Remembering Those M&M Cookies

“Mike,
Don’t change.
Stay as you are…
Happy all the time
…And a good boy.
Hope you continue your education
And hope you like going to college
And hope you get ahead in the future because you deserve it.
PS-And Thank you for Sunday for taking me out for dinner
At the ‘Mexicali Rose’.
Love Your Mom,
Virginia.”
---handwritten June, 1977 in my Alameda High School year book

The holiday season is difficult sometimes when you think about loved ones you’ve lost. On January 24, 2000 I was talking to my mother on the telephone at 8 o’clock in the evening. I was in Los Angeles and she was in Alameda. We had our typical chitchat.
“So, what’s new,” I would typically ask.
“Oh nothing…there’s a good movie on TV tonight that I want to see called THE COURAGE TO LOVE, starring Vanessa Williams,” she said.
“Oh really? Maybe you can tape it for me and then I can watch it,” I suggested.
She said she’d tape it as she often did with stories/movies she wished to share with me. It's a blur to recall any additional conversation. We probably talked about the holidays and the grandkids, Ashley, Holly, Ally, Dylan, Lauren and Leigh.
“Okay, good night, I LOVE YOU,” I said, not realizing they would be my last words to her. At around 11:35pm that night, my sister-in-law, Sherri Armijo, called in hysterics, crying every which way.
“She’s gone, Michael,” she said.
As I write these words it hurts once again. There was a delirium in the air and I hoped it was all a dream. Sherri was telling me that my mother had passed away. My mother had managed to call 911 but her doors were locked and the firemen paramedics had to break down a garage side door to enter her home. She passed away at Alameda Hospital from complications of a 'mitral regurgitation' condition. I can never use the ‘dead’ word. I always say “passed away”. Why is that? It eases my pain.

I just did a search online at the Internet Movie Data Base under Vanessa Williams’ filmography. I found her film THE COURAGE TO LOVE and it strikes me now to see the actual RELEASE date of January 24, 2000:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0217749/
I never saw the last movie that my mother watched. This is the plot summary:

In 19th century New Orleans a new class of colored people has arisen. They are creoles, a result of relations between African-Americans and wealthy European people. Children are born, there is love, but marriage is out of the question. Colored people are still not considered equal. Henriette Delille is a very religious Creole. The time she has she spends on educating, care and helping out in church. On the day her father Jean-Baptiste leaves her mother Pouponne to marry a white woman, Henriette is supposed to meet her arranged future 'caretaker' Paul Cartier. But she refuses him, defying every tradition and so bringing her mother to madness. She becomes friends with the French doctor Gerard Gaultier. He is in love with her and wants her to move to France, so they can be legally married. Henriette is torn apart by her feelings for Gerard and her devotion to the church. She must choose, but neither choice is going to be an easy one as there are people who greatly disapprove of Henriette's ideas of breaking traditions.

I just checked and I cannot believe it is available for sale on Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/Courage-to-Love/dp/B000LC57K0/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1229623351&sr=8-2
I just NOW bought it as a Christmas gift to myself. I still have my silent moments of sadness when I have memories or dreams of my mom---like this morning---and I usually keep them to myself. Maybe the movie, COURAGE TO LOVE, will grant me a line or two of rescue this season.

I had been like a wild bird in a cage, given just enough bird seed by its captor to keep alive but not to thrive; doomed as time passed to lose the use of its wings so that if ever released it would be unable to fly. Now, at any rate, I had got out of the cage. I must soar anew through the boundless sky before it was too late, I had forgotten how to flap my wings.
–Lu Xun, Regret for The Past

Another holiday season is here and once again I miss the aroma and taste of Mom’s homemade M&M cookies.

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups M&M plain or peanut candies
1. Preheat oven to 375*F (190*C).
2. In medium bowl combine flour, soda and salt, mixing well; set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugars together with electric mixer; add eggs and vanilla and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Stir in flour mixture and candies until just combined. Do not over-mix.
4. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets, about 2-inches apart.
5. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges just begin to turn golden brown. Do not over-bake! Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool.
Makes about 3 dozen cookies.

Twenty-five years ago today:

December 18, 1983

I went shopping with mom to the South Shore Shopping Center in Alameda today. We had such a good time.
We returned to my pad on Solomon Lane and wrapped Christmas presents together. It was festive fun as we listened to Christmas chipmunk tunes together.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rN-7wGz_3w
I am so relieved that I had an exhilarating bike ride today, too.

I called Bill and we spoke about the possibility of getting together on Thursday.

After a quick shower I began to watch an old James Bond feature called GOLDFINGER when Michael Miller called me. We arranged a holiday outing to see the new Al Pacino film called SCARFACE. It sounds good to me.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7leX_BBcOA
SCARFACE was violent but so very well done. It was a three-hour flick that kept me interested all the way through.
http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=ciF2CYn36gA
I enjoyed the escape but it is now 1:30am and time for bed.