Compliments From The Heart

“There was something more enticing here…the thrill of the hunt.”
--John DiCarlo
In ‘Telling Tales Out of School’

Compliments from the heart elevate others’ spirit and will often result in an encouraging word from someone else…a domino effect.

Twenty-five years ago:

Tuesday, February 28, 1984

I am in a new section at work now. My new supervisor is black. Her name is Gerri Rogers. There is something about her that ‘grosses me out’. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. Helen is in my section now, so that is nice.
My brother, Tony, played chef tonight. He made tortellini for John and me at our pad.
John bought some new bar bells. He surprised me when he showed off his two new record albums: Nena Hagen and Billy Idol.
I now realize that John has varied tastes—-but then--isn’t that the case for all who are GEMINI?

I was released from my ART Class early due to our instructor’s mild cold. I bet he just wanted to get out of class to see The Grammy Awards. I ended up catching some of the show. Culture Club won the Best New Group category. Boy George made me laugh.
“Thanks America, you know a good drag queen when you see one.”
Boy George is too much.

Chris Cordellos called at eleven o’clock to tell me he went to see ‘Terms of Endearment’ in Arcata, CA.
We talked about possibly meeting up tomorrow since he said he would be back in Concord. We shall see how the timing goes.

It was funny as I thought to myself. “I do have an appointment after work at the Sperm Bank.”

Wednesday, February 29, 1984

I kept my appointment at The Bay Area Sperm Bank. It was a fascinating first visit. I believe it is an excellent choice for me. I get a free medical check-up, too.
“You have an excellent sperm count at 175+,” says the Sperm Bank representative.
I had to masturbate in a room to some tunes and shoot it into a Styrofoam cup. It was a bit difficult—at first—but I did it. If this works out I wonder if I could have a lot of kids. They may be half-way decent looking kids at that! At age eighteen the child will have the option to look me up. I simply have to keep my locale information up-to-date. I am told my identity (and address) is kept strictly confidential. It is an exciting way to disperse myself into society here, there and everywhere. Besides helping the woman in need I am leaving a part of me. Won’t this unknown child be lucky?

Paige LaBris called me from Sacramento, CA that evening. She wanted to come to visit this weekend. However, the weekend is closed for Chris Cordellos’ 21st Birthday activities. It was very pleasant reconnecting with Paige. I persuaded her to come for that visit next weekend. We discussed the possibility of driving south to Carmel-by-the-Sea. It will be nice to see her again.

Chris Cordellos arrived while I was watching ‘Dynasty’. We took a walk to the Harbor Bay Landing lagoon. We had a late-night breakfast at Denny’s and returned to my pad for a “semi-dessert”. I learned that his neck is very ticklish. Chris seemed nervous when he first arrived. Why this is so is still a mystery. Is he ‘too much in like’ or ‘smitten’? Who knows? I do like that coy way about him.

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Easy Come, Easy Go

1929: The Great Depression of 1929 began on ‘Black Tuesday’ with the Wall Street crash in October 1929 and rapidly spread worldwide. The basic cause was a sudden loss of confidence in the economic future. Sound familiar?

Some of the 1929 Depression era explanations include high consumer debt, ill-regulated markets that were permitted by banks and investors, cutbacks in foreign trade, lack of high-growth new industries, and growing wealth inequality, all interacting to create a downward economic spiral of reduced spending, falling confidence, and lowered production.

1969: Fast forward 40 years to 1969…What was going on? Personally, I started 4th grade in September 1969 at a parochial school (St. Anthony’s) in Oakland, CA. My girlfriend from 1st through 3rd grades (Diane Laschatz) broke up with me for one of The Monkees (Mickey Dolenz). I was heartbroken.
My new teacher/nun (Sister Mary Gemma) made an announcement in front of the class around the same time of my break-up with Diane.
“Michael Armijo…you put on some weight over the summer, didn’t you?” Sister Mary Gemma questioned.
How embarrassing is that? I don’t know if anyone laughed because I chose to block out the incident. It’s funny the things we remember. It’s often a cruel or sensitive moment. What else was going on in 1969?

February 17, 1969: Golda Meir sworn in as Israel's 1st female prime minister
February 25, 1969: Beatles begin recording Abbey Road album
March 1, 1969: After 88 weeks Sgt Pepper drops off the charts
March 1, 1969: New York Yankees' Mickey Mantle retires
March 3, 1969: Apollo 9 launched for 151 Earth orbits (10 days)
March 5, 1969: Gold reaches then record high ($47 per ounce) in Paris
March 10, 1969: James Earl Ray pleads guilty in murder of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last night I was swept away when I watched the 1969 film ‘They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?’, starring Jane Fonda, Michael Sarrazin and Gig Young.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Shoot_Horses,_Don't_They%3F
I had never seen it and actually thought it was a western. As it turned out it was a timely film for today (given the current financial crisis). It was a 1929 Depression era drama about a dance marathon with a $1500 cash prize to the winning couple. It brought out the worst in its desperate contestants: jealousy, mental illness, hallucinations, desperation, anxiety, heart failure, suicidal tendencies, murder… It was quite intense as I felt the pain and agony, watching this film directed by Sidney Pollack. It made me think twice to hear this dialogue:

“Why do you like California?” Michael Sarrazin asked.
“You don’t freeze while you’re starving,” Jane Fonda answered.

So that’s why homeless people like Santa Monica!

I liked two songs I heard in this 1969 film.
‘Easy Come, Easy Go’ was sung by Gig Young at the piano. 'The Best Things In Life Are Free' was memorable, too.

'Easy Come, Easy Go' lyrics
Easy come, easy go, that's the way,
If love must have it's day, then
As it came, let it go.

No, no remorse, no regrets
We should part exactly as we met
Just easy come, easy go.

We never dreamt of romantic dangers
But now that it ends, let's be friends
And not two strangers

Easy come, easy go, here we are,
So darling au revoir
It's easy come, easy go.


2009: Fast forward another 40 years to 2009 where I was reading the Wall Street Journal at 'Uncle Bill's' in Manhattan Beach, CA this morning. I was reading two editorials "The Obama Revolution" & "An Inconvenient Tax".
In a nutshell, "The Obama Revolution" explains yesterday's 2010 budget proposal via a 'new light'. The sheer magnitude of federal spending will soar in 2009 to $4 trillion. The budget has great assumptions. I did vote for Obama and I am 'crossing my fingers' that things will pan out well. The next two years will prove to be a major adjustment for Americans.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123569611695588763.html
The 'Inconvenient Tax' article explains how Obama promised again that '95% of working families" would not see their taxes rise by "a single dime". Yet his own budget reveals that taxes will rise for 100% of everyone for the sake of 'global warming'. The article reveals a 'not so pretty picture' with much uncertainty.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123569802712289113.html
"I'm sitting it out"...
as I listen to this other version of 'Easy Come, Easy Go' that I just found by Bobby Sherman from 1970.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz285B4sleQ

Twenty-five years ago today:

Monday, February 27, 1984

I read an article in the 'Oakland Tribune' about 'Women In Need' today. I decided to call The Sperm Bank of Northern California. They are located in North Oakland, near Merritt Hospital. I called them this morning and made an appointment for Wednesday at 6pm. I wonder? Will I be able to say '20 years from now' that I have a child somewhere? I am curious. Will I ever know this child? It's interesting. I want to look into it further.

I took a bike rid after work, riding until 6:30pm. I ate dinner with 'pops' again.

I was thinking about how I received a single rose from a customer today. My good deed was simple. I made a special arrangement for the payment of her telephone bill.

I saw Nici Maurino. She 'sort of' smiled at me, asking what I was up to these days.
She is too 'red neck' or 'something' for me.

Paloma telephoned with a 'Thank You' for the card I sent her. We may go out or simply get-together this Thursday night. I explained that I was going to 'Echo Beach' in San Francisco with my friend, Chris. It would be cool if I had her to dance with while we're there. Chris and I don't have a problem dancing 'solo' though. I thought it interesting when Paloma told me that a bisexual model friend she knows had invited her to Utah. Does that mean she's going to accept the invitation?

Doug Siu called. He is that little Asian guy who works at the Phone Center store. We made tentative arrangements to get-together. He wants to show me his new desk. He is so persistent and it's hard for me to say "no".

Chris Cordellos telephone just before I was about to watch the 1984 continuing TV-mini series, LACE (Phoebe Cates). He just wanted to share the scoop of the rowdy folks that were at his party last Saturday night. I told him about my 'soggy time' visit to Wolfgang's in San Francisco, my new scheduled days off (hint hint) and verified our 'Echo Beach' outing this Thursday night.
"We'll do an early celebration for your 21st birthday, Chris," I said.
I have to find him a gift. His actual birthday is March 4th.

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City Life Isn't Easy

"Surprising the number of human beings without a purpose."
-as heard in the 1975 Australian film,
'Picnic at Hanging Rock'
& based on the novel by
Joan Lindsay

I came across an article in the Boston Globe in early January 2009 by Jonah Lehrer that I have been meaning to share. He wrote about how the city hurts your brain and what you can do about it.

I laughed because after my first few days of returning to New York City I do feel a sudden 'head rush' and 'exhaustion' from all of the activity. Read these tidbit excerpts from his article (or read the entire article via the link below):

THE CITY HAS always been an engine of intellectual life, from the 18th-century coffeehouses of London, where citizens gathered to discuss chemistry and radical politics, to the Left Bank bars of modern Paris, where Pablo Picasso held forth on modern art. Without the metropolis, we might not have had the great art of Shakespeare or James Joyce; even Einstein was inspired by commuter trains.

After spending a few minutes on a crowded city street, the brain is less able to hold things in memory, and suffers from reduced self-control.

Natural settings, in contrast, don't require the same amount of cognitive effort. When a park is properly designed, it can improve the function of the brain within minutes.
The key, then, is to find ways to mitigate the psychological damage of the metropolis...seek out more natural settings...The woods have become a kind of medicine...one is better able to cope with the stresses of city life, while still enjoying its many pleasures and benefits.
www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/01/04/how_the_city_hurts_your_brain/

Twenty-five years ago today:

I took a drive to Longs Drug Store in Alameda to buy that new bike poster print that Chris and I firs saw at the Sun Valley Mall. It goes well with the Paris Bike print that I adore.

I ate breakfast at mom & dad's while assisting in peeling the potatoes (for a change of pace).

I returned home to a phone call from Frank Vasconcellos of Hayward, CA.
"I tried calling you last night to see if you wanted to see that movie...Angel," Frank said.
"Oh yeah, that was the one we saw being filmed in L.A. last year, huh?" I asked.
"It sure was," he replied as he added his insight on Tammy Duhr, "I haven't seen or heard from Tammy but she's been avoiding the skating rink."
"I wonder why?" I asked.
"Who knows...but Bill and George are there all of the time!"
He knew how to trigger my interest by mentioning my ex (George Jones).
PHOTO: August 1983-George Jones

Was Frank trying to see if I would take the bait and decide to revisit the rink? I dislike mind games. I decided to chalk this off as old and boring news. Frank went on to say that he was moving in with a friend of his named James. He described him as a nerdy Mexican-type.

I went bike riding to 'cool off'. It wasn't as far a ride as I would have liked. I returned to my place to wash clothes only to find my mom was already there helping out. She got pissed off at me for putting my newspaper on the couch. She is right. The newsprint does smear. Mom made me laugh. She could not imagine me scolding one of my friends for placing the newspaper on the couch.
"That's not true," I said even if it probably did depend on which friend.

The rest of my Sunday night was spent watching "LACE" starring Phoebe Cates on television. Dad called to see what I was up to. I simply told him I was watching a movie. I wonder if 'ma & pa' are checking up on me. It was strange tonight. As I was snacking on crackers and cheese I looked at the knife and considered death. Who would react or care? What a morbid thought. It must be a direct thought from the stupid TV-movie. I wouldn't dare.

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Dance, Sing, Floss and Travel

Communication is complicated. Each person is raised in a different family with a different definition of every word.

Love.

Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. Mediocre is as close to the bottom as it is to the top.

Be creative. Do one thing a day that scares you.

Take various vitamins. You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck of everlasting health.

Dance, sing, floss and travel.

PHOTO: During my 'clutter removal project' I found an old 1993 French magazine. This ad was rediscovered as I thumbed through the pages. I took this photo as 'creative memento'. It is so eye-fetching!

Twenty-five years ago today:

Saturday, February 25, 1984

I actually mounted my bicycle at 7am en route to the BART station on Fruitvale Avenue and disembarked at the El Cerrito Plaza station in order to work 'overtime' at the Final Accounts Collection Center. It was a new learning experience. That department needs all the help they can get. I did my fair share.

I was starved and ate at Burger King (of all places). Ugh!

I bought Chris Cordellos a neat Birthday Card of a striking blue water scene with a surfer and a shark that was seen sneaking up atop of a wave. He will love it.

I was able to leave at 2:45pm and didn't take BART. Instead I rode my bike from El Cerrito to Alameda on side streets. I arrived home by 3:30pm.

When I arrived home at 3:30pm I took a quick drive over to mom & dad's house for a 'Saturday greeting'. I ended up bike riding again until about 5 o'clock. It was time to nap after the mental and physical activity of the day.

Helen invited me to the Hilton with her visiting friend, Sheila, but I flaked out on the invitation.

I telephoned Paloma and suggested our going out tomorrow to the International Food Show in San Francisco.

On this night I drove all by my lonesome to Wolfgang's in San Francisco. The music was great. I did not have the greatest of times. I believe it's because of the scene. I stood around most of the evening with two 'Vodka Grapes' and a BECK's beer. I asked one gal to dance because she smiled at me. Her name was Dawn from Foster City, CA. She was nineteen, tan and cute (just back from a ski trip). The best lookin' girl at the club departed early. She was lookin' at me but she was with some 'goober bearded dude'.

The worst part of the night was all the time it took to finally find a parking space. To top it off I was unable to find my car at the end of the night. Once I found it I wanted to scratch the idea of going to the International Food Show in SF tomorrow. Perhaps it would have been best to go out with a pal tonight. It might have been fun with Chris (if he were in town). This coming Thursday night should be fun when Chris does return to town.

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The Caterpillar & The Butterfly

The young see what they wish to see.
The old see what they do not wish.

What must happen before a caterpillar can become a butterfly?

"The caterpillar must weave a cocoon, and live within it alone.
It becomes chrysalis, always changing, waiting until the proper time.
Then the cocoon is broken.
The butterfly escapes.
It is beautiful.
And it flies.

-Bette Bao Lord,
'Spring Moon'

PHOTO: A caterpillar I photographed on the island of St. Lucia on April 19, 2004.

Twenty-five years ago today:

I finally selected my 'floating holidays' for 1984. I was able to get April 2, 3, 4 and October 29, 30, 31 and November 1st. It's almost like having two extra weeks of vacation when one includes the attached weekends. Hoorah!

Once I arrived home I had a swift bike ride excursion in Alameda until 6:30pm. It was ever-so-rejuvenating.

I went to visit Dad and we ate dinner together. He gave me a few goodies. He really enjoys my visits. I decided to complete my ART class homework while I was there.

When I returned to my place I listened to KQAK 105.7 alternative-rock tunes as I wrote a short letter to Nancy. Don't ask me why. I just felt like I wanted to get my 'last words' out.
PHOTO: 1984-Self-Portrait, Michael Joe Armijo

I heard the CALL ME song by Blondie (from the American Gigolo soundtrack). I took it as a sign to call Paloma (probably because of those few French words).

I telephoned Paloma and we talked about my being so persistent yesterday.
"And then you gave up," she said in her heavy French accent.
It made me wonder where our relationship will lead. I decided to be frank with her and shared tidbit stories about Nici Maurino and Nancy.
"It's their loss as far as I'm concerned...not mine," I explained after I shared their annoying behavior.
She agreed with me that it is their loss.
"I enjoy something about you...like your way with words or something," Paloma said.

CALL ME
by Blondie lyrics

Colour me your colour, baby
Colour me your car
Colour me your colour, darling
I know who you are
Come up off your colour chart
I know where you're coming from
Call me on the line
Call me call me any anytime
Call me my love you can call me any day or night
Call me
Cover me with kisses, baby
Cover me with love
Roll me in designer sheets
I'll never get enough
Emotions come I don't know why
Cover up love's alibi
Call me on the line
Call me call me any anytime
Call me oh my love
When you're ready we can share the wine
Call me
Ooh, he speaks the languages of love
Ooh, amore, chiamami chiamami.
Oo, appelle-moi mon cherie, appelle-moi
Anytime anyplace anywhere anyway
Anytime anyplace anywhere any day, anyway
Call me my life
Call me call me any anytime
Call me for a ride
Call me call me for some overtime
Take me out and show me off
Put me on the scene
Dress Me in the fashions of the nineteen nighties
You're the man no in between
I know what you words can mean
Call me call me any anytime
Call me for a ride
Call me call me for some overtime
Call me in my life
Call me call me in a sweet design
Call me call me for your lover's lover's alibi
Call me on the line
Call me call me any anytime
Call me
Oh, call me, ooh ooh ah.
Call me my love.
Call me, call me any anytime

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Live For The Moment

The 1719 published novel by Daniel Defoe (Robinson Crusoe) is about a man shipwrecked alone as he struggles against hardship, privation, loneliness, and cannibals in his attempt to survive on a deserted island.

“All this while the storm increased, and the sea, which I had never been upon before, went very high, tho’ nothing like what I have seen many times since. I expected every wave would have swallowed us up...and in this agony of mind I made many vows and resolutions.”
-Daniel Defoe
from 'Robinson Crusoe'

Early this morning I heard on the news about a British couple who were rescued from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean by an Italian tanker after spending 40 days lost at sea in their yacht (after leaving the West Coast of Africa on January 9, 2009 with intentions of reaching Antigua in April 2009).
www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,498347,00.html
The dilemma of being lost made me think of Robinson Crusoe. And now I feel like reading--once again--the classic book 'The Life of Pi' by Yann Martel. Pi is 'lost at sea' for over 200 days. The magical story takes you on a journey of survival, hopes, dreams and more.

“Only fear can defeat life.”
-Yann Martel
in his book 'The Life of Pi'
www.amazon.com/Life-Pi-Illustrated-Yann-Martel/dp/0151013837/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235417381&sr=8-2
In the quote above Pi is explaining the dangers of fear, but at the same time seems to be talking himself out of being afraid. Fear can cause the loss of belief and the loss of reason. The “light of words” defeats fear by not allowing your mind to wallow in it.

You always have a choice and the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive thought. Visualize your eventual demise. It has an amazing effect on how you live for the moment.

Twenty-five years ago today:

Thursday, February 23, 1984

My immediate supervisor, Sue Reppert, asked if I wanted to work overtime in El Cerrito (on Saturday).
"Yes, sure," I replied. Why the hell not? I will still be able to ride my bike all day Sunday.

I gave Paloma a call at 3pm. She was at her workout class. She is so devoted to weight training. I could use some tips from her.

PHOTO: 1984-"Paloma"

When I telephoned Paloma at 5pm she was not at home. While I was at the Velo Sport Bike Shop in Berkeley I called again at 6pm. She was finally home. I picked her up and we went to another Bike Shop near University and Shattuck. Our time was tight due to the movie start time, so we hit McDonald's for a quick 'to go' meal.
We did have time to browse at greeting cards. That was fun.

We saw "Moon In The Gutter" starring Nastassja Kinski and the co-feature film called "Invitation au Voyage".
www.imdb.com/title/tt0084149/
The movies had their fair share of good qualities. However, both Paloma and I agreed that we've seen better flicks. I kissed Paloma good night.
"I'll call you on Friday," I said as we both smiled at one another.

The timing of Chris Cordellos is always unexpected. As soon as I walked in my door he telephoned from Arcata, CA. We talked for a little over half an hour. We spoke of OREO cookie ice-cream, a questionable Guardian Angel from New York, the blond gentleman who eyed me while I was in my car today, Chris' sexy body versus mine, our missing one another, a possible Friday night party in Arcata tomorrow night, an Echo Beach dance outing in San Francisco next Thursday night, the possibility of his moving in with me and my folks' final purchase of a new townhouse in Alameda. We finally but hesitantly said 'good night'.

It was fun talking to Chris. I also had a great evening with Paloma. I have an optimistic attitude. It feels good. I never feel very bad these days. I intend to make every effort to feel good in all of my future days.

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Hollywood Glimpse

"Do not think that beauty means much in life."
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"


It is the 81st Annual Academy Award presentation tonight. Hugh Jackman is the master of ceremonies.

I saw him in the 2008 film AUSTRALIA. I absolutely loved it. I would have chosen it as a 'Best Picture' nominee. He has great showmanship and I believe him to be a great choice.

It will be interesting to see who wins the coveted Oscar this year. My personal choices for Best Supporting Actor and Actress are Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight) and Penelope Cruz (Vicky, Cristina Barcelona).


My personal ARMIJO AWARD goes to Kate Winslet for 'The Reader' and Sean Penn for 'Milk' as Best Actress and Best Actor.

They are both so OUTSTANDING.


I would not be disappointed if Frank Langella won for 'Best Actor'. I saw his performance in the 2007 film "Starting Out In The Evening" which was phenomenal. And his "Frost/Nixon" performance was truly brilliant.

The Best Picture will likely be "Slumdog Millionaire". It is the all around favorite.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIzbwV7on6Q
I liked the "Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and "The Reader" better.
There were more significant lines throughout these films that captured me.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L6K3fkwr-Y
"The Reader" was one of my favorite books this year, so I knew a lot of the intricate details while watching the film. It's quite emotional.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kifRQG_M-Do

I read in the Sunday New York Times this morning that an honorary Oscar will go to Jerry Lewis. It's so well-deserved after so much time. It will be fun to see the film clips of his magnificent career.

I will be watching the entire Oscar show at the CAMEO THEATER in St. Helena, California tonight. Exciting!

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 22, 1984

My work day was all right. I telephoned Chris Cordellos this morning. We are going to see the Nastassja Kinski film tomorrow night. His father has promised to pay for his therapy in Arcata, CA. I guess that means he will be moving further North in about eight weeks time. Who knows when he shall return? We have made plans to celebrate on March 3rd or 4th for his 21st birthday.

I watched a preview of the movie "Angel" today. I actually saw some of the actual filming in Hollywood, CA (when I was there in June 1983).
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xLhYLToOuk
I have not heard from Paloma, Leslie or Nancy. I guess they are now part of my past.

I forgot to document my visit last Sunday to the Ice-Cream Dock. I had an orange sherbet freeze there. It is so cool and refreshing. I bought some Cookies n' Cream Ice-Cream for my brother, John. Then John had to go and rent a dumb movie again (Spring Fever). We watched 'Dynasty' together afterward.

Ann-Margret is on my agenda for tonight. She has a guest appearance on The Tonight Show. I am so looking forward to her world premiere TV movie "A Streetcar Named Desire". Everyone "desires".

I fell 'in love' with Ann-Margret after watching the exciting chemistry between her and Elvis in the classic film "Viva Las Vegas".

I applied for a CITICORP Visa with a $5000 credit limit. How exciting!

Do you love shocking surprises? I was informed by Chris today that he is 'definitely' leaving for Arcata.
"I have to leave at eight o'clock tomorrow morning," Chris said sadly.
This was discouraging news. He made a point of expressing his sadness. I, too, felt rather distraught.
"Oh well," I thought, "another one bites the dust."

I took my bike for a spin until 6:30pm to analyze my situations. A few new people crossed my path and gave me nods of the head or a brief "hello". I am curious to know the lives of some of these people that I randomly see as I pass them on my bicycle. Perhaps I shall.

"I told one my good friends, Clay, about my feelings about you, Michael," Chris continued, "and I told him how I have continuous thoughts of you."
"You did?"
"Clay couldn't believe it," Chris said.
Chris went on to say that Clay told his friend, Elliot, about it all. Elliot got angry and 'chewed out' Chris.
"I don't want a faggot as a friend," Elliot screamed at Chris.

I could understand Chris' hurt feelings. Even though I have never experienced anything like this I understood the discrimination. I tried to reassure Chris that 'Clay and Elliot' seemed NOT to be as great of friends as he thought they were. Chris felt better after we had discussed the incident. In time, our relationship might work.
"I am learning who my real friends are," Chris said.
It made me wonder who my real friends would be (if they knew about this other side of me?).

I was dozing off after the 'Dynasty' episode when the telephone rang. It was for me. I was kind of surprised by the phone call.
"Oh, hi, it's you," I said when I heard Paloma's voice.
It looks like there has been a turn of events as Paloma and I made a date for tomorrow night to see Nastassja Kinski in "Moon In The Gutter".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wgj__wUFzM
I was beginning to feel that Paloma and I were so "over" because whenever I tried to make a date on a Friday or Saturday night she would never commit. It was only weekdays with her because she would prefer to go out with her girlfriends. At least this is how she makes me feel. I won't even get into how she 'faced me' with three excuses regarding the potential lunch dates. I don't know what to make of it. She did make a point of saying she would definitely meet me for lunch sometime.

"I'm going to Paris for two months this summer," Paloma said.
Everyone is going somewhere (except for me). I am envious. I wish I were going. At least I can trust that my Huntington Beach, California trip will be a provocative escape.

Paloma and I had a most exciting chat this evening. I even made a suggestion that she become my roommate. (?) My brother John will be moving out. I don't know. Maybe Chris should be my roommate. All I know is that I am so happy that Paloma called. We are going to see "Nastassja" tomorrow.

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The Mini-Reunion

"What is life but foolish desires and imperfect choices."
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"

PHOTO: Cyndy Whitmore-Davis, Michael J Armijo, Julie Roth at our mini-reunion dinner on February 20, 2009. Photo taken by Alan N. Freiman.

During the summer of 1970 my parents, two brothers and I moved away from '1447 16th Avenue' in Oakland, CA to '356 Magnolia Drive' in Alameda, CA. The first night of adjustment in our new home is easily remembered. My little brother, Johnny, asked the key question at only 7 years old.
"Mom when are we going home?" Johnny asked.
I laughed.
"We are home," mom said with a smile.

September 1970 approached and it was the beginning of 6th grade at Lincoln middle school. I didn't know any classmates and it was a public school. Besides kindergarten I had known only St. Anthony's Catholic School. My uniform days of gray pants, white shirt and maroon sweater were at an end. The freedom of 'free dress' was something I enjoyed, offering me free expression (even if bell bottoms seemed to be the fad of the times).

When I received my class picture for Barnard C. Livermore's 6th grade class I memorized the names of everyone in my class. I'm sure I had a crush on every girl in the class at some time or another. Two girls in the class were Cyndy Whitmore and Julie Roth. They'd been pals since 4th grade. Last night, I arranged a mini-reunion dinner. I hadn't seen Cyndy since the 10 year reunion. I met Julie for lunch in San Francisco sometime in the mid 1980's. It was a fun-filled evening of reminiscing, 'catching up', wine, dinner and spirits.

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 21, 1984
I called Chris Cordellos twice while at work. He is beginning to mean more to me now. I can't quite put my finger on the exact reason besides our mutual attraction.
I suggested to Chris the idea of seeing the new Nastassja Kinski flick on Thursday night. Paloma has not called me. We were supposed to see it together. I don't know?
Helen invited me to dinner but I had to decline. My layout and design was scheduled for tonight. I stopped for a nibble of a BBQ chicken dinner with my dad before I left for class. I am happy I did not play "hooky". It was a rewarding evening of creative learning. The California College of Arts & Crafts is a good school.
www.cca.edu/

John rented the film "Deliverance". I thought it was a dumb choice. I didn't like it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9R4t_Nwy5E
Sherri watched it, too. She gave me a bite of her pineapple-cherry missile popsicle stick. Yummy.

I called Chris just before bedtime. He is at such an indecisive point in his life. 'Should I move to Arcata, CA?' is his key question. He has made hints that he is leery of leaving me, knowing that distance always makes the heart grow fonder. But it can also make the heart forget (especially if someone more intriguing enters the picture). What am I writing here? Whatever Chris decides to do will be the right choice for him. I trust we shall always be friends. This reminds me that I want to try that restaurant in Walnut Creek called "Let's Be Friends".

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To Abide and Endure

He threw me a quince.
I gave him a jade pendant;
No, no just as requital
But to make our love lasting.
He threw me a peach
I gave him an emerald;
No, not just as requital
But to make our love endure.
He threw me a plum,
I gave him a black jade;
No, not just as requital
But to make our love abide.
-The Book of Songs

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 20, 1984,
Monday

It's Washington's Birthday. It is also the fourth day in a row that I have spent partly with Chris Cordellos.

I went to visit mom. My bike was there and I took a good ride. I spent a lot of the day riding with Suzy Miller.

When I returned home I found John getting ready for work. Sherri was there, too. She is getting bigger. The baby is making its presence known.

Mom and Dad are more than likely buying a townhouse on Cook Lane for $124,950. It's a good thing. John will move there and I can remain here.

Chris called to suggest a visit to Alameda via BART. At first I didn't really want him to visit because I knew I'd probably be driving him all the way back to Concord. He ended up coming via BART after all. We had satisfying sex.

It was made easy on me to just drive him to the Fruitvale BART station. I read him a few excerpts from my journal. My words definitely need some polishing and rewrites. But I can't make those revisions until I am age fifty or so.

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Breathe & Sweat

'Men should always wear a white undershirt.'
-as read at Hipinion.com

Advice for the day:

Breathe: This lets you live in the moment.

Stretch: This releases toxins from your muscles.

Do yoga so you can 'Remain Active' in physical sports as you age.

Wear sunscreen.

Listen, Listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.

Sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.

Twenty-five years ago today:

Sunday, February 19, 1984

I woke up at 10:30am when the telephone rang.
"Do you want to go and see some open houses with us today?" mom asked.
"I'll let you know later because I want to find out if my bike is ready," I replied.

The sun seems to be making an attempt to come out. I want to lay out and get some rays. Better yet, a bike ride would be better. I did learn that my bike would be ready by noon. I picked it up and did a 'Ride Like the Wind'.
PHOTO: 1984-Michael J Armijo, riding his bike
Taken by Virginia Marie Lucero-Armijo (mom)

I decided to lay out and 'catch some ray's in mom's backyard. Then I thought I might go to the beach in my little gray bathing suit when Chris Cordellos called (while I was changing into the bathing suit).

He persuaded me to drive out to Concord, making me believe it would be much warmer there. We laid out by the pool while thinking and speaking of the good time we had in the Concord Hills last night.

We went out for some blueberry cheesecake ice-cream at Baskin-Robbins. Chris likes it when I drive with the convertible top down. It feels good as we ride and feel the warm breeze. We came across a bike shop that I wanted to check out but it was closed. We drove farther out to Berkeley and at at a Taiwanese Restaurant. It was kind of Chris to treat me.

Later that night we drove to the Tiffany's Nightclub in Walnut Creek. This club allows admissions to those who are age 17 and up and 'no alcohol'. We were waiting in line for a long time just to be admitted, so we decided to split the scene. We found our way to Dan's Cocktail Lounge. After a quick drink we popped over to 'Dolce' for a Cafe Latte that was simply "delicioso". We took advantage of the Italian ice-cream 'to go', too. I drove Chris home and that pretty much summed up our evening.

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The Importance of Water

"Water is life's mater and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water."
-Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
(Hungarian Biochemist,
1937 Nobel Prize for Medicine,
1893-1986)

PHOTO: Jardin du Luxembourg (Luxembourg Gardens) in Paris had a public photo exhibition of various photography from various decades. I was quite taken by this photo of the spiritual monks amidst the water falls. I had to take a photo of 'the photo' as a memento.

Drink FRESH water and as much water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

Observe a plant before and after being watered and relate these benefits to your BODY and BRAIN. Coke, Pepsi and all other soda pops will be known as the cigarette of the future. Colas are NOT a substitute for water. They're just another cheap drug made to look great by advertisers

Twenty-five years ago today:

The 3-day weekend has begun. Hoorah!

I awoke at about 9:am and rode my bicycle to the Alameda Bike Shop. They will repair my recurring 'squeaky wheel' by Monday. I bought a pair of new bicycle gloves while at the shop. I walked home.

I met a gal named Linda who gave me a bite of her apple!
"At least you're in good shape," she said as I realized I was walking along in my bike shorts outfit.
I know where she works on Park Street. It's a place called 'That Lady...'.
"I might drop in on you sometime," I said with a smile.

I continued my walk until I reached the end of Otis Drive. I was in luck as my brother, John, was driving by and he gave me a lift to mom and dad's. We both took advantage of the Saturday morning breakfast.

I started watching the last episode of the TV-mini series (CELEBRITY). John and I left and ended up watching the end of it at our place.

Chris Cordellos called to say he was driving to Alameda to see me. He had his fathers' car because his brother took his car to go to Utah with his girlfriend. His brother did this without his permission. Ouch!

Chris drove up in a giant gold convertible. We cruised along South Shore and Shoreline Drive, feeling the wind blowing in our hair. We returned to my pad where I introduced Chris to my brother.

Chris wanted me to go to Concord to lay out by the pool with him. It's much more sunny in Contra Costa County.
"Okay, I'll go right after I wash my car," I said.

When I arrived into Concord I saw Chris was the only one by the swimming pool. Clouds were forming around and over the sun. It made laying out hopeless. I met his mom. She has an emphysema problem and has to have an air filtering system inside her home.

Chris and I decided to go to the Sun Valley Shopping Center. We browsed at various stores and I critiqued Chris' taste over certain clothes. I don't think he appreciated it much.

We ate at the grody McDonald's. Yuck!
(grody (adjective): so-called Valleyspeak originating from San Fernando Valley in California; gross; e.g., "Oh grody to the max!" translated is "Oh how very disgusting!"

We returned to his mom's home where Chris showered (and changed his clothes). I was left to thumb through a few magazines. I think Chris wanted to go dancing but I didn't feel like it.

We ended up buying some Lowenbrau beer and drove up Fish Ranch Road to talk and 'exercise' our physical attractions. We finally tired of that spot and went to Berkeley. We found ourselves at SPATS where we enjoyed 'Mexican coffee' and 'hot tub coffee' specialty drinks. We followed the SPATS' visit with a slice of pizza at "Blondies".

Eventually we found ourselves back in Concord, parked nearby his house. We started to really 'get into things' in the car this time. We decided to get out of the car and go up beyond the hill. We thought of lying on a towel to look up at the stars but decided against it. Instead, Chris went inside his house for a 'sleeping bag'. Chris had a brainstorm idea for us to camp out on this Concord hill. It was a fun idea (just very cold).

We laughed a lot as we both crammed into one sleeping bag. Yes, it was funny. Chris went back inside for some 'Oil of Olay' and ...
...
The positioning was awkward but the timing was perfect.
"You know, I have never done anything like that before," Chris revealed.
"I'm surprised," I said as I simply assumed he was much more experienced. There is an aura or impression that he gives out. Perhaps it is his fashion sense or some of his mannerisms. I don't know.
"I did have that relationship with my friend Tony but it ended like that," Chris said as he immediately snapped his fingers.
I shared my mini-stories on significant relationships of 1983 (Frank Vasconcellos, Tammy Duhr, George Jones, Howard Edelstein and Paloma Sanchez-Guerra).

It really started to get cold and our body heat was hardly enough. We decided to cancel out the all-night 'camp out'. After we finally found my underwear at the bottom of the sleeping bag, fumbled, dressed and laughed we left the Concord hill.
It was 5am by the time I left. I was in my own bed (in Alameda) by 5:45am. John was awake (doing heaven knows what--could Sherri have just left?)

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Confidence & Courage

Like any man who succeeded by his wits,
he had his own sources of information.
-Bette Bao Lord

I recently finished an epic novel about old China called 'Spring Moon'. There were so many good lines. I shall share a clever tale that I took from the book that is quite inspirational for 'confidence and courage':

A tiger came upon a fox and was about to devour him when his meal shouted in a most regal manner, "Take care, my friend, do you not realize that I have been appointed the King of the Beasts by the gods? Should you touch even a hair of mine, they will punish you!"
The tiger roared with laughter.
"You could not be more mistaken, for I am the King of Beasts!"
"Then follow me into the woods and see if all the animals there do not flee from me."
The tiger agreed and trailed the fox. When he saw for himself that all the animals fled at the sight of the puny fellow, he bowed his head and slunk into the underbrush.
So sure was the fox that he continued on his way without a backward glance.
--Chinese Tale

Be sure you read this as a bedtime story to your little ones (nightly) until they 'get it'.

Twenty-five years ago today:

Friday, February 17, 1984

This past week was a slump in terms of sales. It's a bit depressing. During lunch I bought a puzzle book and a get well card for Chris. I had planned to visit him at the hospital; however, it just so happens that he was able to check out early this morning (?).

Once I arrived home Chris called to say he was in Alameda and suggested we go to see a movie.
"Yeah, I took a bus ride from the hospital to BART to Downtown Oakland where I applied for a couple of jobs at Grodins and Emporium," he said.
"You kept yourself busy!"
"I was at your Pac Bell building but I didn't see you come out at five," he said.
He further explained how he met an old Coast Guard buddy who is stationed in Alameda. That was where he was calling me from.

Before I knew it, Chris was at my place and we eventually left for Walnut Creek to see the new Mariel Hemingway movie called "Star 80".

We had a light bite at Round Table Pizza before the show. They actually 'carded' me for ordering a Lowenbrau Dark beer.
"Yuck, I hate dark beer," I thought. Why did I order it?
Chris ordered a Moosehead Lager beer. They didn't card him though.

Chris made me laugh when he explained how he was the only white person on the bus ride today.
"Did you sit in the back of the bus?" I asked.
It was fun rappin', jokin' as we drank our beers. Some girls gave us each a slice of pizza to try. That was sweet of them.

"Star 80" was good. (Just kidding) The movie was pretty shitty (to use Chris' adjective). That's okay. Chris and I still had a great time at the movies.
I drove Chris home where we parked near his house and 'fooled around' for a while.
It wasn't the first time I realized what an uncomfortable reality my car is when sharing intimate moments. We talked more until he went inside. I drove home and thought, "I should lay out in the sun during my Saturday day."

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Fire In The Hole

"Your gift is like no other," he said, and to himself, I shall treasure it always.
-Bette Bao Lord,
in her book
Spring Moon

For the last few years one of my photographer friends has shared words of wisdom and her expertise of 'floral photos' with me. Her name is Andi Hardwick. In her portfolio at EyeFetch.com she wrote:

'You'll see a lot of shots of flowers for a reason. When I was laid off from my job as a PC designer, for the third time, my partner and I decided to start our own business, a neighborhood garden center, "Grandma's Gardens". In order to identify the Iris colors, I took their portraits. Needless to say, we have many more flowers now, and they all smile for the camera. I hope some of their faces infect yours with smiles also. Enjoy!'

I had an ongoing joke with her about one floral photo (pictured above). She even changed the caption title to one I suggested: "Fire In The Hole". I bought a greeting card version of the shot at her RedBubble.com site:
www.redbubble.com/people/ahardwick

Andi passed away last Tuesday, February 10th in San Jose, CA. She fought a hard battle not once but twice against cancer, this time it won the war. She was so talented and I will miss her photography. Her charm and humor lives on with me. I never did meet her face-to-face but I always felt her spirit, love and joy.

Today I have chosen an excerpt from a recent book (I recently finished reading: 'Spring Moon' by Bette Bao Lord) as a tribute to her life and recent passing:

Why do children cry in the night? He tried to remember.
He asked softly, "What is the matter? Do not cry! Was it a bad dream?"
The child shook his head. Slowly the tears fell like brave soldiers before the King.
"Was it a ghost?"
"I..." His words burst forth. "I do not want to die, I do not want to die like True Mother. Why do I have to die?"
He put his arms around him, comforting him.
"You see, if no one died, the world would be a terrible place. There would be too many people, no room to grow food or play. So it is better to have a season and live each minute until it is time to join our ancestors."
The boy nodded, "Tell me what will death be like?"
"Do you remember what it was like before you were born?"
He shook his head.
"Did you feel anything bad?"
"No."
"Were you frightened?"
"No."
"I think that is what death will be like."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now lie back and I will sit here until you are asleep."

Twenty-five years ago today:

Thursday, February 16, 1984

Lexi called me from 'Passport Photo' in San Francisco (her workplace) while I was working today. I returned her call and we exchanged a few words.
"I saw Bill at the Trocadero Night Club and he mentioned you," Lexi shared.
"Yeah, what did he say?" I asked.
"He actually said you were an 'old age' item and that he hadn't talked to you lately," she revealed.
Did she call him on his behalf? Did she really call just to share her conversation with Bill Helbush? She wanted to discuss more.
"Why don't I call you at around seven o'clock?" she asked.
"Sure."

I had a traditional dinner at home with mom, dad and Tony before I headed out with errands on my mind. It was fun to experience family, fun, laughter and togetherness.

I went to Pro-Cuts in Alameda for a quick hair trimming. James cut my hair. He was a nice, quiet, reserved sort of fellow. He captured my interest during our small talk. I was also happy with the haircut. I might have to go to Pro-Cuts more often.

I loved the sight of the full moon during my drive into Berkeley, California. I was looking for the Velo Sport Bike Shop. I had no luck finding it on Grove Street. Little did I know that the street name was recently changed to Martin Luther King Road. I was so 'fed up' from driving around in circles that I split the scene and went home.

I arrived home to the telephone ringing. It was Chris Cordellos, of course. He is still in the hospital. We talked about his day...then my day.
"I will try and visit you on Friday after work," I said.
I could almost see his smile through the invisible telephone wires.

I was surprised to receive a call from Alexis. We made a date for this coming Saturday. She agreed to come to my pad.
"I will be here," I said, "just call me between six and seven."
I figured we could redefine specific plans at that time.

Mom dropped by later to bring a VHS-videotape. She insisted it was a good TV-movie. I was too sleepy to watch it tonight though. I went straight to bed.

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The Divided Path

"If you expect too much of people you'll always be disappointed."
-as heard in
the 1949 film,
The Heiress

Twenty-five years ago

Tuesday, February 14, 1984

Today is Valentine's Day and I have to say it was a "blast". I had a great time at work, receiving a number of Valentine's from co-workers (Rose, Judy, Sonora and Don). The day had me in a 'good mood'. I gave Valentine's to all of the girls in the office.

My Art class was 'okay'. I learned 'paste-up'. I stopped at The Record Factory before class and bought a birthday card for Dave Vigil. He loved the card (it depicted a girl in a black bikini with the words 'Beat It').

My bicycle still "squeaks". I lubricated the chain with oil from my Dad's garage but it didn't get rid of the "squeaking". Oh well. I enjoyed some homemade stew at Mom & Dad's. I made it to my Art Class and didn't leave until 9:30pm.

I could have raided the skating rink in San Leandro on this Tuesday night but decided against it. It seriously crossed my mind. Instead I called Chris Cordellos at around 10:10pm and we talked until 1am.

We had a good 'sharing' talk. He complained of his $1400 balance on his MACY's bill, his "crabby" mothers' mood today and whether or not he should move in with his brother (in Sonoma) or go to New York in July. I made him feel better as I helped him to weigh his alternatives. He thinks I'm so "together". At least he keeps saying so. I suppose I should be flattered. I like Chris. He is too cool for words. I like his ambitious nature.

February 15, 1984

Dave Vigil really loved the birthday card I chose for him as he mentioned it again today.

I called Barbara Reynolds because she is still out sick today.

It was raining so Helen and I had lunch in the company cafeteria. I only sold two custom calling features. I had my full share of "rotten" customers today, too. I trust that tomorrow will be better.

After work I drove to Oak Knoll Hospital to see Chris Cordellos. He appeared happy to see me.
"I was looking forward to your visit," Chris said.
He made me laugh.
"Yeah, the medical staff loves me," he said with a smile.
This didn't surprise me because he has a flair of charm that will perk people up. I remained with Chris, rapping about music, my day and his pain until 7:30pm. It was nice seeing him again (even if it was in a hospital).

When I arrived home I called my Dad and was pleasantly surprised when my Mom answered.
"What? You didn't go to work today and didn't tell me" I exclaimed.
I rushed over and munched on two mini-hamburgers. We watched a bit of the Winter Olympics.

I told mom that I had gone to Oak Knoll Hospital to see my friend, Chris.
She shared her prediction of Sherri having a baby girl.

While at mom's I brought my mail and filled out a $5000 credit limit preferred Citicorp Bank VISA application. I left and am her now--at my home--collecting my thoughts.

I never did call Jerry Chalmers. Should I? I haven't called Paloma or Tammy lately. They haven't bothered to call me either (nor has Nancy).
"The hell with them," I thought to myself.

Chris Cordellos seems to me the number one 'cool cat' as of late. I will call him again now. He's on a hospital bed, so he'll surely answer. After the phone call I have come to the conclusion that Chris really likes me a lot. I can't quite explain or 'figure' what it is about him me that he finds so extra special. I love to hear his complements. I believe there is something special in everyone (even when you have to dig deep to find it).

I believe that 'whatever I have' shines out more to certain individuals than others. Chris and I concluded our chat and I began reading him parts of 'the beginnings' of my journal. I was ready to reveal more insight of 'me' to 'him'.
Who knows where the path will lead?

John Armijo, my brother, returned home. He started asking me about his old baseball cards. I didn't have the heart to tell him. I had sold them for $25 to Stan Panenka, a college friend in Sacramento. That's ancient history. They had been stored in a closet for years and now he asks about them. What gives?

I watched a bit of "The Dove" with John. I hit the sack, thinking about the charismatic Chris (and of course, wondering about the ever busy Nancy).

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Couldn't You Use A Hug ?

"I think of you constantly."
-Montgomery Clift
in the 1949 film,
The Heiress

Photo: Strangers-This photo was taken in Paris, France in July 2008. The three flirtatious fellows asked me to photograph them with the two blond tourists. I obliged. When the three mischievous fellows asked to use my camera to take my photo I did not oblige. I could easily envision them running off with my camera. All I have left is the memory of their faces and the random 'hugging'.

I rediscovered these words on a sheet of paper in an old photo album yesterday:

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

Hugs make us feel happy. They are so good for us that some psychologists say when we don't get enough hugs, we feel stressed and alone. But if you aren't receiving and giving 12 hugs a day, you don't have to go without. Just Ask! Now I bet you're saying, "Ya, right". But you would be surprised how easy it is because everyone loves to get a hug.

Why does hugging make us feel so good? It helps the body's immune system. It cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.

Huggins is all natural. It is organic, naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, and is 100 percent wholesome.

Hugging is practically perfect. There are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic check-ups, no monthly payments, it's inflation proof, non-fattening, theft proof, non-taxable, non-polluting and, of course, fully returnable.

So, consider this letter worth one hug in the mail. Now, I want you to make sure you get enough hugs each day for growth! I'm going to check on you.

Share A Hug Today.

Twenty-five years ago today:

Monday, February 13, 1984

My day started out "crappy" because I was caught in the middle of a traffic jam on Highway 17 (because of some accident). The tardy didn't count against me because so many of my co-workers were late as well.

I read my Bicycling Magazine during my break. I spoke to Steve Gaster a bit. At lunchtime I skidaddled over to the Art Supply store for some order filler. Robert, the clerk, was overly accommodating. It was a kind gesture though.

I received a Valentine from Barbara Reynolds. Helen reminded me to bring goodies to work tomorrow. I think I'll bring fortune cookies for Valentine's Day.

Jerry Chalmers telephoned, asking me to give him a call tomorrow.
"Let's do something over the weekend," Jerry suggested.
I don't know about that idea. I only know I wanted to go on a bicycling galore excursion over this three-day weekend. I am loving my Bicycling Magazine. It inspires.

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The Clutter Removal Project

"I want to understand other points of view."
-as heard in the film
"Daniel Deronda"

I laughed when my dear friend, Barbara Reynolds, advised Alan and I of a book called "It's All Too Much". She heard the author (Peter Walsh) on Oprah. The advice isn't too far-fetched from what we are trying to do. We are in the middle of a 'clutter removal project' at our home in Marina Del Rey, California. Things just seem to collect and we don't throw out enough.

Isn't the idea of buying the Peter Walsh book adding to my clutter?
www.amazon.com/Its-All-Too-Much-Living/dp/0743292650/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1234464864&sr=8-1
I suppose the book is worth it if it helps me to become more of a minimalist.

Woman's Day magazine raves about this book as being "The best organizing advice we've ever heard!" Who knew there is an expert on "clutter management"? I don't own the book but Part I supposedly examines the problem by explaining how it happens and how to face it without excuses and discouragement. Part II offers a step-by-step approach. This didn't surprise me since my friend, Barbara, loves 12-Steps (or less) advice.

I believe the book explains 'surface clutter' (like the stuff on my desk right now) and provides a household plan to get started. I just added it to my Amazon.com 'Wish List'. In the meantime, the 'clutter removal project' continues using our own methods. I'm on my way to 'Goodwill', 'The Salvation Army' and 'Out of the Closet' today.

I won't even get into organizing the closets--but I do have a plan (California Closets). I found this page of tips at the Good Housekeeping website:
www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/easy-closet-organizing-tips

Twenty-five years ago today:

Sunday, February 12, 1984

This morning mom told me that Tony attended an event at The Moscone Center in San Francisco yesterday. Tony went on to explain that it was a celebrity, producer, director sales event for General Station managers in the San Francisco-Bay Area.
"I saw Ann Turkel there," Tony was saying loud enough for me to hear. He was munching on mom's homemade pancake breakfast. He knew how much I adored that actress/cover girl (Ann Turkel)-even if she did marry Richard Harris in 1974.

Inspiration took over as I decided to call on Helen Wong to join me for a visit to the Moscone Center. We were semi-dressed up and looking pretty good together. We actually saw Bonni Franklin, Robert Culp, Ben Murphy, Joanne Greggains, Elaine Joyce, John Byner and Roger Ebert. There was no sign of Ann Turkel though (sadness).
www.imdb.com/name/nm0877183/bio
I did get up my nerve to question Roger Ebert, the film critic.
"Did you like Natassja Kinki's new movie, 'The Moon In The Gutter'," I asked.
The film was French and also known as 'La Lune dans le caniveau'. I knew he'd know what I was talking about. Of course, I was stumped with his response.
"Hated it!" he replied.

Helen didn't want to stick around. I could read her body language. So after we talked to 'Denny' who was in charge of the DYNASTY 'fake foyer' display we left. We had our fair share of champagne and hors d'oeuvres.

Once Helen had departed I went to Mom & Dad's for rest and relaxation. I persuaded mom to join me for dinner at Horatio's in San Leandro. It was an enjoyable outing. She came with me to my pad and I witnessed the "Mom surprise". She had been there tidying up the place. She knew I would be smiling from ear to ear at how she cleaned up. After she left I spent time cleaning my bike.

John and Sherri appeared thereafter to join me in the screening of the TV-mini series "Celebrity". The handsome Joseph Bottoms was one of the key characters. It was great! After the show I 'hit the sack'. Yawn.

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Valentine, The Friend of Lovers

"It's like Oscar Wilde says. We regret only those things we didn't do."
-Christopher Bram
in his novel,
Surprising Myself

It was about one year ago that I was vacationing in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Alan and I were dining at a restaurant on Valentine's Day 2008 called 'Patagonia Sur' with great friends (John & Pamela).
http://www.concierge.com/travelguide/buenosaires/restaurants/15365
While I was there a story was written, attached to the menu (which I kept). I thought it was suitable to share during this Valentine's week:

The legend says that in the city of Rome, in the years around 270AD there lived an Emperor named Claudius. He is known in history as Claudius the Cruel.

Near his palace was a beautiful temple where the priest Valentine served. The Romans loved him dearly and assembled in the temple to hear his words. War broke out in the Roman Empire. Claudius summoned the citizens forth to battle and year after year the fighting continued. Many of the Romans were unwilling to go. The married men did not want to leave their families. The younger men did not wish to leave their sweethearts. The Emperor was angry when soldiers were too few. He ordered that no marriages should be celebrated and that all engagements must be broken off immediately.

Now the good priest Valentine heard of the Emperor's command and was very sad. When a young couple came to the temple, he secretly united them in marriage in front of the sacred altar. Another pair sought his aid and in secret he wedded them. Others came and quietly were married. Valentine was the friend of lovers in every district of Rome.

But, such secrets could not be kept for long in Rome. At last word of Valentine's acts reached the palace and Claudius the Cruel was angry, exceedingly angry. He summoned his soldiers.
"Go! Take that priest in the temple! Cast him into a dungeon! No man in Rome, priest or not, shall disobey my commands!"

Valentine was dragged from the temple, away from the altar where a young maiden and a Roman youth stood, ready to be married, and the soldiers took him off to prison.

Many asked Claudius to release Valentine but Claudius refused to do so, and in a dungeon Valentine languished and died. His devoted friends buried him in the church of St. Praxedes. When you to got Rome you can see the very place.

It was the year 270AD, on the 14th of February.

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 11, 1984, Saturday

I worked from 9 to 5. It seemed like a waste of a Saturday with the reviewing of so many accounts--as far as I was concerned. I still made it 'fun'. I was thankful that the company supplied lunch for the worker-bees. The meal came from "Merrit's Chicken". The food kept me productive.

After the grueling work day I cruised on home and called Suzy. She wasn't home. I tried calling her mom's house.
"Oh Suzy went to Tahoe with the church group," Mrs. Miller said.
And so, I spoke to Michael Miller (Suzy's brother) and we decided to go to the UC Theater ourselves to see the 'Fanny & Alexander' film. It was a good show.

Michael Miller is amusing. He's very fun and makes me laugh with his impromptu statements. I think we both learned from 'Fanny & Alexander'. Childhood memories are precious; yet, some people can be 'rotten' (keeping in mind the cruelty of Alexander's step-father).

Michael Miller and I went to Barney's after the show. It was funny because we had intended to eat there but it was closed, so we just used the restroom. We began to talk to the lonely janitor on duty. The janitor treated us with two free slices of the cheesecake. We left for Nation's Giant Hamburgers on Webster Street in Alameda and enjoyed our milkshakes.

While in the 'burger joint' I noticed a stoner lookin' chick with her sleazy mother. Sometimes I wonder about people's lives. They looked particularly strange to me. It made my mind drift.

I dropped Michael home on Alameda Avenue. Driving home I thought how I would have to 'work off' the cheesecake and milkshake. I was soon in my cozy bed and fell fast asleep.

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I'm In Heaven

'All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time.'
-as heard in the film
'The Five People
You Meet In Heaven'

A special someone recommended I read the book 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven', written by Mitch Albom.

When I realized there was a Hallmark movie version I recently added it to my NetFlix movie list. I'm so glad I did. I saw it during this past week. It's one of the best films I've seen this year.

There were two songs in the film that just thrilled me.
1. Pocketful of Rainbows by Elvis Presley:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2vbHWsEsAs
and
2. You Made Me Love You:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbkrzJjoC5Y

The other lines that captured me in this highly recommended film are:

-'Strangers are just family you have just come to know.'

-'No life is a waste.'

-'Hatred is a curved blade.'

-'Life has to end...Love doesn't. Memory becomes your partner.'

Speaking of 'HEAVEN' I shall close on one of my favorite tunes called "I'm In Heaven" by N-Trance:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTj6WydIlas

Twenty-five years ago today:

Work breezed by.

It was a typical evening as I went to visit Dad. I dined with him and watched a bit of television. I ate some great tasting 'sunflower seeds'.

I considered a drive to the Stargaze Club in Fremont, CA but decided against it.

I spoke to Chris Cordellos a couple of times (by telephone) during the evening. He suggested outings at the usual places in The City: Echo Beach, Rathskeller, I-Beam and Earls. I chose to remain at home and read an article or two in my Madison Avenue magazine. There was a story about the telecommunications industry and AT&T and Pacific Bell were mentioned.

I was tired. I went to bed. It is a 'Saturday' work day tomorrow--after all!

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I Like Boys

“You’re a different fish in a sea of sameness.”
-Jason F. Wright
In his novel, ‘The Wednesday Letters’

I read a book called ‘Telling Tales Out of School’ about a month ago. The following excerpt inspired me to write my very own ‘write-up’ of when I realized I was gay:

“I knew I liked boys more than I should. I had already had a torrid, if one-sided affair with Montgomery Clift and several other actors I saw in late-night movies on TV.”
-John DiCarlo
In the book,
‘Telling Tales Out of School’ edited by Kevin Jennings.

I laughed when I came across the above line as I was reading some of the stories in ‘Telling Tales Out of School’ (about gays, lesbians and bisexuals revisiting their school days). I did not really know the actor, Montgomery Clift, but he is on my priority ‘movie rental’ list.

My very own personal torrid, one-sided affair was with Robert Conrad, the actor who played James T. West in the TV series The Wild Wild West. I never knew his real name was Konrad Robert Falkowski until today!

It must have been in tenth or eleventh grade that I really confirmed—in my mind--my attraction to boys.

I grew up as a Catholic schoolboy at St. Anthony’s School in Oakland, California. When I was in sixth grade I was on the chunky side and began attending my first public school in Alameda, CA. I had a secret envy for wanting to be slim like most of the other boys in my class. I never realized my attraction to boys at this early stage though.

We are all different, special and unique in our own sexual-oriented way. Many kids ‘play act’ and dress up and ‘act out’ as ‘so and so’ during their growing up years. Girls could never be avoided. To this day girls still cannot be removed from my life. I love women.
I recall one gay friend asking me in my twenties, “You like tuna?” It never occurred to me that was his slang way of asking me if I liked women.
“Sometimes I do,” I said.

During my high-school years I remember being in the garage one summer, reading ads from an old newspaper known as the Berkeley Barb. My Dad would get the newspapers from friends at work every once in a while. There were explicit requests by men (and women) looking to date and act out sexual pleasures. Many of the advertisements were not really comprehensible to me at the time.

Looking back I realized I was homophobic (and I still am—to some extent). When I was seventeen I subscribed to PLAYBOY magazine for a year. I thought the magazines would help me get the ‘boy craze’ out of my mind. It was my way of trying to draw the attention away. This was around the time I had the one-sided affair/crush on actor Robert Conrad among others (Lyle Wagoner in the Carol Burnett Show; David Cassidy who played Keith Partridge in The Partridge Family; Bobby Sherman and a few other teen idols. I was what I called an “in-betweenie” in high-school. I had friends among the jocks and cheerleaders, the bookworms and the burnouts (the students who smoked cigarettes behind the school). I could easily interchange friendships in-between each of the sector cliques, allowing me to fit in with most everyone.

“Stranger, if you passing see me and desire to speak to me,
Why should I not speak to you?
And why should you not speak to me?”
-Walt Whitman

I had a secret crush on Paul Michael Glaser, the brilliant tough cop in the TV show “Starsky & Hutch”. It seems funny now. The “it” guy for me was ‘West’ of The Wild Wild West.

Years later (in 1991) I would attend my boyfriends’ daughters’ piano recital in Malibu, California only to actually see Robert Conrad in the audience, seated two rows away from me. He was older (more chunky) and much shorter than I expected. I thought him much taller when watching the repeat TV episodes in the 1970s. I was sidetracked during this piano recital event because actress Lindsay Wagner was there, too. She played ‘The Bionic Woman’ on TV and I had a secret crush on her too.

It was June 1979 and my very ‘first’ ‘Tale Out of School’ happened. I took a trip to Hawaii with a former girlfriend named Elisa Berney. We were like ‘brother and sister’ at this point. We were both twenty years old and were strictly platonic pals. We were so excited about our first vacation getaway to Hawaii. There’s something about that tropical heat that gets one going.

One night Elisa and I went to a dance club. I can still hear that Donna Summer song going strong.
“Bad Girls”

Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Bad girls
Talkin' about the sad girls
Sad girls
Talkin' about bad girls, yeah
See them out on the street at night
Picking up on all kinds of strangers
If the price is right
You can score if your pocket's nice
But you want a good time
You ask yourself, who they are?
Like everybody else, they come from near and far
Bad girls, yeah
Bad girls
Talkin' about the sad girls, yeah
Sad girls
Talkin' about bad bad girls, yeah
Friday night and the strip is hot
Sun's gone down and they're about to trot
Spirit's high and they look hot
Do you wanna get down
Now, don't you ask yourself, who they are?
Like everybody else, they wanna be a star
Yeah, yeah, there comes
Bad girls, sad girls
You're such a dirty bad girl
Beep beep, uh uh
You're bad girl, you're sad girl
You're such a dirty bad girl
Beep beep, uh uh
Now you and me, we are both the same
But you call yourself by different names
Now your Mama won't like it when she finds out
Girl, is out at night
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Hey mister, have you got a dime?
Mister, do you want to spend some time, oh yeah
I got what you want, you got what I need
I'll be your baby, come and spend it on me
Hey mister, I'll spend some time with you
With you, you're fine, with you
Bad girls
They're just bad girls
Talkin' about sad girls, yeah
Sad girls
Hey, hey mister
Got a dime?
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep
Toot toot, hey, beep beep

Elisa met an actual Hawaiian guy. She was mesmerized in ‘dance heaven’. The hotel was not far away. Feeling exhausted, I chose to head back for some shut-eye. Elisa promised to return to the hotel soon. I think she wanted to sneak in a few French ‘Bad Girl’ kisses with the Hawaiian fellow.

As I walked to the hotel I took a stroll along the beach side (not far from Waikiki Beach). I suddenly stumbled on a very ‘beach boy’ looking type who gave me eye contact. The feeling was very ‘electric’. We barely exchanged words. The eye contact and body language did all of the work for us. It was simple eye-contact and physical attraction at work. It was probably one o’clock in the morning. The only sign of real life was a McDonald’s where folks were getting their munchies cravings filled after the nightclub energy.

“Are you a local?” the ‘beach boy’ asked. He really was like a model torn from a page of Men’s Vogue.
“No, I’m on vacation from California,” I replied in a shakily and very excited tone. I felt a nervous lump in my throat as I spoke. It helps to be able to get a tan in just two days. I did look very much like a local.
“I thought for sure you were a local surfer,” he said.

I was so ‘hard’ in anticipation of what was about to happen. We found ourselves camouflaged near a large tree. He seemed so much more mature. I think I heard a new version of Donna Summer’s song.
It could have been called “Bad Boys”.
“How old are you?” I asked.
“I’m twenty-three, and you?” he asked, “What’s your name?”
“Twenty…Michael,” I said, “
I had just turned twenty years old and he was twenty-three. He was tan, blond with faint facial nubs from a couple of days of non-shaving. I had to ask his name and where he was from.
“I’m Craig. I’m from Palm Springs and I attend the University of Hawaii,” he revealed.

It was clear that we both wanted instantaneous pleasure before bedtime as I explained that I had to be back at my hotel to meet my ‘platonic’ girlfriend. It was all new for me. He suggested we go up to the lifeguard deck too look out at the ocean and the stars. It was our spot. It was my first receivership experience in the ‘oral sex’ department. It all happened so fast. Craig soon left. There was no exchange of telephone numbers.
“Thank you…Good Night,” I believe were Craig's last words.
A little voice said, “Hey Michael, you could be gay!”
I sat there alone on the lifeguard deck.

This is me.
I want to see. Quiero ver. Show me now. Feel it now.
I want to go. Quiero ir.
Listen. It could be anyone.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=03wCW2GiekY

Twenty-five years ago today:

February 9, 1984
Thursday

Today I sold sixteen 'custom calling' features. This was fantastic for me!

Helen and I took a walk to her hairdresser so she could pay for her haircut. I guess she didn't have the funds available yesterday.

I spoke to co-worker Steve for a while at break time. I also learned that Helen has a scheduled vacation next week. She didn't even remember! That's not something I would forget. She asked to reschedule it to July (I think). I am just happy my vacation escape is set for August and December.

I had planned return to Emporium Capwell today to buy that Speedo bathing suit but instead I went to the bank to deposit my $670 (that will ultimately divert to my $139 car payment, the $121 Emporium Capwell bill and the $420 VISA bill). Drats! I must get serious about my savings.

I devoured the homemade roasted chicken at mom's house and then returned to my pad for some exercise.

Chris Cordellos called from the Oak Knoll Hospital, telling me that he had been transferred to some other hospital in Fairfield this past week. It sounds 'fishy'.

While exercising I watched a couple of TV-sitcoms and read my Bicycle Guide Magazine.

Chris called once again and he started to open up more about his life. He mentioned his 'overprotective mother', his missing sister, his ex-boss, the back problems, the kind medical staff, the visiting hours (2-8pm) and his 21st Birthday in March. My 25th is on May 26th. Chris is starting to seem like a 'really nice guy' all over again. We simultaneously agreed how we both keep crossing each others' minds.

I washed a few loads of clothes, too. Surprise. Now it's "beddie bye".

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