Clouded Judgement

I was trying to soothe myself by remaining busy.
I felt tainted. The unnamed sensation returned...
...clouded judgement.
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"


Twenty-five years ago today:

May 23, 1984
Wednesday

The big news of the day was the fact that Barbara Reynolds and I were presented with our actual job offers to the City’s Business Service Center effective July 8, 1984. Hoorah! We’re out of here!

After the exciting work day I munched down a quick dinner (chicken and a salad) and went to see John, Sherri and Ashley. Ashley looks ever so cute now. Every time I see her I detect a cute change. I stayed on for a while and then went on a one-hour bicycle ride.

Christopher Cordellos called me at 7:40pm. We arranged to meet at the Walnut Creek BART station. He looked so prepped-out in his plaid shorts and turquoise blue shirt. He teed me off when he would NOT sit in my car to hear me read aloud the letter I worked so hard on last night.

Chris was all talk about his Coast Guard buddies Clay and Tim. These two chaps are stationed in the Bay Area and Chris spent the day shopping with them. There was a changed aura in him that I did not like. I know he got it from hanging’ out with those two dudes, too.
“I want to live in Beverly Hills,” Chris announced.
“Who doesn’t want to?” I asked.


We decided to go to that bar in Walnut Creek called ‘The Hub’. It was so ‘dead’ in there that we ended up at ‘Grogan’s’ for Brandy Alexander and pineapple vodka cocktails. We just ‘hung out’ and ended up talking to a tall woman named Vicki. We told her where we were from.
“Oh wow, my dad used to live in Sonoma and Alameda,” the mysterious Vicki said.

It did not take long before we decided to leave Grogan’s. We hung out at the Walnut Creek BART parking lot and started talking. We shared half of a joint in his car. Of course there was no doubt that Chris brought the joint down from his Humboldt marijuana contact (or maybe it was a gift from Clay and Tim). It was a wild, light-headed and sensual feeling. It was still “ugh” in feeling at the same time.

I barely remember driving home. I do remember that neither one of us wanted to depart from the other. I felt ‘laid back’ when I awoke in the morning.