Fire In The Hole

"Your gift is like no other," he said, and to himself, I shall treasure it always.
-Bette Bao Lord,
in her book
Spring Moon

For the last few years one of my photographer friends has shared words of wisdom and her expertise of 'floral photos' with me. Her name is Andi Hardwick. In her portfolio at EyeFetch.com she wrote:

'You'll see a lot of shots of flowers for a reason. When I was laid off from my job as a PC designer, for the third time, my partner and I decided to start our own business, a neighborhood garden center, "Grandma's Gardens". In order to identify the Iris colors, I took their portraits. Needless to say, we have many more flowers now, and they all smile for the camera. I hope some of their faces infect yours with smiles also. Enjoy!'

I had an ongoing joke with her about one floral photo (pictured above). She even changed the caption title to one I suggested: "Fire In The Hole". I bought a greeting card version of the shot at her RedBubble.com site:
www.redbubble.com/people/ahardwick

Andi passed away last Tuesday, February 10th in San Jose, CA. She fought a hard battle not once but twice against cancer, this time it won the war. She was so talented and I will miss her photography. Her charm and humor lives on with me. I never did meet her face-to-face but I always felt her spirit, love and joy.

Today I have chosen an excerpt from a recent book (I recently finished reading: 'Spring Moon' by Bette Bao Lord) as a tribute to her life and recent passing:

Why do children cry in the night? He tried to remember.
He asked softly, "What is the matter? Do not cry! Was it a bad dream?"
The child shook his head. Slowly the tears fell like brave soldiers before the King.
"Was it a ghost?"
"I..." His words burst forth. "I do not want to die, I do not want to die like True Mother. Why do I have to die?"
He put his arms around him, comforting him.
"You see, if no one died, the world would be a terrible place. There would be too many people, no room to grow food or play. So it is better to have a season and live each minute until it is time to join our ancestors."
The boy nodded, "Tell me what will death be like?"
"Do you remember what it was like before you were born?"
He shook his head.
"Did you feel anything bad?"
"No."
"Were you frightened?"
"No."
"I think that is what death will be like."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now lie back and I will sit here until you are asleep."

Twenty-five years ago today:

Thursday, February 16, 1984

Lexi called me from 'Passport Photo' in San Francisco (her workplace) while I was working today. I returned her call and we exchanged a few words.
"I saw Bill at the Trocadero Night Club and he mentioned you," Lexi shared.
"Yeah, what did he say?" I asked.
"He actually said you were an 'old age' item and that he hadn't talked to you lately," she revealed.
Did she call him on his behalf? Did she really call just to share her conversation with Bill Helbush? She wanted to discuss more.
"Why don't I call you at around seven o'clock?" she asked.
"Sure."

I had a traditional dinner at home with mom, dad and Tony before I headed out with errands on my mind. It was fun to experience family, fun, laughter and togetherness.

I went to Pro-Cuts in Alameda for a quick hair trimming. James cut my hair. He was a nice, quiet, reserved sort of fellow. He captured my interest during our small talk. I was also happy with the haircut. I might have to go to Pro-Cuts more often.

I loved the sight of the full moon during my drive into Berkeley, California. I was looking for the Velo Sport Bike Shop. I had no luck finding it on Grove Street. Little did I know that the street name was recently changed to Martin Luther King Road. I was so 'fed up' from driving around in circles that I split the scene and went home.

I arrived home to the telephone ringing. It was Chris Cordellos, of course. He is still in the hospital. We talked about his day...then my day.
"I will try and visit you on Friday after work," I said.
I could almost see his smile through the invisible telephone wires.

I was surprised to receive a call from Alexis. We made a date for this coming Saturday. She agreed to come to my pad.
"I will be here," I said, "just call me between six and seven."
I figured we could redefine specific plans at that time.

Mom dropped by later to bring a VHS-videotape. She insisted it was a good TV-movie. I was too sleepy to watch it tonight though. I went straight to bed.