Silence of the Mind

Waking from a bad dream does not necessarily console you.
It can also make you fully aware of the horror you just dreamed,
and even of the truth residing in that horror.
I set off towards home in tears, and I couldn’t stop crying until…
-Bernhard Schlink
"The Reader"

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 8, 1984
Friday

I listened to a Sales Training today that was conducted by my brother, Tony. It was rather boring. It made for a ‘bit’ of a learning adventure and a ‘freebie’ afternoon.

When I was released from work I was delighted to see Chris outside of the Downtown Pac Tel building waiting for me. Chris walked with Steve Gaster and me to my parked car.
“Meet me at my house at six o’clock,” I told Chris as I drove off to take Steve home.

I learned that Chris went to MACY’s Clearance Center for the day. He was also at his mom’s after repairing his flat tire in San Leandro. He bought me a T-shirt. It was a thoughtful gift.

When I arrived home Tony and Helen were there but they soon departed. Chris arrived at 6:45pm just when Michael Thoennes had called.
“I’m going to San Mateo on B Street,” Michael T said, indicating a suggestion to meet.
“We may go later,” I answered after explaining that Chris was in town.

Chris and I went to Horatio’s in San Leandro for a cocktail. We enjoyed dinner at Casa Maria. It was filling but we continued on to Red Robin for a ‘Cookie Magic’ and a ‘Mai Tai’ cocktail. Our buzz indicators led us to B Street in San Mateo; however, I allowed Chris to do the driving.

It was a nice place. We danced a lot at this gay club that was quite unfamiliar. We left by 12:45am because I was just too tired and yearned to leave the place. Chris was bummed out about my wanting to split the scene. We had a gruesome arguing of our silent minds on the way home. The tension could be felt from the quietness alone.

During the drive I suggested coffee at LYONS or a visit to a bar on Mission Boulevard in Hayward that I knew.
“I don’t care,” Chris clipped quietly (which meant he DID care).
I learned later that he was bummed out I didn’t act on my suggestion. Instead, I parked my car by the Bay Farm Island Bridge and we walked a while. Then we quickly left after Chris got sick (vomit sick)!

We drove to my house when my Dad came outside to do a midnight watering of the lawn!
Chris and I talked to him a while and told him about the dancing experience at ‘The Black Angus’. The night had come to an end. Yawn.