One-Night Stand

Almost it seems a dream to me,
but unfortunately it had to be shattered unmercifully by leaving.
-Nial Kent
“The Divided Path”

Another joke shared with me this week is being shared with you, today.

‘The Definition of Chutzpah’

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel.

And this went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him.

"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to 35 cents."

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 13, 1984
Thursday

Today is my 8-month anniversary of meeting Chris Cordellos. It is ‘most definitely’ over between us. It is just as well. I am sort of ridiculously sad about it at times. I know we are on friendly terms. I remained home in the morning, thinking he may call. I washed my car until it was about 10:30AM.

I decided to drive to Lake Temescal and lay there on the lawn and take on a few sun rays. While I was there I met an Irish guy named Danny who was twenty-seven years old who was originally from Michigan. He looked a lot older than I. He was pleasant enough but that was the beginning and end of it.

I did my sun bathing bit until about 2:30PM and went home to see Mom. I enjoyed something to drink and then returned to my place.

I ended up writing that letter to Jim Koran in Los Angeles. I wrote him quite a few words, sending him that bicycle card that I had been holding for such a long time.

After writing to Jim I escaped for a forty-minute cycling excursion. I stopped over at mom and dad’s again because I had realized I locked myself out of my house. My mind has been adrift. Fortunately, Dad had a spare key to the townhouse but he was working the swing shift today. It looked like I was spending the evening with mom until we had a brainstorm idea. I transported Dad’s step ladder to the townhouse; whereby, I jumped the townhouse roof and into my backyard. My sliding door was open! Voila! I successfully got over and into my pad. It worked out nicely. I chalked it up as another adventure with mom.

I decided to dress all safari-like with my army green tie and new belt and drove into San Francisco. I decided to go to Hamburger Mary’s first because it was too early for action at The Oasis nightclub. I met a lady named Karen while having my 5pm cocktail. She will supposedly be calling me at 7 o’clock tonight and we may go out together. Is she ‘for real’? I hope she calls. She was having dinner with a girlfriend who seemed rather ‘lesbian’ through my eyes.
“Well, meet me over at The Oasis later,” I told them just in case she fails to telephone later.

I met a redheaded fellow from Daly City named Richard who was talking to me while at Hamburger Mary’s.
“Yeah, there’s a nude beach in Los Gatos and in the Oakland Hills,” Richard said.
“What is it about nude beaches these days?” I quietly thought to myself.

He did make it sound kind of interesting. Richard said he would be calling me around noon on Sunday to see about going to a nude beach. I cannot believe I gave him my telephone number. I doubt I will hear from him again. He said he planned to go to The Oasis, too.

It was around midnight and I was feeling bored at ‘The Oasis’. It’s rather lonely when you go to a nightclub alone. I felt like a wallflower and ‘out of place’ until the cocktail buzz kicked in. I bid farewell to Karen and her weird friend and Richard who were all at The Oasis now. I just didn't want to be there tonight. It wasn't fun like the Karyn Kossoff dancing night.

I had the munchies and decided to walk around the block to Hamburger Mary’s again for that avocado burger on toast that I love. I sat at the bar counter all by my lonesome when a reasonably looking gentleman walked in and sat next to me. He had an unblemished face and was attractive but I believed him to be 'straight'.

We made tidbit conversation about Hamburger Mary’s food and each others’ occupation.
“I took a taxi from my job here. I bus tables at ‘The Stars’. I also have a private butler service called ‘William’,” he said.
It sounded interesting. He told me his name was William Wilkerson. Our small talk continued.
“Would you like a ride home?” I asked.
He seemed a tad tipsy and I figured it would be a kind gesture.
“You know, I don’t really live that far away. I can share some tie with you,” William said.
I didn’t realize it at the time but ‘tie’ is a slang term for ‘really good weed’.

I was hesitant but since I was on vacation I figured ‘what the heck’.
He lived off of Van Ness Avenue in a small apartment. He had one cat and three kittens! His place was a complete shambles. What a mess. He could not even find that joint he had told me about. It was no wonder, looking at his cluttered place. I made motions to depart when he said something that surprised me.
“Do you have to rush off?”
“Well, I could have a glass of water.”

We did more small talk. He has an intelligent way of speaking so concisely. I started to find him rather dull and unusual in terms of his philosophical way of thinking about Buddha and having faith in his God. He showed me an ‘immortal’ symbolic tattoo of gracefulness on his arm.
“I am always in a joyous way,” William said.
I knew better. By just looking around his apartment I did not feel much joy. He could not always be as joyous as he seems to believe. Soon he came out with a point blank question that stumped me.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were cruising me tonight, right?”
I was astounded. Avoidance began to set in my mind. Why do people assume things?
“I dunno,” I replied.

Perhaps I was curious to see what might happen. I was not sure he was into boys. The Hamburger Mary’s in Hawaii is ultra gay, but the one in San Francisco is a simple restaurant that everyone goes to visit.
“Would you like to jerk off?”
I’m sure the expression on my face was scared, yet excited. William began to massage my lips with his fingers. That was unusual but exciting. He gave me a complete massage right there on the floor of his messy apartment. I think I heard a cat meow. I don't need to get into details of the 'complete massage'. Imagine.

In the end I was driving home and did not feel too great after the sensual happenings. I just knew this was all a waste of time. It was horrible. This was literally a ‘one night stand’.

I now only had the Karen I had met earlier this evening on my mind. I arrived home at 2AM and went to bed in hopes of converting some of the reality into a dream.