at some computer shop. We also stopped to visit 'The Good Guys' electronics store and "a good guy" with big eyes, long eyelashes and very tall demonstrated the new Laser Discs on a $1998 stereo system.

A half hour later we were at my pad ordering pizza at La Val's Pizza. I went to pick it up at the Harbor Bay Isle location. A guy named John Suzack was working.
"Hey, I saw you on your bike," John said.
"Oh yeah?" Hurrah! Someone saw me riding. I imagine a lot of Alamedans see me now and then. Mmm...John Suzack is a nice guy.
Mike Miller said, "His sister, Stacy, is really good lookin'."
"I believe it," I replied after seeing John because he's a nice lookin' guy.
We ate the La Val's pizza at my pad.

The telephone rang and it was Sherri, asking if I would bring her some firewood. And so, I left Mike alone at my pad to deliver the firewood. While at Sherri's I met her pal, Kim, who was visiting from San Jose. She is cute and seemed pretty nice. I kind of liked her. I remained there a while as Sherri prepared the fire.

When I returned to my pad Helen was there. Mike Miller hung out and we browsed some SPIEGEL catalogs, watched a bit of the "Cover Up" TV series. Mike departed around 10:30pm. I 'hit the hay' by 11pm.